“Little Giants” Ever since childhood, nerdy Danny O’Shea (Rick Moranis) has felt inferior to his brother, Kevin (Ed O’Neill), a former college football star. Danny runs a gas station, while Kevin coaches the local youth football team. When Kevin’s team rejects Danny’s daughter, Becky (Shawna Waldron), because she’s a girl, Becky convinces her dad to start a rival team, though the city can support only one. To prove himself against his brother, Danny begins coaching his team of misfits for a playoff game.

Steven Spielberg famously decided to make “Little Giants” after seeing a McDonald’s Super Bowl ad and exclaiming, “I want my ‘Home Alone!'”

He didn’t quite get a blockbuster children’s movie, but Spielberg might have been on to something. When you combine Rick Moranis, Ed O’Neill, and a bunch of misfit kids with football and fart jokes, parents can’t help but feel squishy.

But Gene Lyons isn’t a parent. He also isn’t a moviegoer who will tolerate easy stereotypes, inorganic relationships, dumb training montages, or sports movies with trick plays.

Who will win the day in this review? Will it be Ash with her cutthroat views on child performance? Will it be Big D with his football history? Or will it be Gene hatred of storied sports franchises? It’s a gridiron clash here at Shat The Movies!

Little Giants Quote: “That’s no cheerleader. That’s my niece, Becky… She’s pissed.” – Kevin O’Shea

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Tags: Little Giants, 1994, Rick Moranis, Ed O’Neill, Devon Sawa, Shawna Waldron, Todd Bosley, Michael Zwiener, Danny Pritchett, Troy Simmons, Sam Horrigan, Joey Simmrin, Marcus Toji, Christopher Walberg, Matthew McCurley, Alexa PenaVega, Mary Ellen Trainor, Susanna Thompson, Dabbs Greer, Rance Howard, Frank Welker, Mark Holton, Amblin Entertainment, Warner Bros. Pictures, Comedy, Family, Duwayne Dunham, Arne Schmidt, Janusz Kamiński, John Debney, American Football Coach, Sport
Transcript:
gene imagine if these were like 10
little dogs okay and they were on a
mission and the dogs were like they one
had a gimpy leg one
there was a fat dog right there there
was a dog like yes you’d be like oh this
is so the fat dog can’t run fast yes the
black dog’s really fast but it can’t
catch yeah yeah this is this i’m telling
you this is a half white movie if it was
dogs and maybe a vampire
remember when we first met john mclean
picked him up from the plane and took
him down the nakatomi tower
at the christmas party
and the terrorists were overzealous but
it was sweet when they killed ellis
[Music] welcome back to chat the movies the
podcast where we answer the question
where the movies we loved when we were
growing up really that good have you
ever caught yourself thinking why don’t
they make movies like they used to can
you still remember spending your friday
night searching for the perfect movie
rental blockbuster video do you know
what blockbuster video is if you
answered yes and this is the podcast for
you i am one of your hosts gene lyons
and alongside me are my co-hosts ash the
berserker barbie doll o’shea
hi y’all and big d dick ebert good
evening and each week we take a look
back in time and decide if our favorite
films still hold up the movies we cover
are chosen by you the listeners who
generously commission the films you love
if you’d like to see all the movies we
have covered we’ll cover or want to
choose one for yourself
please visit us at chathammovies.com and
have a look at the end of each podcast
we provide you the audience with the
number of wipes each movie would take to
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finally you can hang out with us live
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chathammovies.comtwitch where you play
video games and host watch parties and
other special events all that being said
big d what movie you’re reviewing
tonight
uh well gene after last week thankfully
we all escaped our review without an std
and this week we’re going to go back to
the gridiron we’re going to strap on our
jock straps we’re going to put on the
old shoulder pads and we’re going to
feel the shame and humiliation of being
picked last as we review the
1994 sports comedy for our wonderful
listener braelyn d
and it could only be little giants
one braylon wrote in and said dear chat
crew thank you so much for accepting my
commission of the little giants for me
the 90s was the golden era to be a kid
especially when it came to kids sport
movies there were so many great ones
like angels in the outfield the sandlot
and the mighty ducks but for me little
giants was at the top of that list being
from dallas texas i’m a little biased to
see your favorite team represented on
the big screen albeit in the form of a
little league team was exciting it was
one of those movies for me that when
it’s on i stop and have to watch it how
i miss the days of saturday morning
cartoons with a big bowl of sugary
cereal and hanging out with my friends
thanks again for all the joyful years
and hopefully there’s plenty more thanks
again ray lindy
thank you braylon for this palette
cleanser after last week’s harrowing
film in fact as we were doing the
research uh and notes and even writing
the metadata while posting kids
every time i googled kids movie
kids the 1995 larry clark film did not
come up but little giants came up in
half of those searches and i just kept
thinking man what a [ __ ] shifting
gears
yes thank you very much this is like a
wine tasting
braelyn is the glass of water that helps
us clear our palette
listen thank you very much kids is the
bucket we spit all the [ __ ] into
the little giants is a 1994 sports
comedy starring rick moranis and ed
o’neill as brothers in a small ohio town
coaching rival peewee football teams
according to the baltimore sun steven
spielberg saw a 1992 mcdonald’s super
bowl ad and said i want that commercial
made into a movie i want my home alone
the film had a budget of 20 million
dollars and failed to recoup it with a
total of 19.3 million dollars in box
office returns so big d ash we always
ask what your memories are of the film
we’re reviewing ash we’ll start with you
what are your memories of little giants
well like all good 90s girl tweens i
eventually saw all of devon sawa’s
movies and this was one of them and i
have to say for me this film really
stands out because it was the film that
i went wow do do i have to be a
cheerleader to have a boyfriend because
i was not wanting to be a cheerleader
and it made me really nervous and i
don’t really remember a lot about the
film itself when i was growing up i
remember thinking devin saul was hot in
this and casper
and until i started this re-watch i
wasn’t quite sure what it was but i have
to say my very cynical dark heart was
really touched by this little film and
i’m super grateful to braylon for making
me revisit it not for devon salwa this
time but you know for the movie
i feel like this is one of the kids
movies that we’ll review
that is just after
when i stopped considering myself a kid
i played pop warner football from age 8
to 13 and then i graduated up to like
junior high school football so little
giants was just a bit too childish for
me in 1994 at that point i was already
watching stuff like pulp fiction but i
remember my friends younger siblings
were like wild about this movie
everybody was really into little giants
and i’ve seen like the football scenes
from it but this is the first time i’ve
seen it all the way through
so growing up i must have frustrated
every high school coach
every assistant coach i was the
man-child gigantic like freak
and i could not play i was not athletic
i did not have the heart i didn’t want
to get hit i didn’t i was i was just a
disaster they got me out there i was
pathetic i should have dominated i
should have been a machine a man among
boys but no my weak-ass heart and just
my [ __ ] spirit it was just terrible i
was just embarrassing so i regret it if
i grew up in texas i could have been a
college athlete i mean i i had the frame
for it i just needed someone to point me
in the right direction but as these
sports movies go i was never a big fan
of the kid movies like even when we did
sandlot i remembered it but i was never
like oh i love that movie i don’t get it
mighty ducks never seen it angels in the
outfield
never seen it rookie of the year saw the
trailer never saw the movie i think
kevin brackett said it where i’d rather
watch an adult who’s like an acclaimed
athlete i’d rather watch the natural i’d
watch the natural for the 25th time
rather than watch a child like yay let’s
conquer it we’re going to win
that just never never floated my boat
mighty ducks you’ve never quacked
together about the flying v formation no
i love someone commissioned it it’s such
a great movie no
i mean it does have emilio estevez and
we know how i feel about him yeah but
but it’s also got baby joshua jackson in
it i love that movie
i just looked up devon sawa like what he
looks like as an adult
hell yeah lost that bowl haircut and got
sexy [ __ ] yeah i’ll be his tight end hmm
on that note let’s get to the trailer
when you hear your name called i want
you to go over to coach butts and i want
you to pick up your jersey those juices
are so cool for everyone who has waited
to be chosen
but he’s still waiting rivera
for everybody who has dreamed of being
somebody
but he’s still dreaming parker
for every person who only wanted that
one chance for the rest of you i’ve
never got it i’d like to thank you for
trying out
your day has come
let’s kick some fun
[Music] where in the hell do you get off trying
to put together another team guys like
you and kids like that i mean they can’t
help but they’re no good rick moranis
who are you vince lombardi all of a
sudden it’s peewee football ed o’neill
oh my god coach is a vampire peanut
butter and jelly sandwich you’ll never
get anywhere treating your helmet like a
lunchbox son and a cast of small wonders
timmy i’m not sure but i don’t think
that goes there in the story of a
gridiron miracle league rules clearly
state one town one team meet me at half
court it’s the 50-yard line
now with a little professional help
they’ve got exactly two weeks to learn
how to pass
what a hunk
[Music] son if you’re gonna cheat
win block get the beer on your eyes
let’s go
you gotta mate and kick butt
one intimidation
i’ll show you intimidation
little giants do you like football no
you want to play football no
great you can be on our team heroes come
in all sizes
danny o’shea has always lived in the
shadow of his older brother kevin a
heisman trophy winner and local football
hero despite being the best player in
town danny’s daughter becky nicknamed
icebox is cut from kevin’s cowboys team
because she is a girl also cut are her
less talented friends rasheed hannan who
can’t catch anything tad simpson who is
a poor runner and rudy zoltek who’s
overweight and gassy after being
ridiculed by the players who made the
team becky convinces her dad to coach a
new peewee team of their own
there are many actors that i find
incredibly charming but there is one
amongst them all that i just think is
the most absolutely precious man and
that is rick moranis i think that he his
presence on screen there’s just
something about him from space balls to
ghostbusters to pretty much everything
he’s been in honey i shrunk the kids i
mean whenever he’s on screen he makes
you feel safe he makes you feel happy he
makes me feel really good and i just
hate that he left acting and if you know
his story like it’s actually a really
sad story about why he had to leave but
everything he’s done i think he elevates
and this is no different i i think it
takes all of five seconds for you to
figure out just by the way he’s dressed
and the way he carries himself that he’s
a sad single dad that we’re gonna love
and root for in this movie and only an
actor like rick moranis can make that
character not pitiful but make them just
really endearing i’m so glad you brought
up the way he dresses because i have a
new complaint about rick moranis i’m a
fan as you are but after seeing him in
brewster’s millions when he had a beard
and dressed like a normal human being i
now realize that in all of his roles
he’s trying to make himself look like a
[ __ ] and i’m like dude you’re
talented enough you don’t need to wear a
costume just be rick moranis slightly
better looking than you look on screen
in little giants and you’ll be okay
dude how did somebody sucker punch him
who sucker punches rick miranda’s on the
streets of new york
who would do that kids
yeah probably those [ __ ] kids yeah
yeah
kelly’s out there punching him man but
as cool and cute and just huggable as
rick moranis is how about justin john
ross the little one
he was young danny he was perfect and it
starts the movie off of the bang
okay you guys have now named two people
by name in this movie and missed the big
[ __ ] star rick moranis is a speck on
ed o’neal’s ass
ed o’neal this is [ __ ] al bundy and
you’ve got him in a kid’s
football movie he’s perfect for the role
of like aging heisman trophy winner who
owns the big dealership in town he’s got
those big blue eyes and he’s not trying
to be sadistic like this is a very
interesting character because they got
ed o’neal who’s a no-nonsense guy and
he’s just being a realist like stop for
a second and think if little giants were
real life and not a [ __ ] fantasy tale
he is 100 right in this movie oh he’s
100 correct he’s amazing he is not
married with children that was a sad man
this is a proud man he won a heisman i
want to know what happened to his nfl
career maybe an injury maybe that’s in
like a sequel a follow-up or a prequel i
would like to know why he didn’t go on
nobody talks about his pro career but he
is not the typical high school or like
football coach in general like coach bud
kilmer we’ve seen right the the guy the
win at all costs i’m gonna field the
best team i don’t care if somebody’s
hurt if somebody’s gonna die you know he
wants to feel the best team and that’s
what he’s doing with the exception of
icebox
all those cuts were justified they were
completely justified and he really tries
to pick up his brother he doesn’t [ __ ] on him he says listen einstein couldn’t
catch did we care no
you know come on just think about it he
said people have their own abilities
look at the things you’re doing with the
chess club the nature he’s not tearing
his brother down he’s not an [ __ ] he’s supporting him but he’s a realist
i i don’t disagree with any of that but
that scene where they’re all getting cut
ugh it’s so brutal because i think
there’s this moment that any kid that
participates in something whether it’s
sports or academic decathlons whatever
there’s a moment that every kid
experiences where they have to worry
about whether or not they’re being cut
whether or not they’re they’re good
enough and i certainly experienced this
with my dance career there was the first
audition i didn’t know like i wasn’t
completely confident i was gonna make
was in middle school and it was really
competitive and it came down to me and
another person for like first alternate
and i was just praying for somebody to
get hurt and unfortunately they did and
i got to you know play in the big
leagues but it was so incredibly brutal
and then i watched my own kid go through
it ellie had her first audition for a
ballet and there were 20 kids her age
ages three to five and they cut 11 of
them and those little girls were so
devastated and fortunately ellie wasn’t
cut and so like there’s part of me that
i’m like yeah like it makes sense to
have the best people out there but whoo
it is a tough lesson to learn yeah i
want to check your tonya harding ass
here for a second because
that age is way too young to be cutting
like they’re still learning fundamentals
how do you know if one kid is better
than another kid at that stage and i i
refer to like the fighting world right
the mma world
even the muay thai world of bjj world
at schools when we train
you all train together there’s no
cutting people you just have a fight
team and that fight team is the one
that’s like cleared to compete
but you still get to train together what
i don’t understand is cutting the kids
from even being able to practice
together that’s just unnecessary and
cruel so the kids are still allowed to
practice together in class they just
can’t be on stage in the show and at
that age it isn’t so much cutting for
prowess and like ability it’s cutting
for
attitude and adaptability and for looks
they want the cute kids out there so
it’s really [ __ ] up that’s really
[ __ ] up it is it is but listen to
quote the great nfl legendary coach jim
mora
we play to win the game if you keep
score
i’m not dragging along the dead weight
this isn’t feel good let’s make
everybody feel wonderful we’ll all get
medals
failing builds character when you fail
at something if you don’t achieve a goal
if you try out for something you don’t
make it you know what you learn a lesson
i gotta work i gotta get back nothing is
really given to me and if if kids are
given everything and everything they do
they’re part of the team and then one
day when they’re out in the real world
and they realize holy [ __ ] i’m not as
exceptional as mom made me think they’re
gonna have a really hard day what
[ __ ] real world are you in i spend my
entire day dragging my co-workers
through the [ __ ] their lives
they’re all underperformers and they
count on me to make them look good
it’s a team and we build culture that’s
because you’re dragging them along cut
them [ __ ] cut them all you can’t wait
you can’t cut them though because
there’s all this focus on collaborative
culture now right all that bs but i
don’t know i’m a complete hypocrite
because my son participated in a regatta
and i didn’t think he would win and i
told him it’s just gonna be all about
you know whether or not you know you
have fun and then he came in first place
and i was like cheering and jumping down
and he’s like i thought it was about if
i had fun i was like what was until you
won like thank god you won like you know
[ __ ] those others you’re aware they’re
worse they’re worse they suck yeah
that’s exactly they don’t get a [ __ ] trophy you do so i’m a huge hypocrite
ash do you want to uh clarify on that
regatta for our everyman listeners who
are about to throw their [ __ ] phones
through the window well it’s a scout
rain gutter regatta and so he built a
little sailboat with his dad and i
helped him paint it and they race it by
blowing with straws to you know get the
sails to move and and he won and it’s a
big [ __ ] trophy and i’m pretty and we
also won for coolest boats so just
saying
well with your community i was thinking
more like one crazy summer oh let’s get
the regatta you have to go in no we were
talking gutter drains paper boats one
day one day
his dad used to competitively sail so
we’ll see if he becomes an [ __ ] i’m
doing my laps
okay my biggest complaint about little
giants is pretty obvious in that it’s a
kids movie and my biggest complaint
about kids movies is the tired
archetypes that we see over and over
again and i get it kids have tiny brains
they can’t really figure out nuance they
need archetypes to clarify for them but
i’m not a kid i’m an adult and so i was
just annoyed with the fact that it’s oh
the black kid is fast the fat kid likes
food the losers all hang out together in
a clubhouse it’s just so lazy give us
something creative here
but they did you know besides the fat
kid who farting is a superpower
they start finding these rando kids hey
let’s walk down the street oh there’s a
kid who’s downtrodden because his dad in
the business world is leaving on another
trip oh hey you kid in the store do you
play football no you don’t let’s make
the team
they’d get arrested in most places
they’re going after kids wherever they
can find it but what i do like is that
they say dogs look like their owners or
their dear humans or whatever you call
it i also yeah i have giant distended
nipples yeah so the fat parent has the
fat kid the nerdy adult has the nerdy
kid they come in pairs
so i kind of like that
that’s exactly what i’m complaining
about though yeah [ __ ] that’s not how it
would really be
i know but i think but this is like
where like i think a philosophical issue
comes in with kids movies is it’s i know
we’re adults and we may like scoff at
those silly archetypes but who is this
movie for right it’s four kids
yeah but you could also make it that the
black kid
likes food a lot and the fat kid is fast
but can’t catch
yeah but it’s not true that kid’s not
going to be it’s not true you don’t
think black people like food or fat kids
could be fast
yeah but come on let’s stick with the
archetypes remember when you used to
play like nhl and sega you had the three
body types the skinny one the medium one
the big one you gotta kind of stick with
what you got the shadows yeah but i’ll
tell you this movie caught me completely
off guard and to use like a football pun
they called the [ __ ] fake punt on my
ass when they’re talking about mommy
that mommy’s not around them like oh
[ __ ] here comes the waterworks we’re
gonna get the story about mommy having
cancer or mommy got sick some tragic
story [ __ ] no
mommy straight up left danny says she
didn’t quit she found a new team my
heart was like ripped out of my chest i
was like [ __ ] this is the hardest lesson
these kids have learned getting cut from
this team should be nothing holy [ __ ] i
did not see this coming
i wish i would have had that euphemism
when i broke up with like a dozen people
in college called a fake punt not
quitting
choosing a different team
[Laughter] but but i’ll keep a fake punt in my back
pocket thanks just in case no problem
because of the one town one team rule
enforced by the peewee football league
the o’shea brothers decide to have a
playoff game to determine the lone team
that will represent urbania alongside
becky tadd rudy and newby an intelligent
boy who becomes assistant coach danny
also gathers other children that have
never been given a chance and dubs the
team the little giants among the giants
is junior floyd the strong-armed
quarterback son of dany’s childhood
crush paddy floyd becky slowly develops
a crush on junior and struggles with her
newfound feelings as a young woman
okay so there’s a rule here that i think
is really stupid that this whole movie
is based on so i feel like big d call in
[ __ ] like i don’t get the parameters
because they’ve got this rule that only
one peewee team can come from one town
and that’s just [ __ ] i’m sorry like
here in houston there are hundreds of
peewee teams that kids can play on this
is not a beauty pageant it’s not one
representative coming from miss arbania
or whatnot you can make more money with
more teams and i think the movie kind of
is on a really shaky premise at the
start because of how flimsy this setup
is
i mean i imagine urbania is based on
urbana ohio and if that’s the case
there’s like there’s like 7 000 people
there so maybe the state you know peewee
board is saying look for 7 000 people
you get you get one team but i want to
dive deeper into what you’re okay with
what you’re not okay with because
you’re okay with cutting a child a child
a [ __ ] seven-year-old from a team but
you’re not okay with cutting an entire
team from a town where’s your loyalty
lie no because good kids can make all
the teams and then the best kids win for
that town
yeah
yeah it’s like four over here
as a connoisseur of little league
baseball around this time i do like the
bracketing and and maybe this was a big
tournament i kind of got the feeling was
they were fielding a team to go up to
like a region a state a country so with
the little league yes there’s there’s
hundreds of local teams for the big
tournaments they combine their best
players who live within a geo boundary
they then compete as a team they then go
on to the larger regional so i got the
feeling that this wasn’t just a local
team for local play but they were going
national
but again that could all be just [ __ ] fans that’s what i that’s what i
pictured too which is why i don’t think
it makes any sense for them to just
immediately go start playing at a
regional level like you have to prove
yourself at your local level first he’s
a heisman trophy winner he can just
bypass that [ __ ] apparently
well ash you mentioned earlier that you
had a crush on devin sawa and i don’t
understand this phenomenon like i’m not
really familiar with him is he is he
supposed to be hot
um supposed to he is he was right well i
mean now it’s weird to say it’s hot
because he’s like what like 12 in this
movie but yeah it was he and jonathan
taylor thomas right like they were the
they were that’s the time kid
yeah the middle one yeah it’s kind of
weird this guy’s he’s a cuter kid
but i feel like there’s a difference
between the two because like jtt doesn’t
get his name mentioned in this
breathless manner by adults today i i
honestly saw junior in this movie and
i’m not kidding i thought that it was
like a young ellen degeneres
or something like i thought that was
gonna be the movie’s twist was that
junior was actually a girl and that was
gonna be like and then icebox would have
some sort of a revelation there but
between these two between icebox and
junior i felt like they had zero
chemistry with each other no i don’t
want to see kids here but like there’s
that scene by the lake where they’re
talking about kissing and i felt like i
was watching one of those stepsister
porns where it’s like well i don’t know
if i ever want to kiss anybody well you
could kiss me i can’t do that you’re my
stepsister zip
um no i think that it was precious
they’re just like these little cute
tweens that don’t really know about
liking other people you just get kind of
you know wiggly down in your tummy when
you see somebody who’s cute and you want
them to come and sit next to you and
hold your hand but like did you feel the
wiggles between the two of them i
thought that it was really authentic of
their age group because they’re like 11
years old like you said this isn’t kids
they’re not going off and having sex you
know they’re just wanting to kiss each
other’s hand in front of one another and
talk about tongues let’s take a glass of
water let’s rinse out our palate do not
bring kids back into this we’re already
polluting it let’s stay pg well gene’s
the one that brought up stepsister porn
i know he’s he’s like that but
we gotta take ourselves back in time now
to 94 95 this time frame the cowboys
were the big [ __ ] they were the big
stick of the nfl they were like the big
power team they were the big franchise
you got jerry jones out there you had
emmett smith troy aikman you know you
had michael irvin this team had won
super bowls you fast forward now they’re
a joke our fans in texas i i don’t want
to offend you it has been 25 years since
you guys have been to a super bowl 25
years since a conference championship so
people like to blame jerry jones it’s
his fault the team’s falling apart
because he’s got a medal you know you
got bill parcells you got jimmy johnson
big coaches they want to choose the
groceries if they’re gonna you know cook
a meal and jerry doesn’t like that so i
think maybe there’s a little giant curse
that’s been overlooked ever since this
movie they were the big [ __ ] it comes out they won a super bowl boom
into the [ __ ] so i want to start that
now it might not be real but it could be
while we’re busy making enemies there’s
a few sports franchises i want to call
out these are sports franchises that
just should lie down and die one i agree
with you big d the cowboys two the
chicago cubs like i am an avowed white
sox fan but it goes way beyond that is
that when these guys come out for spring
training they are the most annoying fans
in the world any fan base that carries
around a flag with a w that they wave
around when they win deserves to [ __ ] lose that’s embarrassing like act like
you’ve won before with them i would go
with the los angeles lakers i have not
met a lakers fan who wasn’t a [ __ ] prick and of course tottenham hotspur on
the chopping block i’m sorry big d but
the yankees are definitely on the
chopping block because that team is
stacked year after year and
underperforms and there’s just this
manufactured nostalgia for them that i
do not understand
well i think they as a personal yankee
fan when they moved out of the old
stadium when the original yankee stadium
or the renovated yankee stadium was torn
down and they went to now which is like
a a modern version of it with all the
luxury boxes and the corporate seating
you used to have the old drunk yankee
fan sitting in the bleachers for 12
bucks now you got a dude in a 5 000 suit
sitting down front drinking 40 cocktails
they’re not the yankee fan so right now
i feel the two corporate
just give them time and they’re not
stacked they’re a [ __ ] show this year if
they even make the wild card fingers
crossed
and also the steelers danny recruits a
new football ringer in town spike
hammersmith by tricking his overzealous
father but spike proves to be arrogant
and refuses to play on a team with a
girl kevin picks up spike for his
cowboys and convinces icebox to become a
cheerleader so she can win junior’s
affection
just as the giants start to lose hope a
bus arrives carrying nfl stars john
madden emmett smith bruce smith tim
brown and steve eppman they teach the
kids about football and inspire them to
believe they can win
as an 80s and 90s movies podcast we of
course are no strangers to montages but
in this training montage i realized that
rick moranis is a garbage coach he’s got
two weeks
two weeks to prepare these kids who
basically don’t know how to play
football for a game and what are they
doing with their time strength training
football is an incredibly complicated
sport and your team is undersized you’re
not going to strengthen your way through
this your only advantages are a good
quarterback and a stellar linebacker all
of your time should be spent on teaching
routes and tackling and nothing else
yeah but you forget danny doesn’t know
football he’s got the white urkel
running the computer the commodore 64 to
come up with some plays so he doesn’t
know it but even the pros don’t help
okay i thought i was a football fan so i
was like yeah we got the pros coming out
here i’m like yeah this is gonna be
great but they don’t help much 80 mental
40 physical [ __ ] it didn’t work they
come off the bus and i’m like who is
that white dude i’m like steve edmund
who is who is that
what is this dude doing with a batch of
hall of famers you got john madden
emmitt smith bruce smith tim brown
all hall of famers and then you got
steve edmund he i had to look him up he
was the number one pick in 92. he was a
bust he played only 50 games in the nfl
because of injuries entman if he had
learned anything in the nfl he should
have been teaching these kids how to use
painkillers like toradol to play through
the pain because he did not know how to
play in the nfl
i don’t know i just felt sorry this
whole part of this movie for icebox i
mean she
god y’all i mean i think if anything’s
aged horribly about this movie it’s the
way that they they treat her and her
character because i think today if this
movie were made icebox would be like
this badass she’d be championed i mean
just look what’s happening with like
disney princesses and the fact that elsa
doesn’t have a love interest and moana
doesn’t have a love interest and you
know they’re building up these strong
female characters and ice box could have
been that but instead in this movie
she’s caught in this like weird binary
where like she can’t be herself but she
also doesn’t like know herself but she
also can’t learn who she is because
everybody wants things from her for the
wrong reasons and here’s the long and
short of it she’s a cool [ __ ] girl
like icebox is the girl that grows up
that like you want to be friends with
debbie [ __ ] debbie sucks all the
debbies when they grew up they [ __ ] sucked and they still suck go look them
up on facebook they glowed down they’re
shitty they’re the dance moms that are
at my daughter’s like studio that go out
and drink wine during dance class
they’re awful ice box she’s [ __ ] cool
yeah yeah and to drive up the point that
they did icebox wrong they wanted to
emphasize her torn nature
like somehow implying there’s a
dichotomy between being feminine and
playing football so they didn’t even
give her pants for the big game like she
goes in the locker room and she could
find everything else but they’re like
make sure she’s got shoulder pads and a
helmet but she’s got to play in a
cheerleader skirt because after all
she’s still a girl down there
yeah it’s
yeah you get a lot of like like
turf burns or whatever i agree i thought
she should have gotten some pants but
we’ve already talked about the fact that
kevin isn’t the typical coach you would
expect his family isn’t the typical
family when we start getting into
the o’shea family dynamic it’s really
where i love it his family they’re
cheering for the giants he sees them in
the crowd he’s like [ __ ] what are they
doing when they they’re training in the
house he’s like what are we gonna do for
icebox and he’s got the couch cushions
and the kids are tackling it and he’s
like no no we got to get in there and he
launches himself out the window off the
porch breaks his nuts on the tree goes
in the pool
most other coaches would be pissed off
they’d be angry vengeful no the family
sits down and rewinds the vhs tape and
makes him watch it over and over and
over again laughing at him and it really
made you realize that this character yes
he’s got the bravado he’s putting out
that that fake facade i’m the heisman
trophy winner but he’s still that kid
and it’s still his brother and he’s
still a good guy i totally agree ed
o’neill saves this movie it would have
been irredeemable if they made kevin a
complete [ __ ] made him a misogynist plus
a guy who wins at any cost plus a guy
who can’t take a joke plus a guy who
disrespects his wife plus a guy who is
you know taking advantage of children
not like that but you know what i mean
ed o’neill is impossible to dislike and
they were smart to not try to make him
dislikable i think al bundy you know we
talked about a little earlier was kind
of the same like al bundy’s kind of a
dick but you root for him all the time
because he’s not all that bad but i
agree with you big d
he’s kevin’s a better guy than al yeah
but al bundy only had what that five
touchdown game he didn’t win a heisman
if al had won a heisman he’d be a
[ __ ] [ __ ] on the day of the game kevin goes danny
into making an impulsive bet if danny
wins he gets kevin’s chevrolet
dealership if kevin wins he gets dany’s
gas station facing a 21 point halftime
deficit the giant spirits are lifted
when dany gives them a speech they begin
to make a big comeback with a series of
outstanding and unexpected plays but
mike hammersmith orders spike to take
junior out of the game spike injures
junior by spearing him with his helmet
after the whistle which even kevin
considers disgraceful unsportsmanlike
conduct
so again kevin he surprises me here we
get a scene you’ve got now the robot kid
the one who’s been raised and bred
to carry refrigerators and to be just
nothing but football 24 7. they’ve moved
to the town to play for
kevin o’shea and he gets out there and
the father tells him take a cheap shot
i’m totally expecting that they’re going
to be on board they’re going to injure
someone this is where we get the big yo
the tension in the game [ __ ] no kevin
says you do that [ __ ] again you’re gone
you’re gone your kid is gone that’s not
how we play
he may be that overbearing brother but
he wanted to win as fair as possible
yeah this movie does something right is
they get sportsmanship right because
sportsmanship is everything and i think
it’s a hard thing to explain to people
who haven’t competed uh with each other
and i honestly think that the higher the
chance of injury at a sport the greater
the degree of sportsmanship i try to
explain to my mom all the time because
she just like doesn’t understand how i
can spar with people
and roll with people where we’re you
know punching and kicking each other or
trying to like lock up each other’s
joints and then still call them friends
and train with them weekly and
it’s because there’s a trust implicit in
sports right you play hard but you play
fair if you didn’t trust your opponents
or or trust your teammates you wouldn’t
be out there on the field and i think
they do a good job like showing that as
a message in a kid’s movie
well i think more than that i think
everybody always talks about how you
have to learn how to lose well but this
also addresses how you have to learn how
to win well as well which is something
like i honestly was not taught growing
up i was taught how to lose but i’m i am
the worst
winner like still to this day is one of
my the just the things that i wish i
could change about myself because i am
highly competitive like i get really
angry when i lose like bar games it’s
something that like i’ve always had but
as competitive as i am i win so horribly
where like i will like taunt my own
children like i won and guess who two
nights ago and i was like oh
gives me one in three questions you know
like i i have a really hard time winning
well and i wish there were more movies
like this that would have taught me
better i mean you won shad on jeopardy
like twenty thousand to one and you were
pretty graceful about it i don’t think
you gloated or anything at least not
like on social media maybe like your
family
no i mean i think it’s a little
different because i was drunk but like
like when i’m like i’m really when i’m
really down even more when i really
demolish us being drunk that’s like she
was toying with us
when i’m really into it you know i mean
tom one of the biggest fights we’ve ever
gotten into is we used to be a part of a
group that played
board games every friday night and we
would put everybody’s names in a hat
like you’d pick out who your partners
were and one night i picked him out i
was like oh great well obviously i’m not
gonna win tonight because he’s the worst
and he got so pissed at me because i
embarrassed him and rightfully so i
embarrassed him in front of all of our
friends and like he refused to play that
night which meant i got to pick another
partner and i i did win but you know i
mean i just i’m awful i’m terrible is
that like the suburban houston version
of a key party
no this wasn’t in houston this was back
in hattiesburg mississippi oh okay much
cooler yeah it’s much hey you know d and
d’s on thursdays and board games on
fridays super great social life so i
think i made a point here that i don’t
like this movie
but i will admit to be fair to be
objective that some of the lines are
pretty good uh two things that stood out
for me in particular were the writing
was just pretty clever was that the kid
rudy the the gassy overweight kid he
does this thing where every time they
call him up he like runs over and goes
you rang and he does like a lurch voice
that’s cute and then also you know
rasheed he gets some pretty cool lines
in the movie like at one point when he
gets cut from the team he’s like oh i’m
gonna have to be a senator
those moments succeeded
where overall the comedic efforts failed
i don’t think this is a particularly
funny movie but it has its moments and
i’ll admit that
witnessing the attack on junior from the
sidelines an enraged becky drops her
pompoms and suits up for the game she
immediately makes an impact when she
forces a fumble after a jarring hit on
spike other giants make touchdowns while
overcoming personal demons with a tie
score and time remaining for one final
play the giant’s offense steps back onto
the field and uses a trick play newbie
calls the annexation of puerto rico
victorious danny suggests that rather
than having the giants solely represent
urbania they should merge with the
cowboys so that both he and kevin can
coach the team
so as i said before this is my first
time watching the entire movie through
but everybody has heard of the
annexation of puerto rico if you if you
like was alive during this time you had
to have heard it now you see the gifts
you see the memes you see the clips
and in a case of life imitating art as
i’m researching this i’m like i got to
see is this a real play who drew it up
is it based on anything
nfl coach ron rivera of the washington
football team last november actually ran
the annexation of puerto rico they
called it the fumble ruski
and he ran it against the real dallas
cowboys
after the game rivera confirmed he said
yes i was inspired i loved the 94 movie
i’ve watched it with my kids like a
hundred times and this wasn’t the first
time rivera had run it during his first
year carolina he scored a touchdown
against houston on it this [ __ ] play
is real and it works
everybody should be running this yeah
running the annexation of pr in real
life is awesome running it in a movie
bothers me a lot because one thing young
football players and movie makers love
is the trick play it’s like in every
sports movie i think it’s the cheapest
idea in screenwriting that they’re gonna
have that trick play you know mighty
ducks did the same [ __ ] and i was so
disappointed because as people have been
ranting and raving about ted lasso which
is admittedly an okay show it’s pretty
good but what did they do in ted lasso
they’re like what trick plays do we know
and they did an entire episode about
trick plays and i’m like it’s such a
tired idea that needs to be put to bed
but you can’t what did you expect them
to overcome them with their talent with
the weight training and the the
calisthenics they’ve been doing they
need to find a way to use what they have
they’re smart you got urkel with the
computer and madden they’re going to
come up with a play that’s the only
advantage they have i think it’d be a
stronger message in the movie if they
just if they just ran it right down
their throats that’s the ball to rudy go
yeah well
either way whether they did a trick play
or not this is still a far superior film
to sean aston’s rudy because we
complained in that movie about how we
didn’t get enough of like the magic of
football but i think you do get it here
there’s such a dramatic you know idea of
a clock running out and them having to
figure out how to get the clock to run
out and it just works it may be super
formulaic but that combined with like a
really exciting score i think it makes
any football movie and really any film
the better and i loved every single
minute of this movie that got played on
the field
i feel like you’re just spoon feeding me
these talking points to this point
ashley let’s talk about that clock oh my
god because they got so much of the
football wrong in this movie in the end
scene we’re faced with a fourth and goal
situation but there’s no explanation of
how we got there it’s just suddenly
fourth and goal and why is the clock
still running it should have been
stopped at the change of possession the
clock should be stopped at this point
but it’s running just to intensify the
drama of the movie it’s not right
so as you’re reading that block a memory
pops in my head when i came to florida
for the first time in 98 i interned
quote with disney but it was [ __ ] it
was cheap labor and i opened wide world
of sports and one of the events that we
would hold there was like the peewee
super bowl
and it was i don’t know how all these
kids were seven eight years old but they
were running pro style offenses they
were i mean it was impressive what they
could do but there was a fourth down
goal line stand if they held them off
the team would win the defensive team if
they scored there was a stop at the goal
line and these kids went from like
machine football players like spike to
immediate tears like you reminded their
children and the parents ran out and it
was still one of my favorite sporting
memories i’ve ever had
well and i have to say that that’s kind
of what got me about this film and this
is this has to be because i’m a parent
because there’s no reason why i would
feel this way about a film that’s cheesy
like this other than because i have
children but
here’s the deal my son was born very
very early and because of that he has a
gross motor delay and it’s very slight
you can’t tell it unless you ask him to
do something that involves both the top
and bottom halves of his body working
together so like riding a bike is really
really difficult for him or swinging a
bat or catching and throwing because it
requires you know hand-eye coordination
and physical stuff and so because of
that
i have a kid who would not make the
cowboys he would have been a little
giant or would be a little giant and
he’s not athletic at all but he
desperately wants to play he’s begging
us right now to put him in basketball he
just wants to be a part of a team and
enjoy himself and every day he takes it
upon himself to go to the front of our
house and practice catching and practice
throwing and practice jumping and he’s
just desperate to be quote unquote
normal and in that way he wants to win a
trophy for something in hockey or
baseball or basketball because that’s
what his daddy loves and the hardest
thing as a parent
is to support that and support his dream
but to know that that dream most likely
will never come to fruition because he
is not athletic he’s not good at that
and physically he has some barriers to
prevent him from ever being good and so
that one game one speech that one time
thing that rick moranis gives them
it really hit me like in the hard and i
started getting really choked up and i
had a couple of solitary tears run down
and so it’s just like these kids who
work so hard they get that one time it’s
ridiculous it doesn’t make sense but i
couldn’t help but see my own son and
their awkward but yet successful
attempts and this movie made me feel
really good because of that and to walk
away and you know just have a good day
seeing a dream that my kid won’t be able
to attain but getting to watch other
kids do it was it was just nice
finn if you’re listening to this podcast
esports
go into esports more kids will watch you
you’ll be cooler you’ll get all the
chicks and the money if you want chicks
and money he is getting a nintendo
switch for christmas
because he’s super into spoiler alert
gaming well i mean he doesn’t listen to
the pop you don’t know what he’s doing
he’s five i do um because he uh is so
into gaming so yeah i mean he’s a cool
dude it’s just but the problem is he
wants to play sports he wants to be you
know a normal kid finn
this is your uncle jean
if you’re not good at video games
podcasting
also gets all the chicks and all the
money that’s lies
well i hope you guys will indulge me on
this one because this is a speech i’ve
wanted to give like my sister my cousins
all the parents at family parties who
have kids that aren’t particularly good
at sports
why sports like every time i talk to any
non-iranian parent it’s always about how
big or how strong or how fast or how
talented their kid is at a sport and
they pour hundreds of dollars into it
and they go to all the games etc but i
have yet to hear a parent again
non-iranian tell me about something
their kid did academically or like a
kind act they did or something they
created artistically and i’m not talking
about youtube i’m talking about people
like in day to day life like all these
kids you know that one moment speech you
were talking about
all these kids might be exceptional in
something else
which brings me back to just playing for
fun i think that we should encourage
kids to play sports even organized
sports just to have a good time and [ __ ] the competition angle of it you win you
win you lose you lose whatever
yeah but i don’t think it’s just about
sports though because i certainly don’t
ever talk about my kids with sports i
talk about academics for them and i talk
about them being kind because i just
want them to be good people don’t really
care if they’re good at like a lot of
things i just want them to be kind but
the fact of the matter is like the kids
want to play the sports because that’s
what society’s telling them
yeah but the kid wants the uniform
and to be in the team picture that’s
they don’t give a [ __ ] about actually
being good at the sport
but isn’t dance a sport a dance is a
sport and i did feel that way like i
cared about being the best and that’s
why i started dancing six days a week
and
my parents spent all those thousands of
dollars because i went i mean i was
probably about finn’s age when i started
to realize like i could be better than
other people
than wanted to be
and you never forgot that lesson no
never
i did it never
well now is the time when we give our
wipe score for little giants the shot
score is our way of telling you how many
wipes this movie takes to get off your
respective butts zero wipes is a perfect
movie it’s winning the heisman trophy
and moving back to your hometown to run
a successful car dealership five wipes
is an absolute disaster it is that cgi
snot bubble in todd bosley’s nose big d
we’ll start with you what is your wife
score for little giants
uh so as a man in his late 40s i did not
think i was the target audience for this
film so i brought in a focus group so
this score will not be just my own but i
brought in emma so emma and i sat down
and we watch this movie emma always says
daddy why do you watch football she
hates it she does not enjoy it she
thinks it’s boring i said it’s one day a
week she does not see it right so i’m
like let’s just get through it i said
there’s a girl she wants to play
football so i got her interested we sat
down and watched it she laughed multiple
times yes ash she thought j.r was quote
cute
okay
and his name is g or not j.r
no but i think she calls him jr or his
jersey says jr there’s jr somewhere says
jr for junior oh
oh gosh oh wow we’re getting [ __ ] technical here whine ash over here yeah
we got mine you look at my pinot grigio
on your ass right here listen
so she thought it was cute she liked
that icebox played football instead of
cheerleading she was excited and she got
into it she got really really into it so
the fact that little giants was a hit in
the earbud home for that i really did
enjoy the movie upon the first watch i
thought it was gonna be like the sandlot
[ __ ] but this movie has heart it
really did and it touched me and my
daughter on a sunday watching it i’m
gonna give it one and a half wipes
i’m sorry big d is this a podcast called
shat on what a [ __ ] child thinks of
this movie emma probably also wants to
watch frozen in the middle of july for
the 250th time no no this is why i say
parents should not be allowed to give
wipe scores for children movies you guys
should be disqualified and i can’t even
bring kevin on because he’s got a damn
kid too
me and the king bee just being pissed
about little giants i don’t think that’s
fair though because then i think like we
shouldn’t be able to like review vampire
movies and big we shouldn’t be able to
review war movies why do you have a
vampire in your house that’s gonna
assist you with the score no but we’re
all absolutely obsessed with him i and
by the way sir i did not let my children
watch this with me this is my score but
i think we all have biases right
yeah okay that that’ll be the rule
because you’re not allowed to
incorporate your child’s thoughts on the
movie into the score no that’s
sir that i do agree with and for my
own personal score i would say that this
movie isn’t like great it isn’t anything
that likes gonna go down as one of the
best movies even the best kids movies of
all times i i stand by the fact that i
think the sandlot is one of the best
children’s movies ever and far cry
better than this film but this is a fine
movie it’s cute is it formulaic
absolutely it’s formulaic but a lot of
the time that formula there’s a reason
it exists because there’s moments that
it really works and i think it’s a
little bit better than average and i’m
gonna say it’s two wipes you’ve both
been tainted by your love of children
our hearts are bigger
no you just gotta eat come on get listen
get outside your comfort zone gene i
know it’s in there that that little
heart that you you display for everyone
i know it’s two sizes bigger under that
shirt i cannot wait until we review a
dog film and then we’re going to call
you out and be like gene
gene you [ __ ] are biased because of
june gene imagine if these were like
like 10 little dogs okay and they were
on a mission and the dogs were like they
were one had a gimpy leg one was there
was a fat dog right there it was a dog
like yes you’d be like oh this is so the
fat dog can’t run fast yes the black dog
is really fast eats a lot of food
yeah yeah is this i’m telling you this
is a half white movie if it was dogs and
jeans and maybe a vampire
a vampiric dog
it’s my would blow
i will say that braelyn gave me
something different to think about with
this review because a lot of times we
comment on movies not aging well i think
that little giants probably aged just
fine like if i were a kid i’d probably
like it but as an adult i just found
myself uninterested in anything but what
ed o’neill was doing like the characters
as you guys mentioned they were
predictable the plot was water thin ash
you call that out completely why is this
tournament even happening and the action
was just hyperbolic everything was just
over the top i did enjoy the ending
because sportsmanship is everything but
i gotta tell you that ash in a rare
moment i’m gonna agree with you that the
sandlot is better than this movie this
is a four wiper oh you’re so you’re
[ __ ] that’s harsh
it’s hard you’re terrible come on
oh my god
this is not a four wipers this is not
red dawn this is better than
i want to find out what [ __ ] you up i
wanna don’t give it don’t call his mom
it’s not his mom’s fault it is her fault
if she met him for brunch on sundays he
wouldn’t be so testy okay cook some food
no she doesn’t call him she afterwards
oh you did not come to lunch why not
what nationality is his mom there
generic middle eastern
y’all i had a breakthrough this week i
asked my mom i said mom i know you don’t
like to eat late she says i don’t want
to eat after six like suddenly she’s
tony soprano’s mom
i said how about how about two o’clock
how about two o’clock on friday i’m
gonna take a half day we’re gonna go to
outback steakhouse it’s a favorite
bloomin onion and she dropped a joke
because she’s self-employed and has a
salon and on she gets paid like hundreds
of dollars a day from her clients she
goes i get paid on friday let’s go no
i was like oh right so i’m so stricken
so so we’re taking my mom to outback at
2 p.m
on a friday for dinner that’s awesome
wow
i officially have an old mom awesome
very exciting moment yeah
well with four wipes from me two wipes
from ash like i just deflected all that
and one and a half points you’re still
wrong
that gives us seven and a half wipes
divided by three that’s 2.5
wipes for little giants uh so gene with
a score of 2.5 wipes that ties little
giants with two other movies in the 132
spot empire records and back to the
beach both those movies are a pile of
[ __ ] this is empire records is an
incredible film
this is just as good as those i’m fine
okay
i’m gonna roll that back you’re welcome
i think each one of those touches us in
a different way
so i think they’re both equal i think
that is a good spot
in the pantheon of chat
didn’t you like back to the beach
i was i was surprised by it i think it
was all did a pile of [ __ ] now you’re
surprised by it
it’s a surprising pile of [ __ ] yeah you
you liked that one okay it was empire
records you hated except for joe you
were a big fan of joe you felt for joe
joe was following the rules
all right well
okay uh big d uh we’ve got a ton of
voicemail let’s see what we can get
through this week uh let’s start with uh
rachel from milwaukee
hey it’s rachel fee from milwaukee again
one minor point of contention from your
vacation episode
and i don’t mean to nitpick
um in fact i’m going to fangirl for a
sec just to let you guys know how much i
do adore your podcast it’s the one i
look most forward to you’re my ride or
die
however
you repeatedly refer to christmas
vacation
um as the sequel to vacation
now michelle and i did an episode about
european vacation in our pop-up podcast
called oh [ __ ] scenes and i know okay so
it hasn’t popped up in a while we call
it that um it’s it’s kind of like when
your boner goes into hibernation after
your wife gains the quarantine 65. wow
we’ve all been there no
no our oceans i’ve not been there
is way more off the cuff
and i rely on you guys for your solid
research and polish yet even we knew
that
european vacation was the sequel to
vacation
christmas vacation didn’t come out until
1989 which would have made it the third
in a trilogy
if they had stopped there anyway not a
big deal it’s not you know as egregious
as suggesting that scorsese
directed the godfather or whatever that
controversy was but just wanted to let
you guys know we’re paying attention um
and in case you were curious about
european vacation
word of caution avoid avoid don’t watch
it it’s terrible
um it would make tequila sunrise look
like interview with the vampire
love you guys thanks
[ __ ] me i would have bet my life
that christmas vacation was a sequel
she is 100 correct yeah i i knew it was
the third one i just misunderstood the
definition of a sequel because i thought
a sequel was any movie that came after
any other one in a series but it turns
out that the the actual definition of
the oxford definition is a published
broadcast or recorded work that
continues the story or develops a theme
of an earlier one but if you dig deeper
and go to wikipedia which we all know is
more correct than the oxford dictionary
a third movie cannot be a sequel a
sequel to the first sequel can be called
the third installment a three-qual or a
second sequel and then of course a
prequel is an installment that is made
following the original product but
portrays events prior to those original
work
so you’re absolutely right uh i was
using sql in the loose term meaning a
later one in the series i should have
used the term three equal or second
sequel or third installment no i was
[ __ ] dead wrong and gene you’ve just
established why she listens for your
research
i would have bet my life christmas
vacation was the second movie i’m pretty
sure we mentioned european vacation we
did the podcast yeah right but i i the
order of them i never would have even
like just thought of that
well thanks rachel for uh calling in
with that point of contention and
plugging your own podcast uh next up we
have one from rob from albany
hi this is rob from albany oregon and i
just listened to my first episode of
your great podcast and you know there
are so
many 80s and 90s movies podcast i was
looking through and i thought what makes
this one different and i was relieved to
see that it’s like an honest look at
these films because as meaningful as
they were to me back in the day mindsets
have changed and all sorts of things
have changed i’m usually in the minority
being a little bit critical of some of
my favorite movies so i appreciate that
so i decided to listen to red dawn this
one was formative to me
back in the day so much so that i i went
to the wolverine for halloween that year
but i quickly learned as i exited my
childhood
what that movie was all about and it’s
not a very good
movie
and of course my perceptions have have
changed as well but my comment doesn’t
have anything to do with the movie or
with the review of the movie it has to
do with ash’s dismissal of the threat
that the russians posed
back in the day she goes from
immediately saying she doesn’t know at
age one to immediately just saying i’m
saying i don’t think so uh with sarcasm
uh
which
really jumped out to me as someone who
lived through that as a child big d
threw out a whole bunch of movies from
that era that spoke to the threat
if you’ve watched any chuck norris
movies from the 80s you know it’s true
if you watch rocky iv you know it’s true
if you listen to sting music from the
80s you know the threat was
real and i think that needed to be a
bigger part of the conversation
certainly not to be dismissed by those
of us who lived through it as
children
thanks for doing the show uh thanks for
listening to me and go wolverines
okay
so
yeah i was one when it came out my point
is that looking back on it were they
really that big of a threat i’m not
arguing that we didn’t have like an
entire fear campaign and that the cold
war wasn’t real and that people didn’t
believe that potentially they were a
threat but you know you want to get into
the specifics here about when the cold
war began following world war ii i mean
stalin wasn’t exactly all about world
domination that was just a a big thing
that kind of got played up he was more
about worrying about things at home and
then we all know how the soviet union
fell and we all know the fact that they
talked to big talk and that they really
didn’t have the [ __ ] that they said they
had so my point in saying that was not
sarcastic to say that we didn’t believe
that they were a problem my point was
that you know were they ever really
gonna bomb us were they ever really
gonna have the capability to do those
things we know now that they had a lot
of show and not a lot to back it up and
that that’s what i meant i didn’t mean
that you all weren’t afraid in the 80s i
mean we were all really afraid of people
that looked like gene for a while after
9 11 but you know i mean it wasn’t for
real right like it’s just fear
campaigning
rob thank you for the support
uh it was difficult when we recorded
this to hear
gene and ashley just
[ __ ] on my fears when i was a child i
was scared
and they just threw it to the side and
they just just put me down didn’t you
just describe yourself as having a [ __ ] attitude yeah shut up
red door is a [ __ ] work of genius i
don’t care what you say rob you can be
my militia thank you
well thanks rob for your call uh next up
we have jen calling in from hawaii with
some more military education for me
hey guys that’s jen in hawaii i heard a
request for more lady shatters
to call in via voicemail so i’m here uh
lady shatter and former cellist
uh saying hi and
let you guys know
that as a fan who is also a parent
i’d like to think that we’re
contributing to the next generation of
shatters so it might be a small
contribution
but um if we all do our part gene and
sarah we can leave a pretty badass
legacy
because the world needs good people
raising more good people this is how we
win
and while i’m here i’m going to go back
a few episodes because i’m behind
i was able to locate a subject matter
expert to answer a very important
question
i believe asked by gene
why doesn’t the army just wear flight
suits all the time great questions uh
here’s the answer i got
although comfy as hell and adorable in
order to go potty not an army term
one might need two in certain situations
first remove several pounds of gear and
armor only to navigate a 48 inch zipper
pants just make more sense love and
aloha to you all we appreciate you bye
i love her
and jenna’s chill hawaii is treating her
well
i love her so much
i i think jen also revealed a a need for
the shaq community which is finn’s got
to carry on the torch because we’re
gonna have a next generation of shadows
that need something to listen to and
they certainly think we’re ridiculous
with our ideas of the cold war
uh
i mean listen in the field you’ve talked
about you know [ __ ] ticks and all
that [ __ ] what if they just put like a
butt flap on a on a
jumpsuit could you just use that no
because if you can like drop trowel and
like get
bugs can get in snakes can get in i
would rather just
no make it a little harder but if you’re
in like a flight suit you’re great
you’re in a plane
it’s all nice out in the field yeah it’s
not like that
well thanks jen for calling in as always
uh and thank you to your mystery army
man for helping us out with that uh
answer
our final voicemail for today comes from
our old friend hot sauce steve plugging
a hot sauce challenge that i’m gonna be
involved in really soon here
hey guys it’s once again hot sauce steve
just calling in to talk about hot sauce
this time um so coming up october 2nd we
have yet again another hot fuss
challenge we’ll be doing she’s going to
throw that out there in case someone
wanted to tune into twitch to watch it
and if you want to be on a future hot
sauce challenge you can find me on the
discord or on twitter as hot sauce
thieves have a great day
so for those who want to tune in and
watch we’ll be live on twitch uh october
2nd at 5pm eastern uh that shut the
movies.com twitch if you miss it that’s
okay you can catch it on our youtube
channel on the following day and after
that
uh but it’ll be me hot sauce steve a
couple other listeners a couple people
over at my house and we’ve got 10
different hot sauces we’re going to be
trying and increasing spiciness kind of
like the hot ones while asking each
other questions it’s a lot of fun i
think he toned it down for this one
because we had a little bit of trouble
on the first one and then the second one
was a little too weak so this is gonna
be somewhere in the middle of the
goldilocks of hot sauce challenges but
check it out uh again october 2nd at 5
pm eastern thanks for organizing it and
getting everyone involved steve
and thanks to everyone who called in
with your voicemails again if you’d like
to call in and leave us a voicemail
914-719 chat and just let us know what
you’re thinking big d what do we have
coming up next week
uh well gene before we get to next
week’s movie i want to do our review of
the week and a lot of times we get some
hate fresh hate for gene i decided to
share some hate for big d
and this one came in
from one of our listeners i assume
jordan peterson and jordan peterson said
i figured out the problem big d is a
tiresome caricature getting rid of him
would make this podcast so much more
listenable your best cast exclude him i
swear his stories are all fake and he
signed it america
so thank you jordan keep listening i
love you buddy
what i love is that jordan left three
reviews about how shitty i was and now
it’s changed to you so i just want to
say
jordan i appreciate you for giving me
another chance i’m really glad that we
were able to find some common ground and
um
thanks for keeping on coming back we
appreciate you bud i feel like jordan’s
onto something here because if we did
get rid of big d like we could be on npr
in a heartbeat
totally like the ash and gene show npr
would pick us up immediately or
radiotopia or like maybe like the guys
cereal
we’d be set you’re the thing that’s
holding us back big d
[ __ ] i’m gonna quit this [ __ ] jordan
if you want to start a podcast with me i
would love to do it with you we could
find a topic that you’re the last of us
i think yeah near and dear to your heart
maybe prepping maybe like the wheel of
time
lord of the rings all right whatever you
want to do contact me jordan i’m down we
could do it uh so please if you like
seriousness of the cold war
if you like the podcast leave us a
positive review okay this is a battle
between good and evil if you hate me
let’s go throw down the gauntlet people
let’s go
i may be a caricature but this shit’s
not fake and that’s sad but gene
next week we are going to one of the
classic 80s films i think anyone who
grew up in that time has seen this it
influenced them in a certain way
ecstatic when his parents leave on
vacation for a few days high school
student joel goodstein cuts loose with
his best friend miles after an attempt
where the [ __ ] are you getting steeped i
don’t know
joe goldstein not too much pinot grigio
i’m gonna try one more time
ecstatic when his parents leave on
vacation for a few days high school
senior joel goodson cuts loose with his
best friend miles after an attempt at
securing the services of a prostitute
goes slightly awry joel hires gorgeous
lana for a night of delight
stunned by the amount of lana’s bills
the next morning joel grows frantic
after he crashes his father’s porsche in
an effort to raise lots of money fast a
desperate joel turns the house into a
brothel commissioned by david k released
in august 5th 1983 and i cannot believe
it is taken
what are we on gene five years
something like that yeah yeah just over
five years five years to get to this
movie and it will be a memorable one
well we’re busy with the soviets
it’s a busy time
well thank you david for commissioning
our upcoming movie thank you braylon for
commissioning little giants and thank
you to all the commissioners who make
shot the movies possible that concludes
this week’s episode of shout out to
movies be sure to follow us on social
media and share with a friend we’re on
facebook twitter snapchat and instagram
at chat the movies you can email us host
chefmovies.com support the podcast by
shopping our amazon affiliate link
completing a free anonymous survey to
help attract advertisers buying our
merch or commissioning your own movie
find all the information by visiting our
website chefmovies.com also check out
our sister podcast chat on tv where
review tv series such as lovecraft
country westworld true detective taboo
american gods game of thrones and
watchmen find all the information on our
website shoutontv.com where everywhere
find podcasts can be found including
itunes google play stitcher and youtube
be sure to subscribe and if you stop by
itunes please leave a kind review just
like jordan that helps the podcast grow
on behalf of my co-host big d and ash
i’m gene lyons be sure to join us next
week for the following movie
so your folks are going out of town
[Music] just use your best judgment you know we
trust you
got the place all
yourself a good time
in the privacy of your own home just
take those old records
that’s her she’s fantastic
[Music] did you have yeah good time last night
i had a great time
never get high joe don’t let me do
anything stupid don’t worry
[Music] i don’t remember giving permission for a
party joke a party
i’ve got a trig midterm tomorrow and i’m
being chased by guido the killer pimp
doesn’t anyone want to accomplish
anything or do we just want to make
money make money make a lot of money
there’s a time for playing it safe
and the time for risky business
[Music] i threw myself because i saw on stage
i meant on screen anyway just ignore me
ignore me
i may have had three glasses of wine
before
uh i got one right now i’m with you
i drink red like a really pinot grigio
my god

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