Our Dynamic duo discuss current events. Boring shit. Don’t listen
Transcript:
we’re going live we’re live we’re live
okay awesome so we had a whole lot of
fun this morning
yeah what do you think happened
uh no idea no clue because like i said i
for work i have to stream like six hours
a day and i really don’t have that many
problems but
i don’t know because you’re using a
headset and i don’t know it could be the
site who knows
yeah we might just have to figure out an
alternative or something but it seems to
be okay now
yeah so we’ll just move on if something
happens we’ll just
we’ll just we’ll just call it quits real
quick we’ll be like it’s over
it’s over yeah i mean [ __ ] if it comes
down to like a 15-minute episode i mean
15 minutes is better than anything so
um you watched hard target last night
right
yeah yeah i did
when was the last time that you watched
it before uh
[ __ ] let me close this it’s probably
been at least seven years or something
like that i don’t know
five years it’s been a little while was
it everything that you uh
you remember oh yeah
dude was it was his hair as greasy as it
uh as you as you remember yeah so i
always
yeah i mean it’s one of the takeaways in
the movie i always think it’s hair is so
like it’s so greasy but like crispy
and i can never figure out but yeah i
mean seeing it again and this time i
watched it on blu-ray so man i got i
could see all the shine all the details
of the shine and the
crunchy curls and stuff dude and they
were filming in louisiana so you know it
was like
extra hot so it was like super sweaty
and [ __ ] oh hell yeah i think that i think it was
just i think like you said it’s just uh
mcdonald’s grease like fire grease
yeah like he just goes and sticks it in
a fire and then
walks on the set something like that
cause it’s all stringy like uh
i mean it doesn’t it does it kind of
looks good because it’s so bad but like
it’s really not good yeah i don’t know
yeah
so what has been going on in the life of
the dick this past week
uh a mind-numbing amount of work
that makes me hate myself and then uh
but on the good side i watched
i think i told you i watched under the
skin that the movie that has scarlett
johansson full frontal
in it several times that was that was a
good flick that’s one i wish i would
have seen at the theater man because
several times she’s just completely
naked and that would have been a good
time to be like at the imax and yeah
30 foot on the one hand would you have
pulled a pee wee herman
you think like do you think you would
have just whipped it out and started
like jerking it
well no i’m not an animal man
but yeah i might have it would have been
one of the
you know pocket pool or something or you
know you wear a bigger coat and you kind
of
no i probably haven’t done anything but
it would have been nice to see that big
i could see you and your detective hat
just walking up and just
going in all creepily and
dude there’s one shot of her and it’s
the whole
image is just of her her like pelvis and
groin
yeah so you get this you can see uh i
mean since shadow so you can’t see every
detail of
her [ __ ] but like you know you can see
what what khan she has
so you can imagine on like a 30 foot
screen that’d be uh
quite a sight pretty good shot yeah
she’s she’s pretty fun man she’s
she’s one of those actresses that uh i
don’t
i i think she was uh pretty damn fine
until she cut off
pretty much all of her hair and then she
just kind of
i mean let’s be honest that’s still
boner but
it grows back right so yeah
hair does grow back she i mean she
always had like one of the best asses in
hollywood though
dude you get to see it you can see it
many times and uh
under the skin under the skin and uh
now is she a shaved girl or she got a
little bit of hair
um shaved the scenes that
it shows are full i think they purposely
set the
the shadows just right like i said that
you can’t see like
every detail you can’t see your [ __ ] or
anything but you can tell that she has
so i don’t know the terminology like
some women in their their lips like hang
and i think there’s names for them like
the different kinds of [ __ ] some are like droop like they hang out
hers are all tight like in there like it
maybe they cgi did afterwards i don’t
know but hers weren’t
she didn’t have any of that hang out it
was all very sleek and kind of dude i
like to
tight fold you know i like to look at
like uh
hanging lips as like the ghost of dick’s
past
like just someone who’s like been
through like a sea of [ __ ] is like this like curtain practically
that you have to open and it’s like
you’re revealing a show
and like in opera there’s a lot of old
shows that people
know about like when you go and see
romeo and juliet it’s something that’s
been seen
and done before that’s how i view a
[ __ ] that has like a bunch of lips it’s
something that’s been seen over and over
again and you’re spreading a curtain
to just kind of go through a meh
experience
so i i i thought the same i had never
i’ve never been with a woman that had
like
extremely dangling lips or anything but
like uh
on tick-tock i’ve seen some videos where
apparently women are just
they’re claiming they’re born that way
like i’ve seen on tick-tock like there’s
like a
a diagram that has like 20 different
styles of like
you know set up and they’re they’re
claiming that’s not from
excessive use like you and i were
thinking so i don’t know
yeah you know i’ve heard that too and i
think that’s just an excuse for
sluttiness really
it might be no i mean
different okay like just to go into my
personal history
uh there was a chick that i slept with
a long time ago and it was in a time
when the wiz was pretty desperate
but this chick had a ginormous
[ __ ] like ginormous right
like pinky size or half a pinky
uh i’d say half a pinky and
really awkward like going down on her
because she was
it was almost like sucking a little
miniature dick that’s what i was gonna
say man that’s that’s like a
yeah that’s like sucking an enormous
nipple or something yeah
yeah it was definitely a weird
experience and
but you did right yeah on that little
thing
you gotta i mean it’s not like you’re
like sucking a [ __ ] or anything so
you know the way i see it is i’ve got no
shame over it because
it was a woman she did you know it
wasn’t some like
[ __ ] off the street or something that
i just picked up and had a small dick
and she was she was a woman but she just
happened to have a big
[ __ ] so did you ever ask her about it
like how did you how did you get this
monster
well she brought it up before i could
even uh before i even saw it she was
like just to give you a heads up i got
this
this thing and i didn’t think it was
going to be as big as it was i mean if
she had a pierced
a pierced [ __ ] it would probably look
like something on a mad max or something
did she have a reason did she say oh you
know i i used to like
beat the hell out of it with like a
vibrator or something or was there any
no trauma it was just that’s how she was
born that’s just how she was born man
like i i think uh she was about to be a
hermaphrodite and the good lord
had some pity on her and was like i’ll
just curse you with this
so she had been born full dude she
probably would have been hung huh
walking around with like an eight-inch
dick or something
yeah i can’t say i’ve ever had that
usually
the ones i’ve been with are you know
those are those little piece size ones
you gotta kind of hunt for
you gotta like grab that pubic mound and
peel it back
try to find that little little gem
hiding in there
yeah but those are the fun ones yeah
now are you uh speaking of hunting down
and finding
are you are you one that likes to like
go down on chicks or do you
do you just kind of like to just get to
business
uh i mean kind of depends i mean i will
i don’t have anything against it
i’ve never been with like a squirter so
that might change it i don’t know
i don’t want to get like [ __ ] uh
waterboarded or something you know
as you go down you start looking and she
just starts shooting in your eyes
yeah i don’t want to like drown down
there so i don’t know i don’t have any
problem with it
do i like it i mean i like it as much as
as they want it or like it
yeah it’s like if a chick really enjoys
it i’ll do it if she doesn’t if that’s
not our thing
i don’t like miss it and like you better
let me do it
you’re gonna enjoy it you know
there’s like wet and then there’s too
wet and
i’ve had it’s always just wet
we’ve all been there where like your
nose is wet and then you got like a pube
in your teeth
it’s like dripping on your chin like
you’re sweaty because she keeps putting
the cover on you because she’s
insecure and you’re like [ __ ] man
it’s always a chore yeah yeah
it is women are are definitely a mystery
in
in sexuality like
we talked about this a little bit like
our on our
first unrecorded podcast we were
discussing like it would just be so much
better if they just got to the point of
what they like
rather than beat around the bush i think
they know what they like they’re just
embarrassed
i think they just want to be plowed just
like i just yeah i don’t think they want
to i i think they even want to
on some level think they don’t want it
i think they just want to be taken yeah
so i mean obviously that desire doesn’t
that desire is always
like a fresh desire that’s not something
like you’ve been married 40 years and
you don’t have that same passion to just
like take somebody like that
yeah you know the one thing about like
getting married and stuff you have to do
[ __ ] to
to keep it interesting to keep your sex
life interesting
because i just see it being
there there’s only i’ve heard it said
that the best
part of the relationship is the first
three months
and i i’m 100 convinced of this
that’s when you’re she’s the most
willing and that’s when you’re on your
most best behavior
like you two are getting completely
along
and i can only just imagine like i was
married for
six years and it just got worse and
worse and worse after a month
and um i couldn’t
imagine what the sex life of someone
who’s been married for
20 years would be like yeah i don’t know
what was yours i can’t imagine six years
so
yeah i mean but you were like you you’ve
had long-term relationships before right
yeah but the longest was only like three
years and even that man that was like
too much like i’m with you three to
seven months is like
the golden time i think cause you’re
just supposed to get the chick pregnant
and bail
like and maybe neither of you want to
admit that but i think that’s kind of
what it is
yeah i mean from from like an
evolutionary standpoint that kind of
makes sense like uh
you know you always hear that men are
are there to pretty much just have sex
with whoever and have as many partners
and just
spread their genetics as much as
possible and that’s why we have
high testosterone
one it’s a it’s a conquest
maybe the most fun is like finding a
chick and then like convincing her to
to go to bed with you right you know
like the most fun of it all and then
kind of after you’ve done it a few times
you’re like
and who’s next
yeah i can see that
i mean yeah let’s be honest i know you
don’t want you don’t want your chick to
hear this
you’re gonna get yourself in trouble
here she’s walking by right now
no you you over all right the you you do
uh you play
you play the good guy you just pretend
we’ll know what you really mean
you can say the right thing for her i’ll
put on this like
nice little best of security
and just be like you know what it’s
about what
what’s in the heart and you just got to
stay with
someone and find someone who loves you
for you
and that you know what
it’s all [ __ ] man like i
i know people who have men
and this just doesn’t go towards women
like
um people in different relationships
always like
i don’t want to name names or name
situations but i know a guy who’s been
married for a [ __ ] i want to say
26 years and stuff he took care of this
woman while
he while she was uh
basically going through some health
issues having to be in a wheelchair and
stuff
and she’s gotten better his health has
turned the corner
i don’t know how much she took she
bailed pretty much man
like currently he’s over in england
doing whatever the [ __ ] she wants and
this guy is kind of left to his own
devices like he can’t work he can’t you
know
he’s trying to get his health better and
stuff wait wait wait wait well you’re
telling me
love isn’t forever no
no you’re telling me love is not
unconditional
wait love is definitely conditional
and yeah especially
you know i’ve always heard it said in
like
maybe we’ll offend the one or two people
that will listen to this
but let’s just be real now mgtow
they have some points and uh i’ve heard
it said in mgtow
men are the romantics we’re the ones
that
idolize or idealize
the relationship and you know the
romanticism of it all and really
women from the mgtow point are just
looking for
security and a wallet and well i’m
talking about romance
this is how it goes women are like i’m
so romantic i love romance it’s because
the dude does all this [ __ ] for you
like the woman doesn’t do the romance
part it’s like the guy
gets the dinner gets the flowers does
this takes them to their most
spectacular date
and chicks are like oh i love ro well of
course you [ __ ] love romance
who the [ __ ] wouldn’t love somebody
doing all kinds of [ __ ] for you all day
but that doesn’t like get reversed for
the guys you know i mean it’s not like
you know they don’t i walked through a
walk to remember with mandy moore you
remember that one
uh the kid that was dying or something
yeah with mandy moore where she’s dying
of leukemia
if that’s okay it’s her that was dying i
couldn’t remember who he was dying
there there’s a scene where he he does
all this stuff once she finds out she
has leukemia
and he like takes her to the county line
because she wants to be two places at
once
like that’s the most jerk-off thing i’ve
ever [ __ ] heard in my life
anyways but she
she wants to be two places at once so he
takes her to the
county line and stand and she’s like
what am i doing here and he’s like
you dumb [ __ ] you’re two places at once
and
uh no chick would ever do that for a guy
like
we would just be in a hospital dying and
she’d be putting on twitter
my boyfriend’s almost dead and i feel so
sad
i took her two places at once her two
places at once was her way of telling
him she wanted some
some double penetration there i think
you misread it
dude can you imagine if uh
if she was like i want to be two places
at once okay so i’m gonna bring in a
black dude
to plow you in the puss and i’ll get you
in the ass that’s two places at once
because you’re in africa
and england at one time
exactly i think that’s what she is
hitting at and he just misread it’s like
something sentimental yeah get a
colonialist
and uh [ __ ] uh jungle boy
on both ends that’s two places at once
africa
and pretty much europe but you’re uh
yeah i mean you’re
you’re right i don’t think the well i
mean there are there are women that do
stuff for guys but
i’m just saying mostly women claim
they’re so romantic but it’s like
who’s the one actually doing the romance
there’s like the giver and the receiver
and then the receiver
they’re all like oh i love it i love
rovets of course you’re on you’re on the
good end of that yeah i mean i’ll i’ll
say this like
i don’t want to be unfair to my
girlfriend uh
she she’s you know and i
i love listening to mgtow people there’s
one dude that i listen to a lot
named undead chronic and i’m sure he
would probably
have something to say about what i’m
about to say
but uh
my girlfriend is good she’s one of the
good ones she
i’m pretty lucky and i’ve dated a lot of
[ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] women and so when i
make my generalized statements it’s not
necessarily towards her so
and she’s not listening in the
background so i don’t have to say that
she’s back
for our listeners she is listening in
the background
and let me lay this out for you what are
you saying is that that she still blows
them
so things are good because she’s still
she’s still blowing them or doing
something like that
something like that he’s like she’s one
of the good ones well because we’re
still
[ __ ] in so i mean touch base with me
in 20 years and maybe i might be
preaching a different
gospel but
i don’t know man but uh anyways
so speaking of pee wee herman because we
talked about pee wee herman about
no i want to say 20 minutes ago just
about
have you ever jerked off in a adult
theater
oh i’ve never been to an adult here
but the city that you live in they have
them right uh houston
um well you’re not supposed to like
growing
uh well no it doesn’t matter i think i
said it last time actually i think i
said something about because i think we
talked about you and
oregon because we talked about fires or
something yeah yeah
well that was the original one that we
didn’t record but yeah there’s
some point where i talk about guns or
something in texas and
um so growing up there are places that
look like they might be fears
but they’re so kind of shady and
mysterious you’re not really sure if
it’s just a video depot or something i
mean i went to the
adult video stores when i was 18 but no
i never went to one of those
those suitors man they they look uh
they they look pretty trashy i don’t
know have you been to one
no there’s one by voodoo donuts in
portland
um i i don’t currently live in portland
now but i used to live in portland for
an extensive
part of my life and uh
you’d always see like it kind of opened
but nobody was really ever walking in
route so it was kind of one of these
it was weird it was it’s in an old
building
um literally right next to voodoo donuts
so as you’re standing in line for
donuts there’s this adult theater and
every now and then you’d see some dude
like
just kind of wandering and stuff but
um so do you know is it like a is it
like a shared theater because i’ve been
seeing these things uh
i guess it’s maybe a new style theater i
don’t know why i don’t know i made it go
with the internet but um
they are these kind of you know those
photo booths where you go in and pull
the curtain
oh yeah it’s kind of like a changing
room so i’ve seen one online where it’s
like a changing room so it’s individual
see
and you’re allowed to uh i think beat
off in there a little bit
oh yeah like i had a i had a friend who
went in there with his
girlfriend at the time and they put on a
video and they just
they just boned right there they just
[ __ ] right on the bench
and there was an individual
no well this porn store had been in
there before and i even went in there
and viewed but it was kind of weird for
me because it was just kind of like
you don’t know if there’s like any
hidden cameras or anything
so i didn’t want to be there and like
have my own video turn up on pornhub
like watch this fat [ __ ] jerk off and
eugene oregon
or something but uh hello
can you hear me okay yeah i’d okay i
think i got dropped
real quick or something yeah it might
have been you um
but yeah i i uh
i watched a a clip for a bit like a
friend put in a couple bucks and he was
like oh enjoy and he went into the other
one
and it just was too weird for me like i
i wouldn’t have gotten like there was no
excitement to it
yeah that’s understandable i mean and
why do people go who would go and not
just sit at their house
and like pull up the internet or
something exactly internet you got the
privacy of your own home
you’ve got all the benefits you got
tissues
you’re not sitting on somebody else’s
[ __ ] like
what is there to lose with just staying
at home
well now go ahead there you go
no well i was just going to say well now
with like coronavirus and stuff not only
do you have to worry about catching
someone else’s like
venereal disease or aids by sitting on a
bench and jerking off
in a pornography store or whatever
but you got to worry about catching
covet too so
that’s true i’m sure that’s a business
that’s hurting too
because
yeah uh so let’s see
so if you think if you couldn’t get off
in the theater uh do you get off much
when you go to a strip club
i don’t know uh you know the funny thing
is is i was talking to a co-worker and
he’s from the philippines
and uh he didn’t know that
uh that
prostitution is illegal in america which
i
was interested like and so i had to like
give him an education
and basically tell him look if you’re
ever going to go to the town that’s
closest to us
because there’s a strip club there and i
imagine that there some of the girls
there are working girls
but if you’re ever going to go there and
try to solicit someone for prostitution
at least
make sure you’re within the legal uh
requirements of not getting busted like
you’re not soliciting them for
prostitution take a camera
and make a porn so
i’m hoping he follows my advice i think
he’s he’s kind of sheltered
and stuff he lives with his mom but he’s
a really good dude
and we were just talking about uh like
he’s one of the dudes that i watch um
uh videos of
women competing in the long jump and all
this stuff and he told me about this one
chick i
i’m gonna butcher her name i don’t want
to look it up right now because
uh i don’t want us to get disconnected
but when you’re off
look up i think it’s i know her last
name is gennake
or jennica something like that j e n
n e k e and look up hurdle
and this chick does this really
sexy dance before she uh does the
hurdling
just to like limber up and get ready
she’ll shake her hips and stuff and
she’s gotten famous for that more than
her hurdling but
it’s a weird claim to fame my but i
guess
i don’t know maybe a lot of them are
pretty attractive but
yeah i i find that the female athletes
are
kind of hit or miss some of them are
like they’ve got really great bodies but
then their faces are
kind of [ __ ] up but i mean i could
live with that i might
my standards weren’t so high that i
couldn’t live with that if someone’s got
like a nice ass
and a nice body and they’re keeping
themselves together i could
i could deal with you know uh i couldn’t
live with that
no well it depends how long you’re
talking about living
i can’t i don’t want to live a lifetime
with that well i’m not talking like
you know who let the dogs out where
they’re like
just completely oh i was joking because
i can’t live a lifetime with any chick
yeah that’s true
i barely live a lifetime with myself how
am i going to pull something else into
it
yeah well i wonder if she gets famous
enough from doing a dance if she’ll
start having competition and slowly
the art of uh what
what sport does she do hurdling
uh so then over time the sport hurling
would become a strip show and then a
hurdle
like you know the competition will start
to grow somebody will dance and then
eventually somebody will start stripping
and then eventually they’ll just start
having this whole stripper dance before
hurdling
well i know she’s famous for her dance
more than she is for her hurdling like
her video uh like
just went viral and
that’s what i mean is that like if she’s
the only one doing it
there’s no competition so it won’t take
long for at least one other girl to be
like oh hell no
you know i’m going to beat her at that
and then then another girl come and then
another and slowly it’ll be like
the thing to do yeah
you know the one thing i worry about
with that though
is like all the [ __ ] coming into
women’s sports can you imagine if
stripping became a part of it
they just they take off their bra they
got some like freshly minted
breasts just that were installed like a
month ago you can still kind of see a
little bit of the scars but then
to make matters worse you see a pair of
hairy boys just kind of dangling around
well i don’t know i’ll take that risk
if it means all the little girls strip
before they they hurdle
yeah yeah that’d be worth it so uh
is there any news that you’ve seen over
the last week that you’ve just been like
what the [ __ ] is going on with that
uh no i don’t watch the news except
yesterday i was on tick-tock and they
were talking about trump got covered so
i turned on the tv to like
double check that was all that’s the
only thing i’ve seen
this week did he actually get covered or
yeah yeah hammond
the first lady there in the hospital or
he’s
he’s in the hospital i know she is but
he’s he’s in whatever
penthouse a hospital office or whatever
getting treated yeah that’s funny
because wasn’t he saying that that like
uh i forget what it’s called
hydrochlorizide or whatever
yeah or something yeah yeah
it wasn’t he like swearing by it that it
was going to keep him safe
yeah well apparently well i don’t even
know because i don’t know if it’s
i mean just because so tick tock said it
happened i was like well
we’ll double check and i went i went to
like abc news or something and
they confirmed it but even i’m
confirming it doesn’t mean that it’s not
it could just be some you could have
gotten a test and
it could just be totally fake i mean
maybe it’s just like a grab at attention
because now i heard about it somebody
doesn’t turn on the news at all now
knows so like it could have just been an
attention grab and
they’re like yeah he has it maybe
afterwards they will
you know try to utilize that in some
manner for oh look how easy it was to
get over
or i don’t know who knows yeah
yeah that’s real so that’s as real as we
we know it is i don’t know firsthand or
anything
yeah the uh
do you hear that yep bastard
mailing at me i might mute myself here
in a minute if he just keeps doing it
and toss him outside
uh he’s a little [ __ ] we got him
fixed he used to be kind of cool
and then he got because of my
encouragement i was like he just needs
to go get laid
like he needs to go out and like
experience nature’s fruits and my
girlfriend
was against it because she was like yeah
she i mean she’s a responsible pet owner
and stuff and she was like i don’t want
some like stray feral cat to get knocked
up
because then we’ll have to take him in
and i was like oh that won’t happen
he’ll just
go out and get his nut and as soon as he
got his nut dude
i thought it would like calm him down he
went crazy
like he just started going crazy and now
that he’s gotten
um dude he found the meaning of life
yeah well now that he’s gotten neutered
he’s just a little [ __ ] like he’s how would you feel you got
laid one time and then your parents cut
your nuts off
well he got laid multiple times and it
was because of me
and he’s like the biggest [ __ ] towards
me like he’s just like staring at me all
the time and just
meowing and it’s like dude i gave you i
gave you the meaning of life like we let
you out of the house because of me
you went out you [ __ ] this cat and you
also beat the [ __ ] out of her because
well there was one night where uh i was
asleep
and my girlfriend like just all of a
sudden wakes me up and she’s like
there’s something going on outside
there’s something going on outside
and it sounds like
our cat is pretty much being put to
death but it turned out he was beating
the [ __ ] out of the
the cat that he was boning and like i
said he found the meaning of life
yeah [ __ ] [ __ ] the chick that
you’re with and beating her
i guess but each chick likes her thing
maybe that maybe that
that cat was just told what she liked
yeah you know well my girlfriend did
research
on like cat [ __ ] and she found out
that uh hey babe
no just verify you can nod if you
but i want to get this right for
scientific purposes
yeah so basically when we
she did some research and she’s a big
animal person she she loves animals and
she did research on
cat [ __ ] and what she found was that
the male cat will actually bite down on
the neck
and pin the female down to the ground
and then he inserts his penis and his
gap barbs right
is that right babe yeah they get stuck
together right for like yeah the hours
and they get they get stuck right ben
that’s right
yeah she’s nodding she she doesn’t want
to be a part of it she’s just smiling
and nodding
yeah they get stuck for hours and then
they they let her try to fight each
other or something
yeah it’s something like that it’s like
pretty much rape
so our cat monty which is a suiting name
because the little [ __ ] is
an [ __ ] and monty is the most
tyrannical name that you can ever come
up with and i’m actually the one that
came up with it
uh because she wanted to go with prince
and princess names like
yeah she wanted to go with uh her other
cat was princess mew
and so i was like well what about prince
montague from like romeo and juliet you
know thinking that
that might actually like reform the
little [ __ ] and it turned out that he
turned into
a little [ __ ] pompous antichrist that
goes around raping other cats in our
neighborhood so
that’s our cat and now he’s a whiny
little [ __ ] because he doesn’t have his
nuts
he just probably like hey man i where
are my nuts man you better let me out
where are you i’ll go find him if you
can’t find him
yeah that’s what disney needs to make is
a movie about a cat going and trying to
find his
nuts after he got a [ __ ] uh after he
got
neutered you like those old uh homeward
bound movies where the animals would get
lost exactly on their way home
exactly or what would it be called
though
well with my cat it would be called
little [ __ ] looks for his [ __ ] nuts
but uh like the benji movies and all
those
there was one when i was a kid uh [ __ ] it
milo notice was a good one that was a
good one did you know they actually
threw a [ __ ] cat off oh yeah
oh they did they did tons of things yeah
the bear the bear fight with
was it the dog or the cat they had like
40 and uh
i can’t remember the dog or the cat that
fought the bear but the bear killed like
40 animals
but you know with all the animal cruelty
aside the
japs know how to make a [ __ ] movie
dude dude they do but if you ever
watch one of those documentaries about
the making of that it’s like it’s like
one of the levels of hell
yeah it’s like the holocaust for animals
do you think they put little stars on
their chest just because they knew they
were gonna die like
i don’t know it’s some kind of satanic
ritual
caught on film yeah but that the funny
thing is that’s like a beloved family
film of mine
like i look back on that one and just
like
with such we didn’t know at the time it
wasn’t until like
maybe in the 2000s early 2000s when it
kind of
got when the internet was growing and
then the news got around because before
then you just didn’t even know you
thought it was made like
the way homer bound was somewhat
uh you know uh just using them
yeah yeah i mean because onward
bound was uh was made and they had like
a cougar scene and stuff but you know
that those dogs weren’t like
actually around the cougar and fighting
the cougar no no i mean then michael j
fox voice the dog or something yeah and
that’s what
i mean yeah michael jackson’s involved
you know they’re not killing those
animals
yeah i actually heard that the dog from
uh homeward brown
bound actually contracted um
parkinson’s from michael j fox sexually
[Laughter] you gotta watch out for that bells and
[ __ ] but you can’t say i mean who wouldn’t
have fallen victim to that if you’re
around michael j fox
yeah i mean well you know michael i will
say one thing about michael j
fox is he seems like one of the most
like one of the more innocent
hollywood celebrities like it doesn’t
seem like you’d be like
a person that would like be have this
dark
past behind him oh and i bet he does
well
i don’t know about dark but if you’re a
teenager and you have that much fame
oh yeah i know he is chasing he’s always
getting some on everything
yeah he’s getting some good head and the
funny thing is is like i watch movies as
an adult
and i’m like dude he even when he was an
adult he kind of still had this like
child
like manner to him oh hell yeah he
always looked like a kid even
even when he was doing that show
uh what was that office show he did i
can’t recall now
but he was like what was he like 35 or
40
and he still looked like he was 18 or
something 17.
yeah there’s like a big benefit to that
you know
but at the same time it’s like with that
do you like
exchange having a big dick for that or
like i want to know like all the
theories like
what what would qualify for someone to
have like a big dick maybe it’s just
that uh
i don’t know it’s weird because like
with childhood celebrities they just
never seemed to grow up
to me yeah they just i don’t know
he never he never like looked like he
grew a beard or anything so enough maybe
it was a hormonal yeah issue or
something
well i mean like uh haley joel osment
has been in some stuff and i
i would always see him as a kid but i i
think it’s just because he’s gotten fat
i don’t know who that is uh it’s the kid
from uh science
from uh
uh sign weight signs not science not
science uh
yeah you know i see dead people yeah
because we were watching
future man and he’s in the future man
yeah he that show is good man
like that i never finished it no i
haven’t i
know did you make it to season three
they have season three out now
i think there’s three seasons yeah i
think there is like
isn’t that the one where joe rogan kind
of comes in and stuff
sure yeah i don’t i don’t remember i got
to the point where they were
back in the future and haley joel osment
is
like a uh you know pretty much just uh
apparition he’s you know basically a
computer simulation
and uh oh okay yeah so you’re getting
close to the last
season yeah you’re pretty close yeah um
it is a hard show to remember because so
much changes that show’s like
off the wall like from one episode of
next to change is so much it’s hard even
remember what happened because there’s
like you watch a season
and it wasn’t like three or four
dramatic shifts it was like
38 dramatic shifts and you’re like it’s
hard to even remember to keep
up at some point but yeah that’s a
really good show yeah i know who you’re
talking about he does look like a kid
still
yeah it’s [ __ ] hilarious though that
show yeah
yeah i was i liked it a lot
so uh
trump’s in the hospital the news that i
heard about this week wasn’t trump being
in the hospital
the one that touched my soul was uh rick
moranis
being punished oh yeah i saw a video of
that
yeah yeah and it looks like the dude is
like african-american
oh [ __ ] he just went
well
i guess i just by my time wait here he
is
there you are i don’t know what happened
yeah
that happens but uh it looks like the
dude is like
african-american and i’m wondering yeah
he is
african-american but there’s really
literally no reason to punch a random
stranger
especially like that dude
okay i said michael so the video i saw
the video i saw it just showed
from well the one i don’t know if
there’s more than one video but the one
i saw you couldn’t even tell is
rick moranis it’s just like some guy and
it’s up in the top corner of the screen
so it’s hard to even see
and he gets hit and goes down and then
the black dude walks off and it kind of
zooms in on him because i think they’re
trying to
get his face out there but did the
article you read tell
say anything about why you’d punch rick
moranis
no it’s all random it was like
completely random he just walked by saw
him and decked him
and did they find the guy that punched
him i don’t know i didn’t follow up with
it
the one thing that i’m interested to
know though is is it like related to
like
because let’s be honest in the big
cities not necessarily in the small
towns but in the big cities there’s
definitely more of a
i guess you could say a racial divide
depending on where you’re at maybe
um so i’m wondering if it had something
to do with like
like what was the motive maybe he was
just a [ __ ] dick who was just pissed off and wanted
to take it out on yeah so i’m wondering
if he would have just punched any
white guy walking around maybe he’s just
gonna punch anybody
i guess over time we’ll find out yeah
more about
the exchange there so i guess it’s a
story right now because it’s
rick moranis and yeah people well
the name of our podcast
when people look it up they’ll find our
podcast
do you think these do you think it’s
possible that this
headline is a setup
like the pony which so
oh are we breaking up no we’re not
okay uh so basically uh apparently
prior to this headline i heard a
headline that it said rick moranis is
going to try to make
a comeback because before he quit
because his wife died and had to take
care of his girls and he didn’t want
to be any part of the spotlight or
anything i heard he’s coming back and
it’s
for ghostbusters uh for ghostbusters or
something
or he’s trying to make a comeback and
then after that happens he gets punched
so i’m wondering do you think uh it
could be a fake
kind of thing just to get a headline and
his name back out there and people
talking about him again
dude if it was
that would be genius on one end but at
the same
same time i would think he was a little
[ __ ] like i i couldn’t respect that like
how would we ever know yeah but i mean
he could come back to ghostbusters and
be just fine and come back and do
like easily he could come back and do a
honey honey i shrunk the kids
like movie with disney they would
probably love to do a reboot dude they
won’t even drink it anymore it’d be like
honey i virtualized the kids
and then it’d be like a virtual world or
something oh yeah he
he could easily like martin short has
made and i can i make a comparison
between the two because they’ve got some
[ __ ] in common i think um
martin short has made his career over
the last several years off of playing
like in shitty little kids movies
like uh the um
santa claus 3 where he’s like jack frost
and some other movies
and rick moranis could easily do that
with disney he could get
smaller roles where he’s not going to be
necessarily a headliner
but oh he could get lots of work doing
anything
he doesn’t he doesn’t need to to get
decked by some random stranger in order
to get roles but if he
did do that i would be like man that’s
like the most bitchiest move
i’m just theorizing i’m just making [ __ ] up because i did
you know i i just kind of whenever you
don’t see anything firsthand and it’s on
the news
there’s always a potential that it’s
well like bad in some sense i think
if like the funny thing is is that all
of the uh
all the media outlets and stuff are
making a big deal about it being rick
moranis and stuff like he’s still
super relevant yeah and he’s not he said
he’s trying to make that comeback though
yeah have you ever seen it oh go ahead
oh i was just gonna say he’s been in a
recently i saw him in a commercial on tv
and they don’t even utilize them they
just
make a joke that is rick moranis and
that having him there is like
validates the product like they don’t
even like try to do a pitch they’re just
like
oh look it’s rick moranis oh he’s he was
really cool
and that’s that that’s the commercial i
mean he is one of those people though
i i don’t want to speak too highly of
rick moranis
he was good and he went on a high note
and it wasn’t like
you know it wasn’t like some people were
they they lose steam like he is
he was full force and then his life
changed and he kind of bailed so i guess
well he i respect him for that that he
took the time to raise his family
so i mean respect to him for that he
chose his family over a
hollywood career and the funny thing is
is i think if he would have actually
tried
he had the same appeal that tom hanks
had which was kind of like an every man
he could have easily picked up like
every man type of roles
yeah for real could you imagine him rick
moranis and uh
and the da vinci code
[Laughter] no i can’t imagine that what i was
thinking was uh
castaway oh yeah you know the movie
would have been totally different with
rick mourinho well he’s got kind of like
a nasally voice doesn’t he if i remember
correctly
like he would have been like wilson
wilson yeah
have you ever seen strange brew strange
brew
yeah it’s a weird movie it’s like one of
his originals like he started off
i think on like canadian like the
canadian equivalent of uh
saturday night live and he had this
buddy
and then they kind of made like their
version i guess of jay and silent bob
but it’s about
drunks instead of stoners and their two
brothers that go to this brewery
and b and they pull this trick like they
found a dead my
mouse and a beer bottle to try to get
free beer
and uh they go to this brewery and
there’s like this evil scientist that’s
running experiments and
like all this other stuff it’s it’s
interesting it’s not
it’s one of those movies my ex-wife got
it for me because she was like
oh i know that you like these weird
movies and stuff and i watched it and it
was actually kind of a chore to get
through
but it was interesting enough to keep
watching yeah
so you’re not recommending it but if you
happen to see it
no yeah i’m guessing if you want to go
into the filmography of rick moranis
you know if you want to pay for the man
who took a hit for wrestling
i was gonna so since he got punched do
you think uh what if like another
com like another comedian a movie
comedian like try to nancy kerrigan them
they like paid the dude to go punch him
that could be that could be a
possibility like someone afraid of
stealing
distilling their thunder yeah yeah
and so i need to i need to have this
dude
and like do it do a tanya harding on on
rick
moranis
i’m just making stuff up don’t take that
serious yeah
well um the one thing
that i would say is
i i for one i didn’t know that um
that rick moranis was planning a
comeback i knew that he left
but uh you know
i think what they really need to do is
just like my
damn did you go out
okay nope you there yeah
all right okay all right
i’m trying to remember where you left
off oh well i was saying uh
i noticed he went off and then i was
just like ah
but um i think it’s any time that i
leave this stream
something weird goes on like you get
booted out or there’s like a lag so i
just got to stay in here and just try to
go out how are you
you were like going to another tab or
something yeah yeah
that’s it that can’t be it though i
think i’m just i don’t know
yeah that could be well i mean we’ve
been completely fine
for about an hour and when you first
came on
i had music going on youtube because i
was like you know what it’d be funny to
put this song
on there while it’s going and i don’t
have like all the tools to like
you know make this a professional thing
yet
but um what i was saying is
uh pretty much irrelevant i was just
gonna make a joke about like
the police officer who was on george
floyd’s neck pretty much being uh
rick moranis bodyguard or investigating
the case or something
like that i don’t know oh so you’re
saying that that floyd traveled through
time
and went to the future and then hit rick
moranis went back in time
and then the time police came and got
him
yeah kind of i mean i did have an
interesting theory and that i was gonna
like
proposition on something else and i’ll
just mention it
briefly here um
as politically incorrect as it may be i
thought it would be funny
uh i don’t even know how to go into this
because we should start off by saying we
were gonna have
you can see the wiz has a picture of the
cop i was gonna have george floyd
with the purple fedora but since i’m on
my phone i’d have the
uh well number one it won’t let me
upload a picture and two i didn’t have
that
that picture up on my phone anyway so
yeah
yeah i was just gonna basically go with
um
i was watching this thing as i was
thinking you know what if
what if it was all wrong and all the uh
the cops were actually like the heroes
in all these cases like i don’t even
know how to go into it so i’m not even
going to
it’d probably be something to like write
out and explain
but if i explain i mean you’re not
totally off base there are people that
i’m sure there’s people that think the
cops are correct
oh yeah and the hero in that situation
oh yeah
uh yeah i wonder what that means to some
extent even to some extent i agree maybe
not a hero but
when they’re doing their job and um
you know so when people are resisting or
having problems they
gotta appreciate when they take care of
it and how many times a day do people
probably say they can’t breathe on the
hand
when they arrest people so it’s it’s
probably not like a new
new thing somebody says to them oh yeah
well i’m like
the the funny thing is is nobody knows
how difficult it is to be a cop except
for cops
like you go try to police a violent
neighborhood and
see how far you go how many days you go
before you’re just like
bad good
not necessarily that but just
policing any neighborhood that has
problems any city and you’re going to
start to like
not necessarily you’re old you’re only
exposed to like the seedy underbelly of
the city
and over time that would kind of taint
your uh
your view of everything yeah make you
learn to harness your view
cynical and the the training maneuver
the one thing that nobody really likes
to discuss
is did he put his knee on that dude’s
neck
on george floyd’s next neck yes but that
was actually a restraint that was
approved yeah and well because you and i
know because we have jobs where we
at times are trained in restraint and
then there’s ones you’re allowed to use
and ones you’re not so
yeah and the one people he was allowed
to use though don’t even work most of
the time
you know that’s the thing that a lot of
these people don’t know or realize
is because they don’t have someone
trying to attack them or
resist them so i think a lot of the
people that get upset about this stuff
don’t really have any basis in reality
they don’t they’ve never had someone try
to [ __ ] them up on a daily basis
yeah that’s a bad situation because i
mean
no matter no matter your arrest for a
counterfeit
dollar even if you’re resisting
and you don’t have a weapon you
shouldn’t die in
i mean that custody a big problem but
yeah
yeah i don’t think that the cops were
necessarily the bad guys in that
situation i think it’s just bad training
and a bad criminal justice system
my opinion doesn’t even matter on the
situation so yeah me neither
we should we should move on there’s been
tons of people that have their view and
yeah it doesn’t even matter yeah
but um anyway so
you were saying earlier uh about like
two minutes ago
you restrained people have you ever put
your knee on someone’s neck
uh no that wasn’t that’s not a liable
restraint
have you ever been i’m not i’m not a
police officer so
mine it has to be far more humane
but in your profession haven’t you ever
wanted to
oh i mean they’re obviously like
things outside of the agreed upon
restraints would be great if he could
punch
or kick like that would take care of it
you’re not allowed to you had to you
know not harm in any way
so i mean the restraints i’m allowed to
use are very
uh very basic like from behind where you
grab their wrists
opposite arms and wrap it underneath
their armpits and then lift them off
their feet
you know kind of like lean back things
like that see that’s better than uh
what we’ve got we most of the people
over here
that i deal with you are only really
most of them just get what’s called a
belt shirt and that’s where you
are allowed to grab the back of their
belt and the back of their shirt and
that’s to keep them from running into
like
traffic or something and in that
situation you only have 10 seconds that
you’re legally
allowed to hold on to them so after 10
seconds you can release them to run into
traffic
but yeah and you’re running
yeah i mean so you really can’t restrain
them see mine were allowed to
actually take them to the ground and
hold them against their will
yeah long periods of time but the
problem is our like the restraints that
we do
leaves the restrainer
open to headbutts and being spit on and
potentially
uh bit and things like that so it’s yeah
we’ve
we’ve got some restraints like there’s
two person three person and in some
extreme cases a four-person restraint
where you pretty much can take them to
the ground but they try to
in our state they try to uh have
as little restraints as possible
because they’re more concerned about
someone
oh yeah you know they’re more concerned
about the person getting restrained than
they
are about the people taking care of them
yeah i understand and luckily right now
um
my certificate or whatever has expired
so
actually last year there’s an issue
where
uh there’s a potential need for
restraint but i couldn’t
so somebody else was kind of stepping in
as a woman
and uh i wasn’t allowed to do anything
until
if he would have hit her i could have
stepped in but
outside of that i wasn’t allowed to do
anything because um my certifications
expired
so i was kind of happy man some of those
cases you got to be
who wants to get [ __ ] up yeah well not
that i
whenever you deal with something that um
the situation i’m in there’s a lot of
people around
and i did not want to end up on the news
for like the way something looked
instead of like people seeing
what was actually happening you know
like see like some you know like take a
two second clip out of like a 20 minute
confrontation or something i don’t i
yeah i was more than happy to have to
sit back on that one
knowing what you do i could see what
what kind of spin there could be too
i don’t a older
african-american person
against a white woman so and then if i
would have covered it would have been a
white guy so it could have been a
nightmare if things had
really kicked off luckily it kind of
over it took time but it de-escalated
but
there were moments where i was waiting
for that punch to fly and then i would
had to come in
and you know what would have happened is
you would have accidentally like gone
down
and put your knee on their neck just to
hold them down yeah and then
what do you got planned for the week
the week ahead i gotta work my ass off
more
yeah it is it’s just it’s
ridiculous i’m not like
uh i don’t know i’m at like 60
percent quitting yeah
like especially if i go if i get like
covet or something and it takes months
to get over
you know you get that heart problem
after i’m i’m out of that job
yeah they don’t take care of us yeah
i mean here’s a good question
like with everything going on like the
last year
have you have you had a chance to like
step back and reevaluate your life and
just wonder
like like have you just thought like
what’s the meaning of it all what do i
want to do what do i want to accomplish
you know it’s almost for six years let’s
see last year was a full year that i
actually had working again
so i know right now i’m not in any mode
to
well i mean i had plenty of time to
think about all that stuff so
no no i don’t i
i mean everybody has their own meaning
of life and the meaning i think right
now is pretty basic so i don’t
it’s not even it’s so basic it’s not
even worth like
thinking about in my spare time well i
can pretty much
guess what what you do on a daily basis
i think i’ve figured it out
and correct me if i’m wrong i think you
wake up
you eat a basic breakfast with uh
balanced but basic you
drink a little bit of coffee now that
um and then you’re going to you’re uh
doing your job
[Laughter] you’re not gonna walk in the sideline
here already you’re almost slipping on
me
yeah i’m almost slipping but yeah i’m
catching myself
you do your job uh and then
you i’m gonna guess
i haven’t seen any tick tock uploads or
anything like that or instagram
so i’m gonna guess that your action
figure hobby you’re still
participating in it somewhat but it’s
not as active
you probably watch a lot more uh movies
and then you eat dinner yeah sleeping
out of your clothes jerk off into your
day old underwear and then go to sleep
uh well number one when i get home
i don’t like to wear clothes i think i
told you that even right now i just got
a shirt
i like to go pantless
your balls are on your chair right now
no i have a towel i’m like a
conscientious nudist yeah oh you know
i’m practicing for when i can move to
one of those communities
tonight i have a towel i put on the
chair but i gotta wear the shirts on my
back doesn’t stick to the chair but
yeah no um so
my day is more like well right now i’m
virtual but
when we go back it’s going to go back to
the normal routine where i got to drive
an hour each way to work
so there’s no sensible breakfast i heat
up a microwave sausage biscuit take it
with me eat it in the car
no coffee get to work do the job
hour home where i can curse off all my
complaints to myself then i get home and
yeah
i watch a movie and jerk it
maybe make a new record for the day yeah
see how many times i can do it
uh yeah the toys and stuff
we talked about that before was that the
first episode of the second i don’t want
to like rehash
it was the first so it wasn’t recorded
but yeah i still i still play with the
toys and stuff but
i don’t record it right now because i
was putting on tick tock but
i have almost 11 000 followers but it’s
all like uh
you know as little kids and so there’s
no
i don’t know there’s just there’s no
there’s not much joy having kids
that follow you it’s not like peers
where like there’s anything interesting
happening
it’s just these little kids that’s why
you gotta get on like uh
pornhub yeah well we talked about
something i could do for that
yeah yeah i’m just kinda and like i said
doing doing even doing things like
this like a podcast i don’t know
i sometimes i like to just keep things
as their simple enjoyment and not try to
make it enjoyment for others
yeah so yeah that’s pretty much my day i
think you got it
somewhat right i guess yeah i mean my
day is not too much different
the only difference is that i’ve got
people here that
expect things out of me like today i
gotta mow the lawn
so you got work clothes and stuff yeah i
don’t get to just sit naked
yeah that’s that’s why i want to be
that’s why i want my riding career to
take off man that’s a dream
it’s a jolly job you can do without
pants well one of the only jobs
well if you got like a a floating table
you could even be in your hot tub
then like riding oh that’d be awesome
yeah
i don’t have a hot tub though but that’s
the dream well
um what is your obsession with hot tubs
when did that begin
uh that started when i
potentially almost died every night in
colorado sleeping my car
in negative degree weather
and actually if you like when you read
my stuff when it starts kicking in with
these hot tubs
you can that’s when a winner hits and
then when um then i start talking a lot
about food
like if you if you went through my like
library of books chronologically like it
also in the hot tub center
and then i start talking big time about
food because actually i’m spending so
much energy
at night uh keeping myself warm just
like body energy
i start starving and so like at that
point i was trying to eat i’d be like a
large pizza
and i try to go to bed immediately like
i wouldn’t be like eat and then later go
to bed
like i’d eat it and try to go to bed
right then and man your body burns it up
so fast just keeping yourself warm
so yeah that’s when i’ll start the hot
tub thing started then
didn’t you have a sleeping bag or
something
oh man i had several i had several to
sleep in because none of them were rated
for negative
though the only one i had was rated down
to 30.
but i mean it was it was down in the
teens and the single digits every night
so i’d have
two of the 30 bags and then a a light
sleeping bag and then
several blankets and i’d put my dog next
to me so we’d keep our
our body heat together but how i didn’t
get frostbite on my nose i was really
worried about that
i don’t know because it would like wake
you up and your face would be so numb
and then you’d cover your head but then
you kind of breathe and
inside the car would get all the ice on
the inside the car on the windows and
and then it’s snow and you’d be buried
and like eight inches of snow
like yeah there’s many i really i was
really
like pretty high percentage thinking i
was gonna die well
and the funny thing is is uh you’d
mentioned before
in the past that you want to move to
montana and i’m like aren’t you scared
of
the cold well no that plan was uh
so when i got to colorado i got that art
studio so at least i had like a home
base to
get out of the cold and do my riding the
montana thing was to do in summer
i’d have to like if i was like even
living your car you got to kind of move
and be mobile
so yeah the montana would be like a
summer and then in winter i’d travel
down to
uh south where it wouldn’t be quite so
cold
but yeah the only reason i stayed in
colorado in the winter was because i had
that art studio
and that was just a lucky find so i
couldn’t bail on it so i had to kind of
like
just try to struggle through it
and then that collapsed because i in
like
february i got sick one night
ran a fever and there’s nowhere i could
go and i was really screwed
and after that i was like well i may die
doing this i better go back to work for
a while
and that’s why when i bailed that
mission and
got a job again is that when you went
back to texas or
texas yeah yeah because i
yeah because i don’t know how like
yeah running a fever when it’s like 23
degrees at night
is like it’s some kind of state of hell
and like all the stores are closed
because i was in boulder
so they’re not like they don’t have open
stuff that’s open late so i had to wait
till the next morning to even get
medicine
that i did have much buddy i had to go
find a hotel to stay in for a few days
to get better
so they’re like can you imagine when
you’re like have the flu
you just slept sweating but it’s like 20
degrees and then the next day you have
to go get your medicine get some food
and then go find a hotel and like check
in like it was like some level hell i
had found
and it was enough it was enough to send
me back to uh
to a job for a while so
what do you got in the pipeline over the
next couple years where you see yourself
i don’t know i don’t even worry about it
i try to worry about
three or four days ahead yeah that’s
the best way to stay sane like me i
uh we touched on it the last podcast i
don’t know where i’m gonna end up
honestly if my ex was
able to get my kids and take them to
montana
at that point i could literally go
anywhere because she’s kind of
responsible for
transportation at that point and i won’t
i would only be able to see them as much
as i’d be able to see them anywhere else
so at that point it kind of opens up
kind of the world
in some horrible way
what do you mean should be responsible
like even if you moved uh to uh
sweden she’d have to pay the airfare or
something i think in that situation
it would probably be that we would
probably have to figure it out together
but uh
to be perfectly candid man like there
there’s a part of me that’s like
i don’t want them to move because
and then i won’t get to see them as much
and that that [ __ ] sucks
but then there’s a part of me that’s
like
at least i won’t be stuck where i’m at
now
you know i can i can go somewhere i can
build a life somewhere because where i’m
at right now there’s
just the job that i’m at and a couple
restaurants
that’s pretty much it there’s a few can
you get a few grocery stores a couple
convenience stores
and there’s not much else around here so
what would be the life you want
like what do you want around you that
would would uh
improve things opportunity
like a different job definitely a
different job i [ __ ] hate my job
but um just more [ __ ] to do more
more people um i would probably want to
head back to idaho
just because my brother’s there i’ve got
a few friends there there’s
things to do there and it’s not a crazy
city
and it would be close enough to my kids
that it wouldn’t be so hard to go get
them
and stuff uh so that would
be probably where i would look at to go
but so you’re gonna stop stop your ex
from going or
because you’re making it sound kind of
like a good thing now i’m gonna
i’m gonna try to stop her just because
there’s
good and bad to it like the only good
that comes out of it
is that i’m not stuck here anymore the
bad that comes out of it is that i gotta
wait every
nine months to see them and uh i gotcha
there’s some people that would be like
oh that’s not a big deal and stuff but
like uh you know i saw i saw my dad
during the summers and stuff but
i you know i’m not my dad i’m not those
people there’s
you know i want to see them grow up i
don’t want to just see them and be like
wow you’ve really shot up since the last
summer
so there’s that aspect
but uh
it’s all because i came here when i came
here
to the oregon coast i i was under
the idea that i would come here and i
would just sacrifice
my early adult years to
just be here for them like i would wait
until my son graduated high school
do the right thing make sure he got
through it and then after that i could
go anywhere i want
and that’s the mentality that i came
here with and
yeah it’s not working out apparently
so yeah we’ll see
yeah i don’t know that’s a a tough thing
with kids yeah
well get sacrificing all that time until
they’re 18 that’s
i i wouldn’t even know i don’t have kids
even well you hate the shitty situation
i do hate kids that was true their
voices just i don’t know i don’t know
how people do it man like
under the age of i don’t know eight
under the age of eight their voice
is just like nails on a chalkboard i
cannot deal with it
yeah i definitely get that like
my kids are pretty much the only kids
that i can tolerate
that’s what a lot of people say so yeah
i don’t know
but i don’t want to find out that i
can’t tolerate mine either
yeah yeah yeah that’s a tough decision
that’s uh
yeah that’s that’s pretty shitty have
you ever had a pregnancy scare
like a chick that thought she was
pregnant
um not real well
no but there was a chick when i was in
high school that
we [ __ ] and then she was all catholic
and like
yeah i don’t know how to put it she’s
just a
a very good girl and then right after we
got done she wanted me to take her to
one of those planned parenthood to get
the
plan b things or whatever that pill is
that
if she was convinced she was going to be
pregnant or something she just freaked
out you know
yeah because we were young she lost her
mind after
and i’d also after we did that i had to
take her to her catholic church so she
could go to confession
and then she came back she came back and
she got the comment she had been crying
so hard
you ever it’s funny now
but man that sucks you want to talk
about an awkward drive go [ __ ] a girl
i have to take her to planned parenthood
where the people working there eyeball
you like you’re like
lucifer yourself walked in with this
poor crying girl
i’d take her to church so she could
confess
you never get in the car crying man it
was a it was a
was that a was that a one-time deal or
was it good enough that you went back
no actually it was only the first time
that she freaked out like that
now so after that it was all good yeah
it was a lot better
she just kind of lost her marbles on
that one yeah
i had a situation when i was i think i
was about 17 i was
banging this black chick and she was
the only black chick in our town and uh
she uh
we were together for two weeks and she
just i was so young and
when someone that age starts talking
about like oh we should
you know we went to this mall and we
were looking around at furniture and
stuff just like she wanted to go into
the furniture store so i was like okay
whatever
and she’s like start saying baby
we could get this couch for our
apartment and i’m like
our apartment i’m [ __ ] 17 years old
what are you talking about i love that
my mom’s like i don’t i don’t want to
move out at this point like
and so that like totally freaked me out
and
so i broke up with her and a month
later a month and a half later something
like that
i had been hanging out with one of her
friends and uh
we were sitting in her friend’s
apartment her friend was a little bit
older and
she was we were drinking 40s and what
what not but
she was like could i talk to you for a
minute and i was like
well sure and so she she pulls me off
into the
chicks and room sally was her name and
uh
not the black chick but uh the black
chick pulls me into the room
and uh she’s like i i have to tell you
something
and i don’t know how to say this exactly
and at that point at that point my heart
dropped into my [ __ ] nuts
because i thought i had knocked her up
like i was like i pulled out every
single time
i pulled and prayed yeah i was raw
dogging but i pulled and prayed
and like i remember just that feeling of
like oh [ __ ] she’s telling me she’s
pregnant
and it felt like forever but she finally
spit it out
you know i don’t know why women have to
[ __ ] drag [ __ ] out but she was just
like
i don’t know how to tell you this but
long pause oh god ever since
you’ve been hanging out with sally my
feelings for you have grown
and i just remember kind of collapsing a
little bit and i was like
[ __ ] and she was like what what what’s
wrong what’s wrong and i was like
i thought you were gonna say you were
pregnant and i bet that turned her off a
big deal
but i was like i thought you were gonna
say you’re pregnant don’t ever [ __ ] do that to me again
and you know the funny thing the drama
queens they’re like
we need to talk but we’re going to talk
later and you’re like wait what
we’ll talk about tomorrow and you’re
like well no no no no what’s we talk
about now
yeah like i don’t get the whole like
we’re going to talk about
this thing that’s bothering you right
now
at a later time i know we’re going to
bring it up but not it’s
it’s a power move i think yeah you know
you know the funny thing is i found that
the best way to
to handle women is to treat them like
children
not like you know talking down to them
all the time or anything but just
pretty much talking to them like they’re
a child like if you
if they start pulling that little game
or whatever you just talk to them like
you would
to an inferior and it seems to work
for the most part
not disrespectful or anything like that
but just you know
pretty much acting like an adult talking
to a child
and it seems
hello what’s up hello
you can hear me yeah okay they cut out
it cut out again
i didn’t even notice uh well i mean it
well your audio cut so i don’t know what
happened on your end but
yeah i don’t know they’re the drama
queens they’re drama queens and they
don’t make sense
there’s we’re not i don’t think men and
women are that compatible
i think we spend just like we spend 18
years in school to convince us of
societal norms i just think we’re
convinced that we’re compatible but
we’re not
yeah so what’s
what’s your funniest sex story do you
get like a
funny yeah like i’ll tell you mine real
quick
it’s kind of funny and sad at the same
time
okay so uh i’m not gonna
there’s people that that know me that
might listen to this
maybe so i’ll try to be as vague as
possible but basically i was with this
chick right and uh
we’d been together for a while and
we went into uh the shower to take a
shower and i thought things were gonna
you know
pick up and all this other stuff she
struck down to her knees
and she starts to give me some head and
she only you know
she has one two bob
three bob then stops gets up
turns off the shower and gets out of the
shower and starts drying off wait wait
and we’re walking
what yeah hold on we’re walking to the
bedroom right and i’m thinking
that you know things are going to happen
so i grab her and i start to try to kiss
her
and she stops me and she’s like what are
you doing
and i’m like well you know what what was
going on in the shower
and all that stuff i thought we were
having a moment it’s like
uh that was a treat
it’ll make people feel better i guess i
don’t know i think it’s funny it was a
terrible story
a tragedy it is a tragedy but i’m like
it doesn’t have to be like necessarily
okay like there’s
there’s another one where uh
i guess to me that’s funny now
like i can laugh about it now because i
think like [ __ ] i should have just
walked out at that point
but oh yeah that’s that’s my stuff
that’s like
that’s cruelty fortuner or something
especially if she really believes if she
believes that like three head bobs is a
treat
that’s like a red flag that that that
lady is like
not you you don’t want to be around that
that’s a treat what the [ __ ] yeah then what’s a punishment if that’s
the treat what’s the punishment
uh yeah so i mean that’s one that comes
off
my head i don’t know i think it’s funny
but
what do you got i don’t i mean nothing
that’s happened was
funny like that odd classifier is funny
i mean
the only thing i even might be remotely
funny is like when a chick’s ass smells
or something when you’re
going from the back and and you get that
whiff and you kind of like have to move
you’re trying to move your head out of
the way because it’s not
it’s not fresh yeah
but no i don’t have any and i don’t have
any torture story
oh i do have one okay well i’m sort of
along
it i don’t know you tell me what if it’s
funny or not i don’t know
it was in high school and there’s this
chica i just started dating or singing
or something and i was at her place and
parents weren’t homeless so i like
finger bang the hell out of her
and then she never reciprocated and i
got blue bald
like so hard even just driving home like
the car bounces on the seat
like excruciating or you feel like sick
to your stomach
so that’s along the lines of your treat
i didn’t even get a treat at all i
didn’t get three head bobs
i just got oh thanks for the finger bang
but i like drilled her like i gave it to
her good
i did my portion and then i never got
reciprocated
it’s because you got off dude no i mean
you know somebody’s got to go first so
it’s not like
the first time a girl’s gotten off first
and you know usually they reciprocate
but not this
but maybe i don’t know maybe she didn’t
know how or was worried or something
yeah but no nothing particularly funny
not like i ever like
farted when getting head or like
never had a girl [ __ ] on me or um
nothing like that so yes i’m here i’ve
heard sorry
maybe not enough experiences we haven’t
got around enough to have like the full
tour of what could happen
yeah i’ve never been with a squirter
i’ve never
i’m like i did have a chick oh i did
have a chick that i was
i went on one date with and then she
told me that
um she has rape fantasies and she wanted
me to like
get a knife and like creep into a room
and stuff
and it kind of freaked me out
did you do it though no so the thing
so on the good point she was like clear
about what she liked
like and i was trying to i was trying to
work with her i was like how about a
fake knife because like one slip on a
real knife and i’m
i’m going to jail like you know this
thing goes wrong
like this is going to look good for me
and she wanted like the real knife and
she wanted
to like have like the real experience
but like the controlled one
where you know she has control to stay
stopped but
to like have the illusion of non-control
but no i didn’t go through with it and i
didn’t see her again
uh number one she had a kid and i was
really against that idea
and then two i was like man if you open
the door on that like what if you do
that and then you really get off and
then that’s your thing
and i was like i don’t want to carry
that the rest of my life if like
you know what i’m saying like you open
that door and that could be something
that i
she has it she had that kink and i was
like man if i
if i engage in that and it’s like really
good now i gotta carry that
that’s my new new cross as you might say
that i gotta carry the rest of my life
so i don’t do it you cross
them the only way you can get off is if
you’re holding a knife to a chick’s
throat dude it might well come on i mean
be honest with yourself it might be
awesome
it might be like the new like time down
like throw them around have a nice
like that might be the the truest
most natural uh you know your your cat
that got out
feeling i might i might find the meaning
to the world to the universe
and now i gotta like deal with that the
rest of my life
yeah i mean
yeah i think i i don’t see anything
wrong with that
personally as long as it’s just within
the realm of
fantasy like okay well let’s put it this
way we had only gone on one date
so it’s not like i’ve been with this
chick three years and i knew that we
were probably going to be together a
while
and i wasn’t going to have to explain
this in a month to the next chick i’m
dating
you know what i mean like that
might not last you don’t explain
anything you just do it you just
one day like you start dating a new
chick and then one day you just walk
into the room with the knife and you
should
start going at it you just go in there
with a ski mask and whatever
that’s true that’s that’s very true but
like
you know it’s so complicated because
then when she brought that up like oh
this is what i like
um but you don’t know what else okay so
we dated we went on one date and she
brought up she likes this
you know she’s harboring more and i
don’t want to be i don’t want to be the
guy that’s tied down with my ass in the
air
and a giant butt plug coming at me like
okay baby if this is what you like
you know what i mean like if that was
her if that was her entrance fee
like who knows what the main attraction
is
you know what i’m saying like so yeah i
didn’t i didn’t go through with it on
that one
i mean yeah but it might have been fun
dude like what
all right you’re into water painting
right yeah yeah
yeah what if she like wanted to take
some toothbrushes and like brush your
ass
or something weird like that that
wouldn’t be too bad that might be
ticklish
yeah yeah well i’m not i’m just saying
what happened
i’m not maybe i should have gone for it
maybe i should have gone full force and
like
i should have gone in like uh like jason
voorhees style
you know i wouldn’t i mean
here’s the thing i think with me it
would be like a fun experience and stuff
but i think
the difference between you and me is i’m
more of a
a subtle down type so i just ease back
into the regular sex and just
use the the kinky [ __ ] for my spank bank
yeah well i’m not saying i want to do it
but
again she had a kid she wasn’t married
so she’s prone to like
getting pregnant and then not having a
out so like there’s a lot of issues
around it that
yeah but yeah no it was it was enticing
i i’m i mean it was enticing and i
i still wonder about it and it wouldn’t
this something i might do but that
that situation was a no-go well
i think what would have probably been
the best situation for that is if you
would
and then the kid saw you was it a boy
oh yeah i was a boy i never met him but
yeah
he saw you trying to stab his mom as he
thought it
and uh at that point you’re just the
enemy
no matter what you do he just walks in
in the middle of the night
sees you doing that she ends it
and from that point on you know you’re
just the guy that tried to kill his mom
and he holds
a grudge he’d be like traumatized
he’d grow up and be like uh i don’t even
know
like every every chick that he gets with
he would inherit that
sickness from you and he’d have to hold
the knife to a chick
in order to like build something
so yeah that’s what i’m worried about
because i’ve done like the tying up and
you know the
somewhat biting and you know like the
normal stuff but
yeah i don’t know man what if you found
something in yourself
just like i don’t know
you can discover things about yourself
that maybe once you uncover you can’t
recover very easily
so yeah i was a little i was tentative
on that one
you just didn’t want that innocence to
die that innocence of yours
and i guess the problem is that i can
understand
what that would open yeah that what what
door that would open
and what i’m capable of and
yeah i don’t know you know rapists and
murderers and people guys start
somewhere you gotta start that cat
that dog i saw that cat and i said um i
don’t know
maybe i won’t kill that cat i’m not
gonna chase it
yeah i don’t know
okay if you were if you were a rapist
where do you think you would be stalking
your prey at
would you go like the universities and
just watch them leave like the library
at them
late at the night and just drag them in
all right let me tell you a little
something about myself here
so last night i had some really good
dreams um
one of involving scarlett johansson but
that’s something else
anyways in my dream last night i was at
like a
uh it’s kind of like a college campus
tons of people this is like
pre-coveted amount of people you know
like bustling university
plaza amount of people and i was looking
for hot chicks going around
you know doing what i do in my dreams
and the
bunch of like 10 or 12 of these girls
all wearing like yellow bathing suits
one piece like they’re like a swim team
start taking off and then they invite me
into the locker room
so yeah i’d probably start at university
or something
i don’t know because i’m already having
these like weird dreams like that
like fall on the swim team into the
locker room
yeah i mean that’s pretty innocent you
got a a porky’s level of
perversity i mean at least it’s not like
your ted bundy
no no well no
not yet if you would have slept with
that chick you’d be doing some ted bundy
[ __ ] look i’m just saying there’s doors that
you can open you can’t close again
yeah i guess i could see that like if
you experience something and it’s just
the best thing in
your life you’re like it’s like a heroin
addict you’re always chasing the next
best high you’re not actually doing it
just to get
high you’re trying to get that better
high
exactly well and all again it’s that
situation i didn’t say never
i don’t see with any girl i’m just
saying in that situation i said no
because also
i only went on one date and actually the
first date she wanted netflix and chill
and that was before i knew what netflix
and chill was so we actually watched
netflix
that was our first date so like you have
to
to to simulate that
experience with somebody you don’t even
know that opens the door further like if
you’ve been with the chick
years and you’re like comfortable and
you know it’s like that’s
that’s different than doing it to like a
near stranger you know what i mean
yeah that’s knowing somebody for years
and years is like
years and years removed from
like a rape experience but if you do it
to somebody you barely know i mean
that’s like one step from like doing
somebody that you don’t know right
so if i’m to garner anything from what
you’re saying is
saying that ted bundy flew too close to
the sun
ted bunny was like your cat man
yeah i mean essentially he was i saw
this video
a movie a long time ago about ted bunny
and the one
thing that like i’ve never been into
serial killers
and the last podcast that i was like a
guest on
but i mean you consider like killing
people right
uh no i mean i’ve written like
extreme horror and stuff like once and
you know that that kind of thing just
isn’t for me necessarily
like i don’t know how how to explain it
um so you don’t ever you don’t you don’t
like uh you don’t play on that fantasy
field ever
the fantasy that i go with it typically
is with me
if i do not feel erotic i’m not telling
erotic i’m just saying yeah
you don’t ever play on that field and
your fantasies no
like the well like the fantasy that i
typically have is like me saving the day
like the people that i kill are bad
people and i’m just like a badass hero
and in reality a dexter style
yeah like you know i walk into a bank
and there’s like some you know
it’s like patrick swayze and his surfer
gang are just there in presidential
masks
and i walk in like a badass you know
pull out a
shotgun from my uh for my trench coat
and just start popping off caps and
doing karate cakes and stuff
and in reality i would just be on this
floor snobbling like a little [ __ ] but uh you know
those are the typically the types of
fannies fantasies that i have like i’m
badass people look at me as a badass and
stuff and then
uh and then in reality i know that i’d
be on the floor like
next to the bank manager crying
you know as patrick swayze is like
coming up with his blonde hair just
like getting ready to put a cap in my
ass like that
i think every guy has those moments
where they
you either picture killing someone out
of like revenge or
whatever or being a hero you have you
play these scenarios in your head and i
think that’s normal
but most of us can’t live up to it
are you sure uh i’m pretty sure i mean i
could
i i think that one maybe not the bank
robbery but like no
but like i mean like have i like
breaking into someone’s house and just
like
you know doing a health or skelter on
them just pulling out a knife and just
killing them
uh i mean that could be done easily
especially if you pick your victim um
you know you make sure your victim’s
weaker than you are that could be done
easily
but i just i’ve never really thought
about that one
i don’t know i’m pretty much a
i don’t know man i’m like a pretty
i guess pretty empathetic for the most
part so
i don’t really go down like the dark
paths and stuff like that dark journeys
yeah like
when i we like we’re both fans of
richard layman and stuff and
some people live part of the richard
layman group
and some people will talk about how he’s
scary and stuff and the funny thing is
is when i read richard
i think he’s hilarious like oh yeah it’s
it reads like a cartoon
yeah exactly and i’ve tried to read more
extreme people
like uh this dude named wrath james
white and stuff and
it’s just too extreme to me because the
horror is not there it’s not campy
so it comes off as just like
extreme for the sake of being extreme
and i i just don’t get on board with
that
like i can read about um like in body
ride
i think we talked about that scene where
that chicks in the bathtub and
the murder stuff like soap in her mouth
and stuff and she’s all tied up and
bloody and stuff and i can
picture something like that because it’s
it’s fake
and it to me it’s just a funny death
scenario
but yeah i see it the same way that’s
funny that we see it both as
cartoony because i can almost like
imagine like the characters are like
jessica rabbit type of characters or
something like yeah these fantasies that
are like
clearly cartoon and like hilarious so
yes i know what you’re saying when
they’re pinned up and stuff
yeah like kind of funny yeah
have you read endless night yeah yeah
yeah like i read that one and i gave it
to a friend
and she started reading it oh but i had
kids so like
you should have given that one out yeah
well i mean
i gave it i gave it to her and she read
it while she was house-sitting her
brother’s house
and she had to stop reading it because
she said it was so scary and i’m like
are you reading the same [ __ ] book
that i’m reading because this
is hilarious like yeah it reads like it
reads like nightmare on elm street kind
of
where it’s like yeah exactly he he was
so pulpy and
so great and he had he was able to take
like these
really horrible situations where people
are like facing the worst
[ __ ] [ __ ] in the world and yet make
it funny
and yeah well it’s because the
characters the main characters usually
have a sense of humor about from what’s
happening to some
extent dude you know i’ll be perfectly
perfectly honest with you on this when i
first started reading layman i would
read him on the bus
in portland and like no joke dude i
would start like getting to his sex
scenes and i’d start popping boners
yeah yeah he can do that yeah you can’t
help it because you start
building these characters in your mind
you start picturing the women a certain
way
and it’s not even probably like how he
would picture him but you know you just
start using your own imagination and
then as it starts coming around it
like looks like life and you’re just
like boeing
you know yeah because you see he’s super
pervy yeah
and that’s what’s so great about him i
think his most pervy book in my opinion
is probably island
oh yeah yeah yeah actually so i i liked
you know like i’m a fan of laymen and my
mom was interested and i was like
mom don’t don’t bother you know like
this is not it’s not your style and she
tried to read the island as her intro to
layman
and she actually she said she enjoyed it
up until
somewhere towards the end where the
girls actually get kidnapped and things
uh yeah but that’s the most sexual yeah
no i know i know but she made it feel
like the first pervy
where it’s like this team boy writing
about his
you know these spanish girls yeah these
bikini girls around them
yeah well and like
without going into like you know ruining
the plot for any
listener that might want to pick it up
you would
we would both put our stamp of approval
of reed island if you want to read a
funny pervy basically gilligan’s island
with a torturous murderer right
well i mean for a non-initiate that’s
not the book i’d choose
yeah which one would you throw in
um either
so there’s one and i can’t remember the
title but it’s about a librarian who
discovers she finds like an envelope
with money and like a
task and it starts taking is that yeah
the funny thing is that one called in
the dark it’s called in the dark there
we go okay yeah
so that’s that’s a real good one because
number one the main character
is a female of age who voluntarily
involves herself in it uh
also traveling vampire show only because
that’s won so many awards that seems to
be a very
even though it does have sexual stuff in
it it still seems to be one of his more
tame ones
yeah it’s kind of like i’ve heard it
described as kind of like his
uh stand by me yeah
if you could even yeah like that that
ending of traveling vampire show though
dude that was
a twist that i did not see coming it was
awesome
yeah it was awesome also the you know
some of his other ones that are more
supernatural like
the mummy one what was it like amara
what i can’t remember i don’t know
amira or it was also called uh
and i don’t know the the american title
is different i don’t remember what it’s
called in the american
america another vamp there’s another
vampire one
of them i don’t know i can’t remember
there’s so many books i get their titles
all get mixed up but
yeah those are one of the ones i would
start with ones that have full adult
or all the characters are adults and the
people
that get involved are usually by their
own admission
involved yeah yeah i guess that makes
sense i
i think i would recommend uh
like my girlfriend’s dad
recently i think he wandered onto my
bookshelf
and started looking at him because he
was like oh i saw you have a book on uh
on um
jack the ripper and i immediately was
like
oh you’re thinking of richard lehman
savage
and so i would say for someone who loves
westerns probably savage
uh body rides i would say is another
good one for
someone to jump in with yeah but that
has such high sexuality through the
whole thing yeah
with the one girl i forget the one girl
involved how old she is but
i i think she’s actually kind of like
late teens if i remember yeah so maybe
she’s developed so yeah she’s like
she’s like an 18 year old waitress that
he picks yeah she’s a waitress that’s
right
yeah uh
[ __ ] there’s there are some i would not
recommend as a first
a first go at like the seller no um
the seller was probably the hardest one
for me to read because
that one does have some you know it’s
just it goes into it
it’s it’s man i don’t know how i don’t
know how that got published as his first
book
i don’t know how you got the balls to
even write that
and just anybody that listens the seller
has
an incidence he doesn’t glorify it he
doesn’t but it does have
a a pedophile in it so
yeah yeah he it’s it’s something but uh
yeah i guess for the nominee i would
probably go with your choices like
probably night in the low
or uh night in the lonesome october is a
good one yeah that’s my favorite one
yeah that’s one of my favorites too um
but again it has like the gay guy that
gets beat up and like it has
the librarian one if i remember just has
the least amount of
kinky sex yeah and come on it’s also
more like a mystery like i think that
one would probably grab female writers
more or readers more yeah
yeah so pro i’m probably with you on
that one probably in the dark
they also made a movie that i have um
i’ll have to send you a link because
they have it on youtube
of in the dark it was just like an
independent film that they made back in
like the 90s
uh oh really yeah i’ve got it on dvd
before they put it up on youtube why am
i imagining like a goosebump movie
no it’s it’s actually pretty it’s
actually shot pretty well
like it they actually did a pretty good
job for being super low budget like it
was just
college students but they did a pretty
good job and they
actually captivated most of the movie
like they kind of butchered some things
but
it i feel like it had more to do with
budget than anything
but they actually did a pretty good job
um
y’all have to give it a watch yeah it’s
a good
at least a few minutes of watch
yeah i’m the the beginning of it is
actually
to the book so um
have you ever read darkness tell us yeah
yeah yeah we do all right huh yeah the
ouija
board yeah i loved that one dude like
it was jus that one i heard described as
like a scooby-doo mission
um yeah and like i started
one of the good things about layman is
he can get you to start laughing your
ass off at
stupid [ __ ] like his characters i love
his characters
like they go often it’s about these
college kids that
you know play this ouija board as you
know and it pretty much tells them that
there’s this treasure up in the
mountains in california
in this forest and they go there and
then there’s like this
psychopathic bodybuilder and a speedo
and sunglasses
that’s watching him swim and he like
kidnaps the women and goes to this cave
well and that doesn’t have that doesn’t
have to
the ouija board that guy was well we
don’t want to go too much into it but
yeah but it was completely unrelated
yeah yeah it’s like it’s like two events
could converge
yeah and then the the professor because
the kids played
on the ouija board at a professor’s
house they just happen to be hanging out
with like
hanging out with your you know older
professor
female professor i mean hanging out with
a male professor might be pretty cool
but hanging out with an older female
professor and her fiance like that’s
going to be cool
you know but then the the professor and
the fiance go looking for the kids
because they went to go look for the
treasure and
there’s this big-ass bodybuilder just
wandering around
kidnapping the women and stuff no all
offices are good like
sunland and quake and stuff i mean those
are all awesome
oh yeah he’s got like 20 something
27 books and i read most of them i don’t
think i’ve ever read fiend
oh there’s another one called beware
that i don’t think i read but it was
like a novella
or uh something shorter i don’t think it
was very long like 107. beware
wasn’t that great to me that it’s
actually like yeah that’s why
that’s why i heard that yeah and i
haven’t read that but i think i’ve read
most everything
he wrote yeah i’ve still got a
couple more like i’ve got after midnight
and uh oh what was the one where
where that that kid that like ernie
weird kid at school and he like brings a
girl back from the dead for his science
fair project
yeah resurrection dreams oh man that’s a
good one i forgot about that one just
kind of as we’re talking like came back
and i started this memory of like that
resurrected chick and stuff that was a
good that was a cool one that was a good
premise
yeah and the cool thing about layman is
he
always like with his resurrection dreams
it’s a zombie story but it’s not about
zombies his vampire stories
aren’t even about vampires like i don’t
know if you’ve read the state
like you mentioned but the stake is
about an author
who goes into the desert and uh
with some friends that go to this ghost
town and they stumble upon this uh
casket with a lady’s body in it that has
a stake in her chest
i do remember that yeah and the whole
point of the book is what happens when
we pull out the stake and it’s one of
his slowest moving books but that was
the first one i ever read of his
and i just thought it was so unique
because he writes about
things that that aren’t you know
like yeah traveling vampire show
it’s not really about vampires if you
read it
but the first thing i wrote his was uh
friday night at beast house at the beast
house yes real short novella one like
yeah that was the first time i read his
i haven’t read that one is it good
yeah yeah the whole beast house series
is awesome and this
friday night at beast house is like the
very last one it was kind of a
standalone
it didn’t i mean involved those some of
the story but it was a short like a
novella
but you know i’ve been reading you know
normal fiction
like dances with wolves and like
crichton sphere and just like very
traditional and then i i found that book
friday night beast house i was like
what the [ __ ] like books can be like
this why is nobody else doing this you
know what i mean
yeah that’s how i found layman myself
was just in the
bookstore looking at like the horror
section and i was looking for something
super unique
because i was tired of just reading like
you know everybody reads stephen king
everybody you know and if you’ve seen
his movies you pretty much read the book
and yeah though i was looking for
something unique and i just remember
seeing the title the steak and i pulled
it out and had
such a cheesy 80s cover and then i read
the back premise
and i was like i gotta read this and it
was 500 pages and i was
as soon as i got in i was hooked like
from beginning to end and so
richard layman i i recommend him
wholeheartedly to
anybody that likes the old 80s slashers
because that’s pretty much what he wrote
except for it was just funny and it’s
super pervy
yeah it’s it’s almost like uh
it’s almost like my dreams at night yeah
it’s like it’s like the
director of friday the night the 13th or
um or the halloween series
got together with uh and i know you
haven’t yeah
exactly got together with porkys
that’s actually like the best
description in the world now that i
think about it
it’s like a combination between friday
the 13th and porky’s
so if you if you like those just pick up
richard layman and
your heart will be completely satisfied
that’s the pop you’ll pop boners on
buses yep
exactly dude uh yeah
if only i mean granted i wouldn’t want
to see all my family members slaughtered
and all that stuff but sometimes it
would be really nice if like a richard
layman
novel was actually like if that’s how
life was it would make it yeah cause
it’s [ __ ] exciting
yeah you never know what’s gonna happen
next and
dude it’s too bad he died imagine what
he would be writing now i wonder if he
would have cucked out to like
uh the sjws and stuff and started
writing softer [ __ ] probably not because his fan base was in
the uk he never was big
here from where i can tell or what they
say
so no i think over there they they would
have still hold strong too
yeah give me the door he’s also got
enough fans i think he would have
probably
just kept up with doing i hope he didn’t
have kicked out because
like it would suck if he was alive and
then they’d and then he’s
you know just started
cow towing to the to you know the
cancel culture and just being like oh
i’m going to take this stuff out
because that’s not nice i’m going to
start putting you know
i’m going to start um putting more
yeah he would have dropped all the any
other he probably would have dropped a
lot of the gay stuff
like the facts he could even write [ __ ] and like [ __ ] and
he probably would have dropped that yeah
he probably would have he would have
dropped that i still think he would
still be more interesting
a lot of the writers that are coming out
i bet he would i bet he would have
hopped on this trans
bandwagon but taking the the dark paths
with it
i think so talk about the bodybuilder in
the woods with his
cheetah mankini on it would have been
like a hermaphrodite or like
some trans person like instead of
wearing like a
yeah like wearing like a um a loincloth
and just like you could see the [ __ ] and
ball bouncing around as
the running around well because he did
play and
he did play in like the area of like
perverted disgust like there were
definitely
scenes in books where it’d be like an
older woman that’s trying to do a young
kid and he talks about how like gross
and saggy and like
you know she’s just like so eager for
his [ __ ] and stuff so
i’m sure he would have he would have
explored that even further like the
with the traversion discussion
yeah i could see that that’s hard to
know like he could have made movies and
that would have
dramatically altered things so who knows
that’s
yeah dude you’re i i think you got to
get
like pick up his mantle and write the
[ __ ] killer
you got it like oh maybe
because one of your your early writings
were kind of more along the lines of
layman right
like the horror yeah yeah the first book
i wrote
i put it in the layman facebook group
and they booted me out
i was like because i wrote it and i like
had dedicated to
him so i put in that group and they
didn’t they banned me
yeah a lot of those groups are gay dude
i’ve met so many people
in that group that are just [ __ ] gay
like
i i would be surprised if richard layman
would actually
like count them as fans like that’s one
thing i hate
about like uh the horror community i’m
not talking the writing community and
stuff but they act all hardcore
and especially the writers they’ll get
like these black and white photos where
they look all hardcore
and stuff but then they [ __ ] about all
these like just
someone putting a book in a group you
know they can’t even hang one it wasn’t
like i just dropped the book i like
i put like you know that i was a fan and
that’s why i dedicated the book to him
and i
and you know i attempted my best at uh
doing something like him so i don’t know
yeah
that’s stupid like to me
i i don’t know man like i i think that
i get it because you know that group had
a lot of if if every follower did that
the whole page would just be people’s
books so i mean i understand on one hand
but
yeah but i’ve also been a part of that
same group and they don’t it’s not like
they get post after post after post
so i don’t know
but yeah i know that first book i tried
to
was a attempt at some manner of
replication
very much though and then the next one
was not it still had
you know had my sensibilities which i
like playing them but the first one was
definitely where i was trying
attempting something like that yeah yeah
i’ll have to ask you in private because
i know that those are under
like given name i think right uh yeah
yeah so i have to ask you in private
which one that is um
how did you get into the comedy writing
um so i started the bridget chase
because i wrote i wrote those like
uh two novels and like that i don’t know
which that third one
i don’t know if it was novel length it
was like 40 000 words but
so i wrote four things horror and then
uh you know when you write something and
you don’t get that many sales
i had a few but like not that many so i
was like well
i put all this effort i’m gonna just try
and make money and then i try to write
really sexual things as a woman
using chase that’s where the name came
from and i tried to like market to dudes
on facebook but all they wanted to do
was get pictures of me
they never they wouldn’t buy but they
like they’d play kate like oh yeah baby
i’ll buy but you got some pictures
so that didn’t work out and then i had
the book i had two books banned
and then after that i was like well [ __ ] all this i’m gonna write some crazy ass
stuff and that’s kind of where that
started whereas like i’m going to write
for the entertainment of the moment of
writing
so if it just bends sideways at a dime
that’s just how it’s going to be
and that’s where it started did you ever
read
bizarro before you started writing like
the crazy show
no i didn’t even know it was a thing
yeah they know things after i wrote a
while and
somebody yeah somebody messaged me and
said something about bizarro fiction i
was like
oh this has a name i just thought i was
doing random [ __ ] like
yeah and where did you get the name
hindi
like when i first stumbled onto you i
was like is this dude like really
african or something is he taking like
some weird like
harambe that thing where did him be come
from
um baby fiction so i used to
i don’t really do it much anymore i used
to make a weird names just for
i had two dogs and one was beeble and
the other was gilly
um and then i don’t know i was i’d make
up these random names and
himby was one of them that i used to
like so i just i was like well if
this was before i knew about bizarro or
anything and so i was like i’m just
making up my own my own new uh
uh what would you call that genre
yeah yeah like a genre so i was like i’m
gonna call it him be but
and then i used it for a while but i
stopped because then i found out there’s
a hindi ice cream
thing like a it’s like an ice cream
brand called himbi
and i was like well and there’s also
like a writer and his last name is him b
and i was like well i don’t want to get
mixed up all with i don’t want to be
mixed up with this dude in ice cream so
i kind of dropped it and just went to
celebrity sparkle trash
well i thought i thought there’d be like
you know i thought i could come with
like a new kind of a new genre or new
something
it’s just kind of bizarro mixed with i
don’t give a [ __ ] like basically i think it’s even less it
cares even less than bizarro
because some of my stories just really
take weird turns
because i’m bored while i’m writing it
and i think you know that i get bored
while i’m writing so i just like
i’ll just change everything on a dime
just because
i’m bored and i don’t care what you feel
when you read it
well i think that’s one of the reasons i
like you is because
like you and i have different kind of
paths
like i i’ve when i found layman that’s
when i discovered bizarro and i got
involved in the bizarro scene and i
thought it was just going to be a bunch
of cool people
talking about writing weird stuff and it
just turned out to be a bunch of people
bitching about [ __ ] but
that’s facebook well no you said you
went to did you go to cons or like
yeah i went to a convention but the
funny thing is is when i went to that
convention
after i left there was this big ordeal
about this
uh dude um basically
the story is is that he stalked this
chick and then
what i heard from the other side you
know someone who was defending him was
that he wasn’t stalking her it was like
this big thing
but then like a couple years later at
another convention that i didn’t go to
as soon as the convention was over they
pretty much tried to
uh blacklist this writer because of a
they have this thing called the bizarro
showdown and
this dude had a he
wrote a book for this press called
deadite press
and his name is chandler morrison so if
you want to go and look into that you
can it’s pretty easy to find out what
happened but essentially what happened
was he talked to the editor of
um that i pressed and he was like okay
so here’s what we’re gonna do
i’m gonna do a performance piece and he
he comes from an extreme horror
background so he’s not 100
sure about the uh bizarro showdown
so he’s like thinking that it was a
gross out thing like making people
grossed out
yeah that’s a good part of it so he took
he took a
baby a baby doll
and a dildo basically strap-on or
something like that
and put blood on the baby and
simulated sex with it because that’s a
scene from his book
now make way of that you will but the
pro
problem that i had with it was okay yeah
it’s weird
yeah i wouldn’t feel necessarily
comfortable with that if i had been
there
but i wouldn’t be bitching about it and
calling for his book to be taken down
and the reason the re the people people
at the show it was said that they
applauded and laughed
but it was people online and that called
for his head
when they found out about it and the
main reason was because
they because of the blood they assumed
that the baby was black
and so because it was a person of color
essentially
they were calling for him to be just cut
off and stuff
and i’ve said this in private
discussions with authors well
the the [ __ ] part about it is social
justice
won the day people that were laughing
and applauding it
they went into the comments and they
were like oh yeah at the time i
you know uh laughed but i also felt
really uncomfortable and blah blah blah
blah and now they’re hiring security for
any future convention that bizarro’s
dead dude it’s a dead
genre nobody’s going to go to that
[ __ ] convention because they’re all a
bunch of [ __ ] wieners
but that’s so dumb because the premise
of bizarro
is an element of surprise
or shock or contention
and so they i mean i get that they might
not have known what they were going to
see
when they went there but that’s the
arena they entered into that was sort of
the point
is that they might not know what they’ll
encounter and then they got freaked out
and then they don’t like it
yeah then they they [ __ ] got uh the dude’s book pulled
from dead i press and then the the
editor of dedic press who’s a super
liberal
uh he ended up getting fired
for that okay yeah and
um when they let him go he explained it
the people that because the people that
own deadeye press also own eraserhead
press
and it’s all under one umbrella and they
do this convention in portland
and uh funny because if like shiloh buff
had done something like that under the
premise of art people have been like
oh wow it’s so are you so impressed it
would have been like on the squier
magazine
cover well like you know and the funny
thing is as i always explain it and i
get the feeling that on this next
podcast because i do have some
acts to grind with like the writing
community not too much but
as the people that i uh
have invited me on to this other podcast
you can talk about writing community i
just
when i said we shouldn’t talk about i
just meant it shouldn’t be like our
focus of
now well it’s not going to be like this
this is pretty much just
um
the the one thing that i’ve always said
about this
this situation with this chandler
morrison guy was
uh
was basically that he should have said
that they
he should have stood by what he said and
this is why i’m
i’m listing this because anything
we’re probably not going to get a lot of
listeners but the listeners that we get
i’m not going to retract what i say i’m
not going to apologize for what you say
we’re going to stand by what we say and
if someone finds out who the [ __ ] i am
i’m not gonna apologize for something
that i said and
this is why i make this point this dude
should have
stood by what he said and
or did in his performance and i the way
that i’ve always said it to people was
he should have just said
you just don’t understand the metaphor i
was
participating as the part of a colonizer
and the baby
represented africa that was the white
man [ __ ] over
africa and um
really it was just it was just painting
to look like blood and people were
making a big deal about it being a
person of color and because they’re a
bunch of [ __ ] [ __ ] you know i mean i don’t think he should
have defended himself in any fashion at
all
oh he went on after a while and he was
like i
have sat back i’ve looked at the
comments and i sincerely apologize and
you know what they didn’t [ __ ] care
they didn’t [ __ ] care and that’s what
happened because they clearly weren’t
his fans to begin with so he should have
just
dusted himself off never apologized
never even made a
he shouldn’t even post anything to try
to validate what he did he’s just
brushed off
whatever people are still following him
keep those and others that are pissed
let them
go without their life being pissed well
the odd part is is
he got [ __ ] cancer and he’s been
battling cancer and
ever since he got cancer people are all
super sympathetic and it’s just like it
just shows you how [ __ ] fake people
are
yeah so i don’t know but
yeah we’re not going to talk too much
about the writing community because they
don’t really matter but
you know it’s like any community on
facebook it’s just any community
have you ever experienced that in the
action figure community
um no because like
everything i do on social i kind of take
what i want and i don’t get involved in
things i don’t want to be involved in
yeah so i’m sure it happens there’s
people i’ve seen you know you see posts
where
somebody posts something and somebody’s
like i just i don’t even read it like i
take
i try to be careful what i follow and
then
i try to take what i like out of what
their content and then when people are
doing their bitching i don’t even get
involved
i don’t read it yeah they’re upset about
it like i i’m a picture guy
on the on my social so you know i follow
toys so i don’t care about what people
are saying
unless if it’s like oh look at this toy
and this is when it was made or
something but
yeah it’s a very visual thing so i just
yes it
it does happen i don’t know how much
i’ve definitely seen where something
you can see the heat you like read
something like uh well
yeah somebody’s mad about something yeah
that that’s kind of where i’m at man
like i barely get on facebook like i
said the last time it’s just
really to get on there to see if
you’ve messaged me if my brother’s
messaged me and now uh this other
dude uh zack mcgaha another
writer messages me but that’s pretty
much it
other than that i’m not on there like
well even on tick tock like these kids
they try to pull me into stuff
they’ll like tag me in their videos
where they’re like go get them
toy team or battle team or whatever they
call us and then they message me like
hey this this person said this to me
about toys i’m like
i’m an adult man i’m not getting
involved in this stuff yeah
i mean but isn’t there other adults in
the action figure
kind of community there are but like i
said my content of playing with them
seems to draw 13 and under so it’s like
a self-defeating there’s no
like on youtube i can’t make it i can’t
put videos and then try to make it uh
monetary or anything and i don’t know
building a following of like 10 year old
boys on tick tock
just there’s just no drive that’s why
i’ve been posting there yeah
it just seems like i keep thinking okay
well
once i get to this number of followers
even though they’re young it’ll start to
spread to older but i think tick tock
knows who to show it to now so i’m just
getting all more and more kids and it’s
yeah but i mean about that if you could
still build that audience here’s the
thing dude
it’s you just gotta find that platform
because obviously it’s not easy building
up
10 000 followers especially when you
when you don’t care like you you don’t
care if you get like 10 000 followers
but
you’re you’re still doing it with just
showing these simple videos i think it’s
been worse since i had i think it was
better when i had 100
yeah but i mean if you if you put the
creativity into it
like there’s people uh my kids for
example like this
dude who plays games with his son and
this guy’s got the most annoying [ __ ] voice in the world like
if i saw this guy i’d probably want to
strangle him because he’s just
so that old friend remember that kid
that was like popular a while ago with
like that oh yeah
yeah hi yeah
hi i’m fred
[Music] yeah that that [ __ ] was annoying yeah i
remember that guy
he go i mean oh go ahead oh he got
famous for a while though
yeah he did he made like two movies and
then he probably
got on cocaine or crack and did himself
in or something
yeah put a gun to his head my
my balls aren’t dropping and my voice is
gonna sound the same
forever you know well he was part of
disney right it was disney that helped
him
i think nico well either one
either one clearly has a system of
making people lose their minds once they
get of
older than 20. yeah
yeah um but i mean
think about it man to be famous just for
that little bit of time and
taste all the fruits of the world might
be depends i’m
i’m not sure fame is a one
a one what would you call it like
there’s i think there’s a lot of
varieties of it
like you said this guy that he had his
book taken down and like
that guy fired and then like there’s all
kinds of varieties of it so it kind of
depends what variety fred had
if he had the good kind where he can
like go bang chicks if you have the bad
kind where he’s like the president
in like a hotel room in a city he
doesn’t know
you know yeah but you know the funny
thing is
if i was a teenager like say in new york
and
i was making like a big budget movie and
i was just in my hotel room and stuff
see my mind i’d be one of those people
that would lose their minds because
my mind would be like you know what i
know that
for a fact there are there are
[ __ ] hookers in this city there’s
cocaine in this city
and i’ve got a [ __ ] ton of money oh
you’re gonna do the hugh grant
yeah exactly didn’t he uh
was it like a his wife was elizabeth
hurley right
yeah yeah it’s a shame to know it
because she wouldn’t blow him so he paid
some black chick to blow him
yeah it was like some fat black chick
right yeah well i don’t think he i don’t
think it was the looks that drew
drew him too i’m sure it’s because
elizabeth hurley’s like i’m too good to
blow
if you’re hugh grant and you got the
money why pay
why pay like yeah i almost said why pay
a black chick
but you know you could at least pay a a
hot black chick because i think i
remember seeing like a picture of this
chick because
wasn’t she like a like a housekeeper or
some crap
yeah i don’t know much about it i just
know that it crushed my dreams elizabeth
hurley doesn’t blow yeah well like uh
arnold schwarzenegger doing the house
the
housekeeper getting that chick knocked
up i know it shows you man even if you
have money
and you’re famous it doesn’t mean once
you’re with a chick things can still be
real [ __ ] yeah oh yeah money doesn’t buy happiness
what buys happiness is money and
singleness
not even that yeah would you
would you consider yourself a generally
happy person
uh most of the time until like bosses
tell me i got an unreasonable amount of
paperwork that’s impossible to do
by a due date that isn’t gonna happen
well i got
i got a couple criticisms from
the few people that listened uh okay
cool
and i always like christmas they’re
better than when people kiss your ass
well
here here’s what they said and i think
yours is a little bit better they said
on the first episode
you sounded depressed and i sounded like
i was trying to be
cool oh
yeah i probably yeah a little bit true
yeah but it’s it’s not that i’m
depressed
across the board but there are certain
things that if you bring up i’m just i’m
not
excited about like if you bring up
tick-tock and like my toy playing
like that it’s not exciting for me i
mean i do it and i’m kind of not doing
it much anymore but
yeah yeah i noticed that and i think i
think they could just hurt my
interests but yeah well there’s just
some [ __ ] that you know we’re gonna talk
about at times where you’re just gonna
check out and then there’s things that
you’ll say
especially if this goes on for a while
you know it could just be
us being two buddies just looking to
connect in a
i guess i kind of thought that’s what
we’re already doing we weren’t
on the same page then well well
like my hope would be that this would
like turn into to something but i mean
we’re the market for podcasts is so uh
saturated maybe
there are there are celebrities there’s
jack black right now making podcasts
every
[ __ ] day yeah i mean i guess the
likelihood we do one a week
and we’re like anything to listen to
yeah
i mean you gotta stop acting so cool man
that’s
you guys stop being cool and i gotta get
more excited about things
yeah so how do we do that like how do
you talk
like you’re more excited and how do i
talk
we don’t we don’t change yeah
you thought we you just be yourself if
people think i’m depressed and you’re
trying to be cool
yeah awesome i like the criticism it’s
like it says better than somebody like
kisses their ass well didn’t they say
you know i’ve heard you’ve have you ever
heard of coach redpool
coach who red pill
oh red pill uh no but i know what he’s
talking about by the red pill
yeah yeah he well he he says uh don’t be
yourself
and i think he even uses uh i think he
said
being yourself is gay or something like
that it kind of is
like yeah but then who are you going to
be
instead you’re going to just you’re just
going to like um
mimic some other person that’s being
themself that’s gay so it’s kind of gay
all around i guess
yeah yeah it is
when i went and looked at the the
youtube content of the person who
created or criticized me trying to sound
cool and it was like
yeah maybe i don’t maybe i’m trying to
sound
a little cool i don’t know i think i’m
talking normal but at least i don’t
sound like
this you know like the typical youtuber
hey everybody it’s the dick and the wiz
and we’re here dude you should just try
to talk even more cool
so okay what’s that pickle man all right
like dude i totally get what you’re
saying
you’re like hitting me with some
knowledge i don’t i don’t know what’s
cool anymore like
we’re in our 30s we’re in our mid 30s so
what’s the point of trying to be cool
we’re
yeah i’m trying to think of what even
like a cool voice would be right now
probably matching mcconaughey it would
be kind of like this
is it where you at the end you raise
your voice like it’s a question
no i think that that’s condescending i
think that that’s condescending and
[ __ ] personally like
that’s like talking down to someone like
you don’t really understand
what i’m talking about see i don’t even
know what a cool voice is in
um i don’t know don’t worry about it
i hope we get i hope we get 200 comments
of hate
yeah awesome at least i could laugh well
the comment against me was from my own
brother so
[Laughter] well then you know then that’s a brother
just kicking you in the nuts because
he’s your brother
yeah i think i think he just thinks that
i
could go uh
go the distance and stuff he’s like you
just like his thing was um
you need to have topics you need to have
this and it’s like yeah but it’s fun if
we [ __ ] like oh man well i don’t know what you
want out of this but
man i don’t want like uh i just want to
be whatever it is like
yeah i wake up if i wake up next
saturday and
i want to talk about chipmunks and i
want to use the voice of a chipmunk
i can use i can do that like i don’t
want it to be like any kind of
yeah don’t worry don’t worry i don’t
have that desire but
yeah whatever it is i don’t think we’re
gonna get more than maybe just a few
followers anyways i i think this is
probably just more for us to just kind
of [ __ ] around
have something to do you’re wrecking my
dreams here man how am i ever going to
not be depressed
if we don’t get tons of followers well i
mean what life is for
if you go and do a kurt cobain then i’ll
have something to talk about that will
garner me some interest
yeah i hate all this depression stuff
that
is going around because even at work we
have to take like
uh courses and stuff to like make us
recognize it and other people and like
it’s so ridiculous because i think
people are so confused with like um
that like sadness is a normal emotion
it’s only depression when like
everything’s awesome in your life
and you’re still like thinking about how
you want to offer yourself and how bad
everything is
like you can’t get out of bed when you
like let’s say your dream job
your dream life and then you’re still
like can’t get out of bed that’s
depression but like
being sad or being disinterested in
things people are
automatically trying to put all so many
emotions under depression where it’s
just
emotions like you have having to come
and go all day
every day yeah i agree
i think depression is one of those
things that
there’s a lot of people that think they
have it that really don’t
yeah yeah and then because their life
sucks so like if you’re like i’m
depressed well
if your life sucks that’s probably why
but if you’re
content you have a you make a hundred
thousand a year you got a house to live
in a job that doesn’t
torture you and you’re still sad all the
time then you probably have it but
well damn dude you just described me i’m
depressed
why because you have everything a job
you like that doesn’t bother you no i
don’t
i don’t got the job that i like i don’t
make a hundred thousand dollars a year
no then i’m saying i’m saying you’re not
depressed you’re just sad because your
life sucks
oh yeah yeah okay yeah i can see that
well like i i had some low times because
i was homeless
yeah and that doesn’t make me suicidal
or depressed
it just meant everything was so shitty
it seemed like the best way out might be
getting out of it all together you know
like
dropping the game but that doesn’t mean
i’m like
you know that’s it’s not clinical
depression that’s you’re [ __ ] you know where to live you got no money
yeah so uh
oh go ahead no go ahead
you good man your thought was probably
more interesting than mine
not really i was just gonna say uh your
brother can
mind his own stuff here i hope he
doesn’t sway you i’m worried now
because you’re like oh he criticized me
and he’s telling me what to do
no we’re gonna come back to the episode
and you’re gonna be like and on this
episode our agenda
is going to be from 905 to 9 55. we’re
going to have this guest in and then
we’re going to talk about this i have an
agenda sheet here i emailed it to you
if you could take that fact set to him
and then he’ll pull it out
just send it back to me that we got it
but you got to tell me by this time that
we had it
i’m kind of scared of that now you’ll be
talking about like something that’s
actually important to you and then i’m
like hold on dick we got we gotta
mention our sponsors
exactly no dude he was just
i don’t know it doesn’t even really
matter because it’s like
this is more fun like i’m a
procrastinator anyways
so like i i wouldn’t even be able to
compile notes like i
i thought about it for a minute and i
was like why you know i could just do a
real quick internet search
and find some [ __ ] that i could bring up
if i want to bring up
i guess i guess i’m just hoping that
you’re not
you’re not trying to gear it towards
your brother
being uh liking it to being like a
follower of it
like i hope you can accept maybe he
won’t be maybe it’s not good
he will read my books every now and then
but
no i don’t i don’t really care if he
follows it i actually would prefer it if
none of my family followed it anyways
because then it’s just like i kind of
get to say whatever i want and nobody’s
got to bring that up at a
thanksgiving day you told him about it
period or like i don’t even know what
the channel well if i was worried about
him listening
and actually listening then i wouldn’t
have said oh it was my brother and i
wouldn’t have made fun of his youtube
channel
so no i’m not worried about it we’ll
keep it casual and that’s what just what
we’ll do
because i i don’t expect anything out of
this if something happened were to
happen and this became like a
we were like uh all of a sudden as big
as joe rogan that’d be cool
but if it doesn’t happen you know it’s
whatever
so i just had like a picture of like if
we got that big like you and i wouldn’t
even be friends anymore but we still be
doing the podcast just followers
professional courtesy yeah to become
like this like
underhanded like remarks to each other
well clearly we’re not friends but we’re
just trying to keep the gears going
yeah but who knows man maybe i mean
maybe that’ll happen i don’t think so
but
um i don’t know what do you want out of
this
uh nothing actually yeah
even even uh to be to be totally honest
like each episodes and maybe
even today i was like well maybe we’ll
just drop it and i’ll do it
yeah you know i think you kind of know
from
talking to me i like to kind of do
things just to see what happens just to
toss my hat in the into the bowl and
like see
what occurs after it yeah i mean
honestly the the whole reason
and you know i’ll be forthright the
whole reason that
like i would mention a podcast and a lot
of stuff isn’t because i think i’m going
to make money off of a podcast it’s
because
you’re my friend and i wanted to get to
know you a bit more than
well let’s be honest here originally we
well it’s
you’ve always wanted to do a podcast
because you thought it’d be
something you enjoy and something that
would work and i was against it
then we kind of got on board when we
decided we’re going to sell books right
yeah right and yeah
i don’t know what my hopes are in that
in that realm but
i don’t really care what happens and
we’ll see we’ll just see what it like i
said we’ll see what
they’re on my end i’m just going to see
what occurs yeah that’s kind of where
i’m at
the whole reason of this is just
basically to get to know you like
basically just have a way to [ __ ] with a friend and
you know it’s a way to pass some time
let’s see
if people listen cool if people don’t
cool
if we get bored i can’t imagine people
listening i mean people have
listened to some amount but it’s hard to
imagine but then again i listen to all
kinds of dumb [ __ ] because sometimes you
just need that dumb [ __ ] in the
background while you fill out like a
yeah or something you know
you know the funny thing is that what
you and i consider entertaining
is completely different than what other
people would consider entertaining like
uh there’s some people that could love
this
you know just being like man just
hearing these people like
talk about [ __ ] and then dude cool voice
i just can’t
i i just have to listen he’s so cool
he pauses and he says whoa and like all
this
cool if only i could i could emulate him
wait what was that an attempt at a gay
voice
that was an attempt at any kind of voice
that was off-putting
all right try try your gay i want to see
what your gay lisp
sounds like oh i’m not good at it it’s
probably gonna be that i have like one
voice all right we’ll try it
give it a shot i can’t i can’t do it now
because now i’m like laughing
just it’s like a spontaneous i’ll give
it a try
hey everyone
and now we’re gonna work out with fat
people
you know i can’t do it because like
that’s a super that’s a super gay but
then a lot of
a lot of it is like guys that just talk
like a a woman like
i can’t even do it because i don’t i
don’t pay enough attention to women to
feel
emulated yeah you know it
that’s it’s not gay people that bother
me
like i look when i lived in portland and
stuff gay people never bothered me
you know it i was always okay with it
i didn’t have a problem what bothers me
is their voice when they’re like super
effeminate
like and it’s not because that’s you
know
it’s almost like uh i knew this
this gay guy from my ex-wife
who when he moved to portland he was
kind of normal and then once he got
there he started like getting into the
scene
and like changing and starting to be a
little bit more flamboyant than he had
been
previously the problem is the caricature
it’s not even like
authentic it’s like this caricature that
they adopt
or something yeah like if you went back
to like
i don’t know i don’t even know how far
back 15
43 and there’s some closeted gay dude
you know you got to wonder if he’s
really going to talk like that
girlfriend
no no it’s a character caricature dude
it’s all
all [ __ ] it’s like just because you
you get [ __ ] in the ass by a guy
doesn’t mean that you talk like a [ __ ] no no it’s like when i was in middle
school and i was skateboarding people
didn’t think i was a cool skateboarder
until i had the right shoes
and shirts to go along with outfit you
know yeah look the part too
so did you wear the beanie uh no i
didn’t wear it
because texas is always yeah yeah it’s
not a beanie place
yeah i guess oregon there’s a little bit
more of a beanie place
for the right the baggy pants and how to
get the right vans or
dc’s or whatever yeah were you [ __ ] rocking no i never got
those because i wasn’t like
fashion aware enough i knew the pants
were baggy but i didn’t understand
there’s a certain brand
so i just got really oversized jeans
yeah that’s what i did like i i never
wore jankos because by the time i like
i’m four years behind you but by the
time that
i got to school um
in that age group trip like the
the black baggy pants with uh like the
chains on them and stuff
and uh [ __ ] goes they were too
expensive
and so i’d always like my dad i remember
distinctly we went to ross one time and
uh
he was like trying to convince me and my
brother to buy
uh pants that fit and we were like
what the [ __ ] is wrong with you like
hell no as a punishment one time
he actually uh sent me to school
dressed in tight ass wranglers a
button-up shirt with a bolo tie and
cowboy boots
oh man that’s a that’s a rough period of
life to do that in
yeah i was i was 16 at the time and i
was
like i hadn’t driven yet so i was taking
the bus
and in order to get out of it i had my
brother toss up some clothes from
our basement window and i changed out in
the cold
yeah man kids are cool they people are
like oh people are born
nice and like you know kids are so nice
man kids are
so cruel and you’d like beat that out of
them practically yeah
they gang up on anybody that’s even
slightly has something
convenient to make fun of well i mean
let’s be honest adults are the same
[ __ ] way too
yeah true true i’m just saying some
people think that humans are like
naturally
kind and loving and stuff and nah
nah we’re not no i wasn’t i wasn’t a
fashion victim
i’m always bad with fashion like i was
wearing like looney tune shirts up until
middle school until
i got made fun of enough that i was like
i guess i can’t work cartoon characters
yeah i i wore uh
because my mom was super poor my dad was
military so we kind of with him had a uh
a middle-class background but we didn’t
live with him that much
and when we did live with him he was
also kind of a cheap bastard
like he didn’t really care about like
looking fashionable or anything he was
very practical
so we didn’t really get the fruits of
that but um
your lunch box is also a survival kit
with a tent and a
yeah pretty much he’d sent us to a
[ __ ] school with mres and [ __ ] but uh
um no i wasn’t that bad but
but uh um you’re like where’s the bus
pick me up he’s like here’s your compass
north northeast 200 paces you know i’m
pretty
i’m pretty actually surprised that he
didn’t do [ __ ] like that
like uh there
he was when we were younger it’s kind of
weird because when we were young
he was super hardcore like he wasn’t
abusive towards us
but he definitely did not let us
stumble like you got three warnings and
then the belt
when you got to three you knew you were
getting the belt so you better not push
dad more than twice and his
his standard of being pushed wasn’t that
that hard
wow feels very very long order huh yeah
and you know it wasn’t bad like um
it you know it’s just the way that it
was he was raised in a different time
you know he was
uh you know pretty much a typical 80s
dad
you know they don’t put up with [ __ ] and he didn’t put up with [ __ ] and he’s probably the reason that i’m
not in prison by now
like because he he did what my ass
he did what my brothers asked but
something changed when my
youngest brother hit 15 and i was
already an adult
and i start seeing this like softer side
of my dad because you know he’s gotten
older and stuff and my
my older where my younger brother has
diabetes and some other issues and so
my dad you know we would see him like
being softer and stuff and it’s like
what the [ __ ] oh it’s because he’s older his
testosterone yeah
just has uh what do you call it yeah
i knew something was good or something
like we always had a tv
and uh in 1996 my dad got this big
screen
tv 1996 or 95 he got this big screen
boxy tv
with a big wooden frame that he was
super proud of and he had that tv
for uh i want to say
until i was about 20 and the reason that
he had it
was because he took damn care of it
because he didn’t use it
like he would watch maybe i always
remember him watching
maybe one or two shows a week like he
wasn’t a tv guy
dang my dad can i watch tv no i don’t
want to wear it out
no i want to work when i want to watch
tv exactly you’re good you’re going to
ruin the wood finish john
you’re going to ruin this and yeah
it was like that like i remember him
watching the man show a couple times and
he’d laugh and stuff
but over like the last 10 years when i
would go and visit him
he’s become a completely different man i
see him sitting there eating chocolate
we didn’t have sweets except for sweet
tea in our house
and the occasional birthday cake uh we
were allowed to eat
or drink as much water as we wanted and
we could have a cup of
sweet tea at night so do you find that
like endearing or disgusting that he’s
he’s discovered a new i don’t know a new
area of himself
or a new side of himself personally i’m
very disappointed with the man
like i i want you know the dad who
doesn’t give a [ __ ] about us
to that where you know if we [ __ ] up
he’s gonna be there to remind us that we
[ __ ] up
and now he’s become more of like
how my mom was back in uh my mom
my mom is in some ways harder than he is
okay so if you’re if you’re soft like
you are now i’m not saying like you
we’re all soft is the way we are but
like uh when you’re older think how soft
and feminine you’ll be then
if he went if he took that turn imagine
the turn we’re going to take because
we’re already kind of
we’re not social justice stuff but we’re
still softer than like your dad
so we’re going to be really effeminate
i’m going to be like
the wiz i’m going to crochet today i’m
making a beautiful
pink no i think he’s finding himself
again like
my dad uh just some background he was
with um
you know there’s a lot of people i’ve
heard a lot of people talk
like oh yeah the special forces my dad
was special for
my dad was in legit special forces he
wasn’t just like
you know um some dude
who did administrative work he was
actually on a team
potatoes special forces yeah he was the
special forces cook
he was the forces of mashed potatoes no
he was he was a met
combat medic with uh with special forces
with uh
tenth group out of fort carson colorado
and so
he was always a tough son of a [ __ ] like i wouldn’t want to fight him even
now
but i think just as he got older and you
know
the testosterone went down i think he’s
just gotten
more soft he’s not a [ __ ] but yeah like
i would i would still be afraid
even with my if my brother uh
was to join me in trying to kick my
dad’s ass i still wouldn’t do it because
i know my dad would [ __ ] us up
but see i’m looking forward to that day
when the testosterone finally
stops pumping so much imagine something
done like something of value
yeah you know well he’s just enjoying
life like he he’s uh doing boar hunting
because he’s in texas now he’s in uh
outside of dallas
on the lake and stuff and so he goes
boar hunting and all this other stuff
and he’s living the life he’s got like a
nice pool
and everything so
he’s got that life man
but uh yeah
i’m pretty sure i’ll probably because my
my kids already
get to me like i’ve only i’ve only ever
spanked
my kids once each and that was because
they just push
push push and but other than that i’m a
completely
unleash the fury yeah i’ve never
unleashed the fury on them they
they walk all over me and they’re like
oh i i want this i want this and i have
to like
be like i’m i’m too much of my mom like
i’m not enough for my dad
so well that’s common now where people
don’t spank at all
they don’t punish that much so yeah
my kids are typically good though so i
don’t feel like i have to do it they’re
not
aliens you know if they were like you
know stealing [ __ ] from a store then
yeah i would i would be going and doing
that stuff
but they’re pretty good for people like
that to go to prison
yeah prison is definitely uh something i
wouldn’t want to definitely definitely
would not want to ever go to what okay
what do you think your chances of
what do you think would happen to you in
prison do you think you’d just get your
ass beat
do you think you’d lay low and not have
any problems or do you think you’d get
raped um
i don’t think i’ll get raped only
because i have like irritable
irritable bowels when i get stressed
that’s like that’s
that’s the first thing to like like i
might not even feel stressed but that’s
the first sign
i get stressed so i think that would
keep me from the rape part because i’m
pretty sure i’d be pretty stressed that
they’re trying to do that
and just want to want any part of that
um yeah no idea i’m probably too nice so
i’ll probably
get i’ll probably get the [ __ ] get
kicked out of me until
i couldn’t get the [ __ ] kicked out of me
i imagine
yeah or they might just leave you alone
it depends on where you’re at you’re in
houston
so there’s probably some hardcore person
close by
i have no idea because i’ve never i mean
even people that are like
i’ve just never hung around that element
to know because most guys i get along
with just fine
i don’t know i have a lot of problems
with people but i’ve never hung around
that
that little level of i don’t know that
personality
because it’s it’s like weird that
like so the way the world is right now
is like conducive to
me being the way i am but like the world
of the way it is for
some is like conducive to them being
like
the worst version of themself and that
really sucks because it kind of feels
like it’s not their choice but
yeah i don’t know i don’t know what
they’d do to me they’d either i’d like
to be cool and be like
hard target van damme and go in there
and do some jump kicks but
i haven’t been enough fights that i
would be able to stand up against
somebody that’s in prison that’s
probably fought
way more so yeah
i mean if we if we both went to hardcore
prison let’s
let’s be honest we either get the [ __ ] kicked out of us raped
or we’d be given some [ __ ] [Laughter] yeah i don’t know about that part i
don’t know i mean i
like i told you i studied martial arts
but yeah
i mean that’s effective against another
martial artist i don’t know i don’t know
how to
do one of those things i don’t think i
want to find out but i guess i would
have to find out how much that all that
training
paid off
yeah but i did all that sparring so i
you know i mean you learn how to like
manage
to keep people off you but prison’s a
different story because i don’t think
i think prisons like being mugged we’re
like 98 of the time it’s
um when the person’s unaware so i don’t
think you’re going to see it coming kind
of thing i think he gets stabbed in the
side
and the [ __ ] kicked out of you so well
honestly it’s never just one person
doing it usually
it’s always like so no matter how badass
you are if a group is coming on you
chances are you’re [ __ ] yeah and
that’s what i mean with martial arts is
like
any time you do like sparring
tournaments you enter in the ring
opposite each other you like bow like
it’s all
you know you got all this time to plan
things out and think and they
break you apart and then you have more
time to think but so yeah i have no idea
in a real
fight in prison i just probably get
whipped until
like i said until you learn better yeah
well let me let me set up the scenario
this would probably i’m not going to
knock you because this is probably what
happened to both of us
you’re in the shower you’re shimmering
washing your ass
and all of a sudden the guard walks out
as the wheat leader of
we’ll just say uh aryan nation because
you’ve just pissed them off maybe you
look a little too jewy or something like
that
comes in with about four other guys
they’re all just naked
and they walk into the water as you’re
washing your ass and
singing uh let’s see what would what
would you be singing oh yeah
the final countdown you’re sticking that
under
and then you notice them you ain’t
walking out of there
yeah in that situation that’s that’s the
type of prison situation they’re like
they’re predators man
um oh what would i do
yeah where are you gonna say
i thought you’re gonna tell us what we
would do or what would happen well in
that situation you’d be wet and you’d
get
be slippery they’d be slippery and it
would probably be a big old mess of them
stomping their slippery ass speed on
your head
like that’s the reality that i was just
saying
compared to like a martial arts
tournament compared to like a prison
attack scenario or you’re in like a
laundry room folding laundry just
trying to be a good inmate to get an
early release date and then all of a
sudden
just like four guys just jump you out of
nowhere that’s like
that seems like it’s a typical scenario
yeah yeah
and you might not even turn around when
they come in to jump you know just be a
blind attack yeah they’re not going to
care about a fair fight
yeah i don’t know what i do because i
haven’t been there because part of me
thinks
well the anal that’s out of the question
the blow job i could almost see myself
being like well then who blows me and
then who blows him
like yeah where’s this where’s the line
of blowing going like i went in on this
you’re like uh you know and then part of
yours like i’m a man and i would
fight i have no idea because just like
that chick that i said i dated that i
i went negative on the rape fantasy
i think there’s so many variables that
would come into play when you’re in that
situation
because you’d know whether you know how
fast the guards are gonna break you up
you know how many fights these guys have
been you’ve probably seen and you’ve
probably seen the aftermath
of what happens if they aren’t
successful like there’s too many
elements to even know what you
you do so i’d say there’s a chance you
fight a chance you submit
um i’ve known luckily for us i’ve known
a lot of people that have been to prison
and they say that rape isn’t as common
as you’d think
uh yeah definitely they’ve also said
and this is going for me so i’m going to
guess that would be for you too
is uh i i don’t come off as super weak
and they usually look for weak people
and i’m also likable enough that i would
probably just be left alone
i’d probably just go through you know
just kind of like being
friendly but not really starting [ __ ] with anybody or you know as long as
what you’re going for depends on you go
in there for two so
yeah i mean if if you went in because
you knifed a
chick while you’re banging her some
people might think that
that was kind of cool you know like you
did that on first date
[Laughter] yeah i never have second dates no if you
did open that door
and you started having and you started
slashing chicks on the first date
what do you think splashing like full on
like actual murder
yeah like if you just went down that
road and you became the first state
killer what do you think your name would
be like what do you think the papers
would refer to you as
yeah i don’t know good question
cause i was gonna my first thing was i
was gonna say they’d call me like the mr
clean killer
because i’d clean that [ __ ] up and then
i was like well maybe i want it
i don’t know because i don’t know how to
react if i’d want to like
try to clean everything to the tee which
i could see doing
or i don’t know if i just like i’d be so
far away from home like i’d go to
another state that i’ll just
i’ll bail i don’t know because i don’t
think the people that actually do the
killing ever
come up with the name that they get
signified as no
just comes up with uh how did you meet
her
was it on uh online or yeah it was
online i did a brief
stint of online dating and then i quit
yeah was it like the video or something
was what
was it like through pf pof or anything
um yeah i did pof and then i tried
tinder
and then i tried match briefly
okay so let’s so if anybody listens to
this
i’m going to ask that you just put in
the comments what do you think the
dick’s
killer name would be again i like it
i think a lot depends on how you leave
the crime scene and what the
what weird fetish you employ when you’re
doing the killing and
um yeah i don’t think it’s just
something i’m sure they can
use on something funny but yeah who
knows
what when was the last time you got laid
was it like
this year no no it was a long time ago
it was uh
i don’t know it’s gotta be like five
years ago
damn how do you do it dude how do you
not do it who wants a chick that you
like bang and then you go in your
bathroom and she’s got her [ __ ] makeup bag in there
but you don’t have to go that route i’m
surprised you’re not like on tinder or
something
just like trying to get like one-night
stands
no no i mean i’m sensible enough to
understand that just because i want
something that doesn’t mean anything
doesn’t mean that the other person
doesn’t want it plus i don’t believe
when
the female partner says she doesn’t want
anything
i don’t believe that no they’re always
looking especially
around our age they’re never just
looking for fun
um yeah i told you i have a
terrible terrible post-nut syndrome
very very very bad that takes like days
and days and days to go away
you want to describe it
uh i become neo and i’m in the matrix
and i see all the numbers and i see the
number of my bank account that it took
to get laid
and i see the hours spent at the
restaurant i didn’t want to eat at
talking about [ __ ] that i didn’t care
about just to get that nut
and then once i have the nut i’m like i
could just donate my myself
it’s like i feel like uh doesn’t happen
often
but if you’ve ever just like overeaten
something gross
it’s kind of like that you’re kind of
grossed out by everything
you’re like i should have maybe done
that
yeah i guess i could see how i would get
to that point if
and plus the promiscuous stuff i do not
want kids
i am very and i don’t want to even i
don’t yeah
even wearing a condom i’ll pull out and
stuff because i don’t want any risk so
also people are just messed up like i
don’t think i’m hugely messed up but
even am i
messed up i don’t want to see what’s
past that
in other people and i don’t want to
sleep next to that and i don’t want to
entangle my life in it and tell them
i’ll stay with them forever with that
yeah that makes sense so it’s been a
while i think i told you less
last girlfriend how was like i don’t
know five or six years ago
because she dumped me kind of like after
i became homeless
so which is understandable
so she she dumped you because you became
homeless
uh pretty much how long were you dating
her
oh not too long we only dated like
uh i don’t know it might have been over
a year
but the problem was i never told her i
loved her that was one of the big issues
i think
because i didn’t did you bring it up
like you don’t yeah well well she
so there was a point finally where she
said she loved me yeah but yeah she
kind of avoided it and we both avoided
because i don’t want to say it because i
didn’t
i didn’t and i don’t know yeah i became
homeless and then
we were together a little while but she
was
we’d fight a lot like if i jerked off
she’d get so mad she thought it was like
like hers like i couldn’t i couldn’t do
that to go to sleep you know
wait just because you jerked off she’d
get like upset well i’m just saying
that’s one of the things like
we’d fight about a lot of things and she
had a kid and man i did not bond with
that kid
yeah that kid was just an obstacle like
i would look at that kid
and that like he was just an
obstacle well we’ve talked to we’ve
talked about like
dating single moms typically and never
again i made that
that was just like uh i had an affair
with a married woman
you do some things once and you’d say
never again
never how long did that affair last uh
not too long because i kind of she
finally gave up the
the truth because at first she said she
wasn’t married
and she didn’t tell me about her husband
for a while
and then she finally did fess up and we
kept on it for a little bit not too long
like a couple weeks and then it kind of
everything explode it just hurts
everybody involved
yeah so you were having like a
conscience thing or
um no because i still we still
[ __ ] after i knew but it kind of that
kind of became gross too because like
you know i don’t know what she did
before she came to me like i don’t know
if i’m kissing her and she just blew her
husband
and he just nutted on her face and like
that was kind of a problem but
no because she wrote me in because
number one i know she was married
and then when she told me she was
married she was saying she’s going to
leave him
which i i believed her because she made
it sound really shitty
yeah and then i realized after a couple
weeks that
she was just talk she just wanted she
wanted me to [ __ ] her and
her husband do whatever provide and i
kind of got tired
yeah he’s probably [ __ ] someone on
the side too
um yeah i don’t know because i never
really
even when she told me i don’t know if
that was all the truth and so
i just i bailed because you know you got
to be careful like who you’re
who you’re spending your time with and
who you’re around you know i don’t want
to
who knows i never met her husband
probably know i could have walked out of
like a
a mall one day and heard tires screech
and then got nailed or something you
know
maybe
yeah there’s things that like anything
in life you learn from some things
better than
others so no no single mothers and no
adultery yeah that’s good
do you consider yourself a moral person
like do you do you have like a
a set of morals that you just like a
moral code you can’t just
pass i know you
hold on you have one because since
you’re asking i feel like maybe you have
one on your mind
and that’ll give me a moment to think uh
i mean i i would never sleep with
someone who is married
uh okay but let’s let me ask you this
if you didn’t know she was married and
so then you already slept with her and
then you found out she was married
that’s different that’s different
you might say you’ll never sleep with a
married woman but if you don’t know
better you might
yeah if if i don’t know then it’s
different and let’s let’s be
perfectly honest if if i was single and
i
ran into a married chick and i knew she
was married
and it was just like things happened too
you know
so i can’t yeah i feel like what if she
started sending you videos of her
stripping in her living room and like
i couldn’t enroll all day and like i
couldn’t rule out
everything especially if i knew like
call me a master just all right
i’ll call you master and like you know
who knows
you’re not gonna rule everything out but
just typically
yeah i would have i would avoid
someone who’s married uh your morals are
no
no married chicks yeah like getting
as far as getting with someone um
i don’t know because i i was raised with
like a pretty high view of
in some ways of marriage and you know i
uh in my own personal life i saw a lot
of
the aspects of what happens when people
cheat and just like
the domino effects that happen so
oh yeah yeah and there’s always you know
someone getting hurt
and definitely probably bigger than the
marriage thing though
is like banging a friend’s wife or
banging a friend’s girlfriend or
something like that and i’ve known dudes
that have done that to their friends and
it’s like you gotta be like the
shittiest person i had a friend
uh he’s still a friend of some a few
months ago before this covered thing
broke out
and uh this dude who claimed
oh yeah we’re the best of friends best
of friends went to his house while he
was
at work and just banged his girlfriend
years ago
and luckily the guy’s got a good wife
now and all that stuff who doesn’t do
that type of [ __ ] but
like just i don’t know like people like
that
do you remember when we first started
talking and then like uh do you remember
when you stopped talking to me for like
two or three days
because of something like that you
remember when i talked about that
when you talked about what oh banging a
friend’s
wife you remember when we were messaging
and then you you like
quit talking me for several days uh
no because it probably wasn’t calculated
it was probably just
uh situation oh no no this was very at
the beginning so let me run it by you
because it’s funny that
still makes me laugh because like
you asked me one day like when we first
started talking you’re like oh which you
like better like art
or writing you remember this
no not really i said i put something
like
well art’s nice because i can color
things pink but i like to write because
then i can talk about
uh killing my best friend in front of
his wife and [ __ ] her and this was
when we were like freshly
like you didn’t know me like you didn’t
know and i just let that fly
and that ran for days like you didn’t
say anything and then when you finally
came back
i was like like i think i said that
bothered you something you’re like
yeah but uh you know i let it go or
something like that because
it’s [ __ ] hilarious because on my end
it was kind of like a joke
but it was also sort of enforcing why i
like writing but yeah
i just remember laughing because i just
let that thing fly and it was like
seen like right away and then it just
went days where like you know
it still cracks me up i don’t know why
yeah
it it definitely i because i don’t
remember it i
it definitely didn’t impact me or
anything like that
but well auditioning system like oh came
out of blue or
like something or because it again it
was when we very first talked and i
don’t think he had made any
clear judgment it might have been the
first few days because it was very
it was me like being me where i test
people and i like
i don’t know i throw [ __ ] out there just
to see like reactions
oh yeah i don’t know man you’ve never
said anything that’s like offended me
like i knew we were going to be pretty
good friends when
you said it off the bat that your
favorite writer was layman so oh
like i said i could i could actually be
myself after that
oh here we go then get ready no
i mean the only thing that like the only
thing that would end our friendship
that i could realistically see as if one
day i i saw you on the news getting
handcuffed for like
exposing yourself to kids on a
playground or something like that that’s
pretty much it dude like if i found out
you were like
sleep even like sleeping with your
let’s go the horrible route let’s say
you’re sleeping with your brother’s wife
that’s that’s about as low as you can
get with being in the legal realm now
what if there’s a reason to have my
clothes off at the park
you know there could be like the movie
the uh what is that
um horrible bosses yeah horrible bosses
wasn’t he like having to take a [ __ ] or
something like that yeah he was drunk
and he
pissed at a playground at night at like
12 30 at night or something
yeah if it was like that situation that
i just think it was hilarious
i’d like dude you got like the worst
luck in the world
that’s something that could happen to
anyone but
yeah i mean even if you banged your
brother’s wife i’d be like dude that’s
pretty shitty
like you’re probably gonna have to make
it up the rest of your life and that’s
probably not gonna be possible but
i’d still be your friend like you
haven’t never done anything towards me
that’s
been like oh i gotta watch out for this
guy
it’s because we’ve never even met in
person yeah that could be it
but then you know before we started
doing the the podcast you said oh
uh i remember when i first brought it up
you were like
yeah but sometimes you don’t have that
chemistry
uh with talking it’s different and i
think we do pretty well i mean we’ve
talked for
three hours now so yeah no i was worried
that
you know you meet people online but uh
you don’t just because they can type and
you can read it back to yourself with
your own
voice speaking yeah i didn’t know what
if you’re like super socially awkward
and then i had to pretend you’re not or
if
i seem socially awkward to you and then
you gotta pretend i’m not
like i don’t know i don’t want to enter
into that boat
yeah like i said where we don’t play off
each other and we just kind of
yep and uh yeah but it hasn’t been like
that
like i think especially this podcast has
flowed really nicely
but you know but i i consider you a
friend like you know we
we talk all the time you know i i would
say that i know you to an extent i don’t
know you in person
so you know there’s no me to know don’t
don’t go all chick on me
there’s nobody to know
this is fine i’m not gonna like fly out
to houston and
find you i don’t mean that i just meant
like there’s
sometimes chicks are like i want to know
you and they think there’s like
something like a treasure map or there’s
like something they have to accomplish
by a certain period of time
there’s nothing there that’s like the
the sad truth maybe maybe it’s not sad
maybe it’s a good truth this week
i just am who i am why at this point
of where i am yeah it
i don’t know if we ever met in person
that’d be cool if
we didn’t ever meet in person that’s
cool you know it’s whatever
we do this movie fat dragons yeah yeah
that
that would be fun uh i could see it now
man i can see it
opening scene bikini girls on the street
washing a car
in the background’s a donut shop we
would have to
enter the donut shop and there’s like a
the donut owner guy was he’s an oriental
guy right like a kung fu guy
yeah old or kung fu guy old old
warren and the thug’s coming they’re
like hey man give us your cash
he’s like no not with my awesome kung fu
and he battles them but then they
they shoot him and then they take his
prize kung fu
uh artifact and then the guys run out
with it
and then the fat dragons jump in they
like jump in the door like wow
that dragons but we’re not dragons yet
we’re like oh old kung fu guy that we
love
what what happened oh these guys took my
prized possession you must return it
you must go get it and here are these
rings that will help you no wait
wrestling belts right
wrestling belts it was going to be a
donut because it was a donut shop
oh a doughnut here’s a kung fu dragon
donut take this
and avenge me uh and he dies and they’re
like oh no no
our favorite best friend kung fu guy and
then our car is driving down the street
and we’re like we’ll avenge you kung fu
guy and we take a hard turn and kick him
out the door
and his body dead body tumbles bye kung
fu guy
and then uh
[Laughter] oh that’s as far as i’ve gotten well you
know
the one critique that i would add is he
shouldn’t be just some random kung fu
guy
he should be our father oh father i was
thinking
about that i always think it’s funny
when uh
the the main characters are related but
they’re
unexplainably a different race like i
was when i
watched double dragons the two brothers
like ones
very much asian and the other ones just
the white dude and the yet they’re
brothers
yeah the super white dude that guy for a
party of five yeah
see we need something like that and then
like
our mom could be a black lady
and then every every new scene we go to
we’d have to have like bikini girls in
the street watching a car
just somehow everywhere they go there’s
like bikini girls watching cars or
something
pretty much yeah just sky’s the limit
no all we need is like good script
uh i was talking to my brother about it
and he was like well
you’re gonna have pretty much creative
rain just so again i would be
i’d be wanting to like direct it edit it
i’d like
to do everything ourselves yeah i’d have
a hard time just like kicking it to
somebody else like uh do your best
here’s the source material well yeah the
like if we did something like that we
would stick to the script we would make
it
how we saw fit so it’d be
we’d have to be involved because i’d
have to like study and do my homework on
like the tit shots getting them just
right
and like because you don’t want to just
do that in any old afternoon you want to
get good lighting and like
well and then also you get a we gotta uh
do recruiting for the female actresses
exactly
and so you’d have to do your uh
you’d have to do your rehearsal of your
uh
untamed heart type scene where you’re
gripping the breasts and
touching it definitely definitely having
to make sure that she’s
of high caliber caliber personality yeah
that her acting skills are top-notch
and her face isn’t even the movie
[Laughter] we have like five hours of you just
rehearsing
gripping breasts dude there should be
like a female character that
we never show her face just her every
every seat
it like that she’s in yeah we’re like
focused on something
so it’s only her tits in the show we
never get to see your face
that could be a possibility speaking of
like
watching dirty movies we’ll have to like
talk behind the scenes about what to do
with the script
but uh uh i watched fl
the first flesh gordon oh yeah you told
me that
yeah you didn’t see the first one though
did you
uh no i saw the cosmic cheerleaders
was it was that one pretty funny or no
it’s like i told you like i didn’t
i wasn’t recommending it when i talked
about it i was just saying that
you know that it has funny moments and
like you said the characters names are
funny
i don’t know if the big dildo spaceship
was in the first one or not
it was okay um so things like that but
overall it’s really just like
the women and the tits that carry you
along yeah
yeah i could see that that’s how it was
for the first one
it wasn’t like when i recommended danger
five or i recommended like
i don’t know the burbs or house shark it
wasn’t like that it was just i was
talking about it because that’s the kind
of movie i could see making
like it’s good intention but it’s so
like
it was just so made by the own directors
themselves whereas like something they
liked you know so particular that
it’s good but it’s not you know it’s
just
i don’t know what i’m trying to say here
save me done more
yeah yeah there’s some good parts to the
first flush gordon like
i thought it was pretty funny when uh
when flesh gordon was
yelling uh roles you know i’m doing the
best i can jerk off
when it’s so low budget like all the
special effects and everything are just
so
basement yeah well that’s how our movie
would be would be low budget and then it
would be the tits that would carry it
through
oh dude it’d be so low budget our whole
production will have to be at the park
we’d have to like paint wood to look
like a building you know like fake
fronts like
just painted yeah it’d be a lot of like
uh the fight scenes from power rangers
in the park yeah yeah yeah
or like the show aqua bat super show
that was always at the park
a lot yeah well it’s because parks are
easy to film at
and there’s always extras around that
are always willing you don’t have to
seek them out
i think the hard part for us would be
actually finding a chick that would be
willing
for what we could pay to be topless
i think the real problem would be once
we find the chick who gets to marry her
[Laughter] because we’re talking about like a you
like a unicorn somebody doesn’t exist
fat dragons would turn into a real life
battle
that would be the ending of the movie
just us
and the chick not really wanting either
of us but we’re still fighting over like
she’ll go with one of us
yeah now the volleyball scene that’s the
one i’m most excited about because i
picture like
these chicks like buried almost just
like
up to their just above their navel
to where their like arms are out and
their only way of trying to flag us down
in this volleyball court
is to remove their tops and start
swinging them for us
well the problem is if you bury them
that deep you won’t be able to see them
their tits
no but only up to the like the naval
like you keep them like oh okay
okay yeah just like just above the waist
you know to where it looks like they’re
sinking and you know but they’re
their tits are still hanging out and
stuff and that
i think that would be pretty easy to do
like just find a volleyball court
dig it out a lot of good scenes there’d
be a lot of good scenes if we
put it together the problem is i don’t
have enough belief in
number one us being able to finance it
uh two
even distributing i have a a prime
account for video where i can
upload videos but even that i don’t
think would ever make enough return on
what we spent
you would be surprised my brother
actually knows someone uh he said
what he said was um you know someone who
did a horror film
and that horror film is making that guy
after he’s paid everything like a
thousand dollars a month he was like you
just gotta
make low budget horror films and then
you know start with your passion
projects after i personally am of the
opinion that
the passion projects can be why not do
the passion projects
and see what happens like why wouldn’t
it come on
on a good point our our passion project
isn’t
a 150 million dollar movie it’s a very
low low uh
low budget indie basement
cardboard cutout yep
he’s like i think like my brother when
i’ve mentioned
ideas to him before he’s i think he’s
gotten in his head that it would cost a
hell of a lot of money and i’ve already
told him ways that we could bring the
cost down which i’m surprised
he hasn’t thought of it you find college
students to act in it and you are
catering an experience
if you get enough chicks you’ll get the
guys they’ll be getting the chicks
involved that’ll be the hardest
oh yeah and it would be
funny chase that would be going to be
topless but
you find actresses there’s enough
schools like in boise and
even if we just did it in houston
there’s enough
probably like acting schools you know
universities and stuff where you could
go to the theater and be like hey
we’re making a low budget film would you
like experience and catering
and blah blah blah blah and maybe we can
give you a hundred bucks
i bet you anything we could find someone
who at least just wants to get their
name out there a little bit with some
experience
yeah well the hard part is uh just like
flesh gordon
the caliber of chick is gonna be
greatly important yeah
not even their acting i don’t care if
they can’t act and they have to hold
their
if they have to hold the screenplay in
front of them and read it while we shoot
that’s fine
just the way they look has to be the
right level
yeah as long as they’re topless the
whole entire time i don’t think anybody
would care
that’s what i mean like it’s got to be
like yeah she can’t it can’t
yeah that would be pretty good looking
to to pull the weight that that
element needs to pull so you’re
basically saying if we have someone like
natalie portman wear gold
yeah we could do that i don’t think
she’ll do it
hey natalie you want to come back to our
movie you’ve never done a topless scene
you want to
you want to come do this scene for some
catering and 100 bucks
we need to find an actress that is
willing to use another actress’s name
that way it
spikes our movie up
well we could just yeah you could give
her any name you want i suppose on the
credits yeah i mean the character’s name
the character’s name in the movie could
be natalie portman that way it’s
protected by the label of you know
fiction
yeah here now it for our costumes are we
wearing spandex pants
is that where we dude we’re we’re going
like
like 70s wrestler 80s bodybuilder with
like
spandex pants boots the little we may
wear like tank tops that are
ripped so low they’re like these belly
shirts
um we’re gonna eat donuts every morning
so we can get our guts nice and like
bloated
oh and dude uh like the road warrior
wore
around his biceps we got to wear those
bands with the little leather
brands and then like
a sweat band our colored sweatbands on
our heads
dude we should do like clark kent style
like when we’re not fat dragons we’re
wearing like
big dorky glasses and our hair is like
like alfalfa
you know like we’re like nerdy and then
we come out we’re like
fat dragons we’re like
here’s the thing instead of going into a
telephone booth we’ll go into one of
those porn booths that we were talking
about earlier
well i don’t depends on the budget we
may just be walking behind a tree
[Laughter] probably i don’t know dude i think we
could pull it off
i think i think we could actually pull
it off better than we
think uh no we could i i’m not i
100 think we could make it i’m worried
about
how invested i’d get into it and then
how much of my own money would get into
it and how much money i’ll never make
back again
dude just write the script you don’t
have to invest your own money into it
that’s what you’re saying and then the
other part is you keep talking about
your brother your brother but dude like
i said
if we did it i don’t want us to be the
directors i don’t want us to edit the
footage
i don’t want us to be the ones to decide
on the music uh i’d want us to do
casting like i’m
yeah i’m gonna i’m gonna what’s that
called a bridezilla
and the film would be my my my wedding
yeah we could we could still do it that
way he’s just got all the cameras or i
could
i mean i he what he said to me the other
day
was if i applied myself i could know
more than he knows in four months
if i just watched youtube and just went
out and practiced so
i mean there’s always that you’re even
talking cameras i mean i i’d run out
there with some
iphones
it’s funny because you can make a low
budget film on iphones
and i think people are kind of getting
more used to video phone
you know videos on your phone and the
look so yeah
that’s true i mean yeah we could do that
run around with some like
newish iphones and just yeah i think i
don’t think you’re understanding how low
budget i’m i’m
trying to go here like i said the donut
shop we can’t even have
rent out unless somebody wants to give
it to us for free to see some tits
um i think we’ll be having to like paint
on wood
our own assad yeah
well [ __ ] if you want to really go that
low budget
we could
well i’m just saying because i really
just because we drop it on amazon prime
i feel like
although videos are way more consumed
than books
i feel like it’s going to be the kindle
yeah all over again
and yeah i just put time i haven’t put
any money
it probably will be dude and the funny
thing is is i think
i don’t think the the budget is
necessarily a big deal i don’t think
being low budget is a big deal as long
as you’ve got something unique
you know what i mean like i think if we
put our imaginations together
and gave people something different
i think we could probably make some
money off of it
i mean you have to keep in mind that we
praise things like house shark or
not that you praise flesh gordon but
like the things that we think are funny
you can just look at those and see what
kind of reception they get
yeah right so like that kind of that
right there
i mean there’s a chance that some will
shine brighter and you cannot do that
but there’s a very like
high chance that you won’t even you
won’t even reach that caliber
caliber like you’ll be somewhere below
that so it’s
it sounds awesome but it’s so niche yeah
and like
there would be the level of like nudity
and pervertedness might be so high that
just isn’t going to draw enough people
well you know one thing we could do is
fat dragons and then we could put our
heads together and
like try to make a a layman
esque horror film like something that’s
got the humor
kind of like you know porky’s meets
friday the 13th that way we could draw
on that horror crowd
true true um
i mean really if if you if
if we both had money to not go to our
jobs
um and we could take time off and we had
some money
let’s just say a thousand dollars and we
had
a thousand dollars to put towards the
movie and we had
four months that we didn’t have to go to
work that we could pay our own living
expenses i think our best bet would be
to make
real short videos for youtube and
tick tock and instagram where it’s like
super low budget like you and i at our
park
and each episode we battle like a
terribly made
paper mache creature kind of like making
fun of power rangers and stuff and it’s
like these terrible fights
so it don’t have to be half a lot of
scripts like well you know it’ll be this
very short script it’ll be these
terrible fights and like
see and then just see how much traction
that gets it’s like
the first episode we could fight a giant
a giant breast
like a giant paper mache breast with
somebody in it wearing a spandex suit
and a big old nipple and then we fight
and like have this terrible
terrible dialogue and just make things
like that and see how far that even
takes us before we threw any
large sums of money and time into it
yeah that’s probably accurate well and
then if we got traction fuel that was
funny then we could
okay let’s try to write something and
yeah but we
basically we do short skits so it’s like
sampling
what our sensibilities are to yeah
probably wiser uh why don’t we try to do
that like once this covet [ __ ] clears up it would be as easy as me just
like flying out to houston for a few
days
shoot on some iphones and you know
uh i mean it would be kind of hard to
pack a paper mache breast but i mean
if i like took a week off and you’ve got
the art skills for that right
no we didn’t make it here i wanna you’re
not gonna fly with this thing it’s gonna
be huge it’s going to cover the whole
person’s body
yeah so except for their stick legs
sticking out yeah if i take a week
off or something like that went out to
houston and
you were making it around that time and
got someone to be in it
like even if it was just another friend
of yours or something i mean i don’t
have friends though
well that’s why we just find someone at
a park that’s willing to wear a paper
mache breast
yeah no i’m sure i’m sure we could find
somebody to do it yeah oh yeah
if if we didn’t then you know one if you
came down we’d have to have more we’d
have to
plan several so we could shoot
because just shooting one and then
taking months and months and months off
is just yeah it doesn’t do anything
because
the way social media is it’s just just
by saturation
yeah so we’d have to at least shoot
several um
yeah that’d be a way to start we had to
think of like what kind of strange
attacks uh
giant breasts could do you know like a
milk attack and like a i don’t know what
else
a motorboat and like silly things
dude i’m down let’s uh
do that let’s just uh get
like get together on messenger come up
with ideas for shorts
i still want to throw in the beach
volleyball scene somehow
so either you kind of think of something
where it’s only like three people
involved so we can actually get it done
you know i mean you mean a monster you
know what i mean yeah i mean i’ve got
enough friends though
in uh boise that i could probably pull
they would know chicks who would
actually be willing to be in it just to
be in it
[ __ ] man i’ll put a giant tit on my dog
and she’ll just run around and we’ll act
like it’s fighting us
yeah it works whatever yeah
see it’s so funny to us but it’s because
we’d actually be
gaining the enjoyment of doing it
whereas the viewer
is so much less enjoyment so i don’t
know how much it’d be
how much people would like it let us
know in the comments i i think you
yeah i think you’d be surprised i think
uh
all it all it takes like you said but i
think uh
i think videos are a better lottery
system than
um than books definitely
especially if you’re making like no more
than like ten minute videos
five minute videos and they’re
especially because of the way it’s
consumed like
youtube and tick tock and instagram
they’re all free so
there’s no i mean the only
cost is their time but you can stop it
at any moment so like the the buying is
so low
where a book is a lot you pay your money
plus they’re going to spend their time
it’s like there’s a lot to
sacrifice so yeah videos are good
we can think about start thinking this
week about a i think
i mean i don’t know if we should you
think it’s better if we
collaborate on one monster or we each do
our own and kind of like
write up a real short script and then
like the fight scene will just have to
be choreographed on
at all times i think uh putting our
heads together will probably be better
i think you got a good idea with the
breast monster that’s interesting
okay so we can around this week we just
uh
i don’t know let the let the idea kind
of linger and see if anything pops up in
our heads for like attacks or
ways to decorate like first it could
come out in a giant bra and as we
destroy it the bra falls off and then
things like that dude i got to see you
like and you you got to plant your mouth
on the nipple at some point
and it’ll act like it’s like blowing
milk it’s our cheeks
if it’s your dog in the in the breast
outfit we gotta show a clip of your
dog’s face on the other end
just looking all depressed wearing this
big ass
she’ll probably run around trying to get
that thing off so it might work
people are just going to see two grown
men
spend x running around a park chasing a
dog in an impressed outfit
you’re a huge breath so i’m talking like
humans like like male
like grown male size like the whole
sphere is that size
like a like six foot tall
yeah yeah something like that like a
huge giant sphere
yeah buttery nipple
i think we’ll have to probably get a few
people because we could get
like some sort of like we could put a
hose
of some sort with like a pump where we
could pump milk out the nipple
yeah well you can do a you can have two
props and then the
nipple prop for shooting would be a cut
scene where you zoom in more
and you protect it so but yeah we need
we i guess we need four people yeah well
it depends if we use my dog but somebody
has to film
yeah actually actually we could
we could probably do it where we the
shots were together
we just have a fixed position and then
we can actually film each other for the
closer angles of the fights so we might
be able to shoot it just ourselves
actually
yeah for clever i don’t know how much
how interest you are on that but i think
we could
dude if that works with us and then
that’s fine
just for most people is easier to yeah
manage yeah if we ever do a feature
a feature film of of uh fat dragons
though
oh yeah we’d be doing a cameraman for
sure well i’d love to throw in that
beach volleyball scene
yeah no we’re keeping that i’m just
saying we can make these shorts to kind
of start to build a
little fantasy oh we could we could put
the video on this channel too
so that it helps feed each other you
know yeah that would probably be pretty
wise because then it’s
our thing you know what i mean yeah plus
we could film a behind the scenes
as we make it you know we take turns
with the camera filming
but behind the scenes you know putting
it on my dog seeing the dog run around
like
nuts or i don’t know i think it’d be fun
even if it was just like we’re doing the
podcast here and there and then just
doing some skits it would at least be
enough to garner
interest in or whatever we’re doing
so okay how about how about this too um
not that i don’t like making homework
because it’s um but while we’re letting
things like percolate about
our our big villain um
like like put in your mind to
have your subconscious think about
scenes that we could do for fat dragons
where
like individual scenes like what would
fat dragon do
like is there anything that would be
funny why the fat dragon is brushing his
teeth or like
like these real small random moments
that we could
start to describe the characters so when
people watch like it
by the time we get to the movie they
already have this like real good
understanding of like how
[ __ ] these characters are or
something
i don’t know how clear that was what i
just said but yeah and i it makes
perfect sense like
we want to make them look as dumb as
possible
that way people are like already getting
to the ridiculous swing of it
yeah one i just meant something that
would be like a
a small segment where i could just film
myself or you could just
where we don’t have to be together but
it would help to inform the characters
so maybe it seems we’re not together
we’re like whatever your name is what’d
you say your name was gonna be billy or
i don’t remember i can’t remember
like uh you know like you struggling
like if you’re i don’t know i can’t
think
like uh you’re putting on your shoe
and like i don’t know spider comes out
and you like immediately jump into your
fat dragon outfit like bing
and your fat dragon and then you’re like
trying to stomp this i don’t know i’m
i’m thinking on the fly but something
like that where like we can actually
shoot apart from each other
small video clips might help to
just be videos for people to watch and
like i don’t know maybe build an
audience
yeah i mean we could we let’s do that
i’ve got
a uh digital camera here um
so you can just film on your phone yeah
well i don’t got a phone
right now but digital camera is
just as good so um i actually got a few
different things
but uh like some like lights uh
some different [ __ ] but yeah it doesn’t
have to be anything special like
i don’t i haven’t really looked into
lighting or anything so
any camera will really do i could come
up with some ideas and do
like a character video you could do a
character video
now you’re you’re red i’m blue
so we just really gotta settle down on
the outfits and then we can do some like
individuals and it even i’m not saying
to start right away i’m just saying to
like start having in your mind maybe
you know how how ideas come to you like
you don’t actually think about it but
it’s kind of in the back of your mind
somewhere yeah like that
jumps out well and even then with some
editing software we could
edit each other into the same video
that’s true
somehow yeah so i’ll just the right
thing here
yeah i’ll brush up on uh some editing
and some other stuff um
and look into it a bit
okay well maybe we’ve come to the end of
this yeah
the podcast yeah it’s been going three
and a half hours i think we did
there’s nobody’s with us at this point
it’s just you and me yeah
but i mean it was fun so yeah all right
man
i’ll think about fat dragons i’m gonna
get something to eat and go take a leak
anyways so
all right man have a good day i’ll see
you later yeah talk to you later man
bye

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