GRAVEDALE HIGH Episode 6 The Grave Intruder Staring Rick Moranis Seen On www.bobanddougmckenzie.com

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GRAVEDALE HIGH Episode 6 The Grave Intruder Staring Rick Moranis

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Transcript:
[Music] oh
[Music] is
[Music] [Applause] [Music] please take a seat yeah
[Music] faster boneyard faster we must get this
issue of the gravedale cause that play
to rest
[Music] i think we should lay this printing
press to rip nonsense it’s still under
warranty
excellent now printing boneyard our
student body is awaiting this issue with
baited breasts
[Music] our student body stopped
[Music] settle down
[Music] and that means no pizza of frisbee
franken pike what pizza man
[Music] that’s delivery little dude
get a life cleo monster beat magazine
ranks new squids on the block the most
revolting act around oh yeah well
there’s sissies compared to my man rap
master tut hey
i assume you were both discussing ideas
for our class project as we all know
that was today’s assignment
uh
i got a tasty project teacher dude
let’s all head down to pop igors and cop
another pie pizza’s good but i was
thinking more along the lines of
something without anchovies you know
something educational ah
may i suggest building a full-sized
model of my monster one space probe then
the whole class can visit other planets
i’ll go i’ve never shot on other planets
do you think they’ll take months to
charge
don’t leave earth without it why don’t
we all invest in junk bonds then we
could watch your money turn into garbage
why don’t you all get a life
how’s that for a project the get a life
project i’ll take that under
consideration doozer
what’s this the gravedale gazette that’s
right mr schneider hot off the press
start passing them out
[Music] what do you do mean
hey what’s black and white and dead all
over the grapeville gazette yo i can use
a new coffin liner huh bet you can’t
wait for your cop producer yeah
schneider my snakes just go crazy over
[Music] it that dues are always with the jokes
i get the impression you don’t
appreciate your school newspaper you got
that right it’s a major stinko and i
suppose you could do better
well sure you bet i can good then from
now on you put out the gravedale gazette
and you better see that she does
it’ll be my pleasure head mistress crone
well kids look on the bright side well
at least we’ve all got a class project
right duzer you got it schneider and
according to old ironham i’m running the
show
okay listen up here are your assignments
jp you cover business
i love giving people the business
spending nightlife yo i did the
graveyard shift
sid you’ll be the entertainment reporter
great i can give myself a rave review
it’s the feel good performance of the
year don’t miss the world according to
said
waterman’s sports blanche society moon
geek science frank like photographer
cleo foo sure how about a chocolate
cookie get a life cleo i want you to
write about food not eat it
i must say duzer i’m really impressed
with your take charge attitude hey
somebody’s gotta show that harpy crone
how it’s done now if you’ll excuse me
i’ve got a paper to run
[Music] foreign
[Music] hmm
blobby next time i catch you oozing into
class late i’m putting you in the deep
freeze how’s the newspaper business mr
schneider well the presses are almost
ready to roll i’d say doozer’s doing a
bang-up job she’d better be because i’m
holding you personally responsible
and tuesday i’m serving soft shell crab
monster get a load of this beauty
tuesday crab monster how’s it going my
little chub reporter well monday and
tuesday’s menu sounds really tasty you
call a stupid menu a story you’re
supposed to be getting a big scoop
oh i’ll give you a big scoop try today’s
special
irish spew
these look like solid stories nice job
kids oh thanks
these photographs are very artistic
yeah man i’m a regular andy warthog
well i guess you don’t need me around
here i’ve got a faculty meeting to
attend
oh
oh dozer i was just looking over the
stories great stuff
all right let’s see what the dweeb
patrol brought in in the swim by gil
waterman full moon report by reggie moon
shroud a dead night in the cemetery by
vinnie stoker the torture chamber
orchestra reviewed
shall i start the press
i think we’re about ready to put this
paper to bed
oh yeah this stuff is about to put me to
sleep hey what about my pictures mr
snyder said my glasses were great man
frankly frankenstein your glossies are
dull just like the story i won’t print
any of this
boneyard stop the present i never
started them what are you reading that’s
so interesting
shocking expose godzilla to wed madonna
what is this a real paper the national
midnight star
available at finer convenience stores
everywhere
man sees spots after dating dalmatian
woman finds michael jackson’s real nose
in a can of soup now these are stories i
completely disagree these stories are
totally false contrived and made up no
respectable newspaper would print them
oh what’s respect got to do with it i
hear that reg has over 2 million
subscribers i can respect that right now
is this the kind of paper we want or
what
absolutely not
that settles it now let’s see if we can
put some zip in these stories and if you
can’t make them interesting make them up
this kind of hack journalism is an
insult to the integrity of the grey dale
gazette the gravedale gazette is dead
meat moonface
[Music] now on it’s the grave intruder
extra extra get your grave intruder here
in twitter exclusive headmistress can’t
keep hands off human honey read all
about it
[Music] are we a mega hit or what because that
never had this many readers
yes if my heart had circulation this
good
i might still be alive perish the
thought jp congratulations kids i hear
your first edition of the gravedale
gazette is a sellout i couldn’t even get
a copy yes it’s already a collector’s
item just to buy mine no but i’ll borrow
it hey this isn’t the gravedale gazette
you got that right schneider the old
gazette is dead and berry check out the
new improved doozified grave intruder
duser what is this uh it’s called the
newspaper teacher dude no i i meant this
phony story about me and headmistress
crone great headline or what sir this is
sensationalistic hogwash yeah well the
hops around here
in fact our entertainment reporter is
getting the scoop right now excuse me
what do you think of the grave intruder
i just love it intruding minds wanna
know
[Music] [Music] the intruders what’s happening well what
happened to those nice stories i read
and
yo teach we ought to get an a for this
class project eh
an a for awful the intruder has no class
they’re a life moon brain every monster
loves the grave intruder
[Music] that old battle axe crone must be more
desperate than i thought falling for
that human loser
i love this rag
huh coach cathamber’s secret shame he’s
got a human brain what that’s a lie
[Music] this brain is all monster somebody’s
gonna
[Music] get a load of this that bloodsucker
stoker said our cemetery is dead at
night yes and he called us a bunch of
stiffs
intruder exposed
roach is leaving protest
that’s a load of garbage my kitchen’s as
filthy as ever oh i’ll make them eat
those words sure i believe in a free
press dueser but that doesn’t mean
you’re free to make up any old story and
print it
a lot of people could get very upset
get alive schneider everybody loves the
intruder i don’t see anybody upset but
you
mr schneider
what’s the meaning of this
um well
well gee headmistress crong you see
we’ll discuss it in my office
oh the grave intruder is so cool yeah
can we have your picture
hey gilman we’re famous
yeah little dude this reporter stuff is
way radical
hey you reported types want some seconds
sure sal this newspaper business does
have its perks
hey
no one says south kitchen is clean and
gets away with it
hold the pool’s clear man i want a shot
of that for our next edition
[Music] [Applause] rabies
[Applause] [Music] slow down little dude i’ll get a picture
of you in the news
waterman did you write this story about
me
yeah coach dude pretty awesome huh i’ll
show you awesome
no one says i’m not percent monster
[Music] oh i was afraid this might happen vinny
it’s a bridge
i’m gonna get you fish
reagan right
see vinnie the power of the press is not
to be taken lightly hey no big deal reg
they’ll get over it we won’t get over
this benny stoker you can’t call us a
bunch of stiffs and get away with it
yo so i exaggerated a little you’re not
a bunch of stiffs okay
yo let’s go
well mr schneider is this story true
true
ah come on who’s gonna believe that you
and i are planning a honeymoon in
transylvania
what’s wrong with transylvania
it’s beautiful in the spring time
very nice but really head mistress crone
you and i both know i’m not your human
honey but you could be
actually i find you less repulsive than
most living things
uh gee you’re quite a wonderful dead
person yourself and i would hate to see
you upset by this foolish nonsense i’ll
have user printer retraction at once
oh i’ve always wanted a honeymoon in
transylvania
where’s my staff phone y’all don’t those
dweebs don’t have that deadline
well i can’t stay late i’ve got a hot
date tonight get real boneyard where’d
you dig up a date
right here in the national midnight star
percivals now excuse me while i press my
suit
well it’s about time i hope you’re all
out getting stories yeah and this one’s
short and sweet we quit yeah those
trashy stories of yours got us dressed
man just look at my shirt
and my dress is ruined
i warned you miss editor ma’am
publishing lies can only lead to trouble
get lost wolf breath
in fact all of you get lost i can handle
the grave intruder by myself hey yo talk
about a monster ego huh yeah man who
wants to work for that snakehead anyway
well barnyard looks like it’s just you
and me
dozer and schneider makes three i demand
a retraction thanks to your phony story
headmistress crone is hounding me for a
honeymoon don’t croak or anything
schneider what do you want me to say
tell your readers the truth duzer
headmistress crone means nothing to me
extra extra real man the grave intruder
schneider confesses clone means
something
[Music] where’s the retraction sorry schneider
sold out
wait come back let me get one last look
at you schneider while you’re still in
one piece what are you mumbling about
coach cadaver
oh no sir wait a little iron fist finds
out that you’ve jumped
so i mean nothing to you a mr schneider
i’ll teach you to try for with my
affections
[Music] ah
this is all a terrible mistake yes and
you made it
[Music] yo duser was right she don’t need us to
help publish this trashy newspaper get a
load of this headliner yeah man when
crohn sees it mr schneider’s gonna get
trashed
[Music] are you all right mr schneider sir
no
but you said we’d be married
[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] we need a serious talk
[Music] i’m dead serious
[Music] whoa teacher dudes heading for a major
wipeout yeah kroon’s gonna turn
schneider into another gravedale stiff
man
it’s all doozer’s fault
there might be a way to teach her that
the power of the press is a two-edged
sword
[Music] don’t stop now mr boneyard sir we’ve got
to get out this special edition of the
grave intruder and i’ve got to get to my
date
but we’re out of ink hand me your squid
[Music] i know you’re in there somewhere mr
schneider
[Music] [Applause] [Music] doing in my office come to beg for your
old jobs back not exactly but we came up
with a hot scoop that’s right up your
alley
suzer loves frank and tyke that’s a lie
didn’t know you cared man
[Music] no monster in their right mind would
believe this story why not they believed
everything else
just let your readers decide
okay i get it what’s it gonna take to
keep that paper from ever leaving this
dungeon we want you to make this
newspaper a class project again and that
means we bury the grave intruder
together
but head mistress corone you don’t
understand i understand perfectly you
male chauvinist human can i have him
when you’re done huh can i can i there
won’t be anything left when i’m done
extra extra read all about it intruder
expose schneider secret love hey man
read all about it
[Music] max schneider reveals his heart belongs
to the kids in his class then what about
those stories about him and me
made him up dozer you’re fired get a
life i quit
can somebody let me down please
mr schneider
i guess i owe you an apology
even though our little publishing
venture bombed we still learned a lot
about the power of the press and how it
can affect our lives oh well no power on
earth could ever make me be the bride of
franken tyke
maybe so man but i’m still saving this
headline for a souvenir i’ve got a
headline for you you little jerk
[Applause] it’s fun with ghosts and goblins on a
special halloween episode of parenthood
that’s tonight and it’s only on nbc
bye
[Music]

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