The Keymaster himself, the great Rick Moranis was ATTACKED in New York City!

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How Did We Even Get Here? Podcast
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Transcript:
party people in the place to be
what’s going on it’s me it’s me
uh
prepare for battle
prepare for out and out
outright battle
someone has struck
the key master vince clother
i’m talking of course about the
international treasure mr rick moranis
at least that’s what the news is saying
let’s take a look
this coming from abc 7
new york after rick moranis
sucker punch in the head on upper vest
side
of manhattan upper vest side manhattan
police are searching for the man
wanted in a random violent attack on
actor rick moranis
on the upper vest side video shows the
moment
the man sucker punched a 67 year old
actor
in the head it happened thursday at 7
24 am so a few hours
from before now i’m on the west coast um
on
west 70th street near central park west
this these are all
vital ghostbuster locations too by the
way which is interestingly
interesting enough the attacker
continued walking away
after throwing the punch mirandas hurt
his head
back hip and hip in the attack and went
to the hospital for evaluation moranis
may be best known for his work on
ghostbusters honey i shrunk the kids
little shop of horrors
classic among others among many others
anyone with information regards to this
incident is asked to call nypd’s
crime stoppers hotline at 1-800-5
or 1-800-577-8477 or for spanish
1-888
okay there’s footage of this the nypd
has
one nypd news wanted for assault on
october 1st at 7 24 am a 67 year old
male victim
was walking southbound on central park
west in the vicinity of west 70th street
when an unidentified male struck him in
the head with a closed fist
knocking him into the ground half info
call or dm
in at nypd tips let’s take a look here
there’s a 25 second clip here alright
so clearly this guy punches this guy and
walks away
right it’s almost like the knockout
challenge from a couple years ago
here’s the thing
they blurred out the victim and i
understand why they would
right you know normally in in victim
cases you know sometimes
you have it blurred out for the victim’s
protection or whatever because you’re
not necessarily trying to blow them up
etc etc however
this whole story is getting this press
because we all believe
it to be our very own rick moranis
our very own key master
our very own wayne zielinski we believe
it to be the mirandas we believe it to
be the seymour
but i can’t find
any footage that proves
it actually is the seymour there’s news
all over the place saying it is
nbc abc local news is saying that it is
uh twitter’s blowing up all over the
place saying that it is dark helmet
but there’s nothing here
to actually suggest that it is
the mirandas in the video that is
circulating
and let me refresh twitter because maybe
and actually hold on while refreshing
twitter forgot
that i had the shorts with me yes
my schwartz is as big as yours again the
footage shows
a blurred out
person
i don’t believe rick moranis actually
has a real
um twitter again blurred out
and i’m guessing they blurted out for
quote-unquote graphic nature or whatever
is there something in this article that
says it was confirmed
let’s see in this article of the daily
mail
uh it says nypd is offering a 2500
reward i don’t see anything
i mean i people are reporting it but
that doesn’t necessarily mean anything
we’ve seen people report stuff that has
turned out to be false
in the past like it’s not necessarily
just because people are reporting it
doesn’t necessarily and believe me
my blood was boiling just as much as
everybody on twitter’s was when they
heard
about dark helmets attack vicious attack
on mr zielinski as dumb a thing as it is
for somebody to just walk up and punch
somebody in the face and then keep
walking on it is [ __ ] [ __ ] and actually no it’s just stupid that’s
that’s an insult to to retardants
but
all i’m seeing the
i’m seeing the attack i’m seeing the
punch
but i’m seeing a blurred out box
on on the attack so
my vitriol isn’t at
over 9 000 because
my brain won’t let me understand that
that was actually rick moranis
because i the internet has been
wrong and lying and has lied
in lying has and has lied many many
times in the past
there have been new stories that people
were all up in arms about
and all pissed off about that turned out
to not be true
that turned out to just be fake
or a name was attached to something that
turned out to just
not be real and
the lack of confirmation
from mirandas himself
let’s see i’m going to the latest on
twitter now
i’m not seeing anything i mean tmz is
reporting it and tmz
is actually fairly accurate with their
reports tmz
is is you know say what you want to
about tmz
but they they have a lawyer they’re run
by a lawyer they
they’re pretty they’re pretty stringent
about not being wrong
about this [ __ ] i so i almost want to say i believe it
because tmz says it because tmz
because say what you will about tmz and
the stupid gossip and
you know hunting down [ __ ] you know
stars at restaurants and airports and
[ __ ] typically on actual news stories they’re
correct
and actually a lot of times tmz in 2020
in 2020 i’ll say it out loud tmz is
often more correct than your msnbc’s
cnns and fox news so
tmz is saying it so i
am apt to believe it’s
more uh the fact that they blurt out the
actual attack i get it
you know it’s probably it’s gonna be sad
you don’t necessarily want to see it but
at the same time
i can’t confirm that was actually
varanas in it
like i can’t confirm that because it’s
all it’s a blurry box
so i’m guessing that tmz went with
let me go into the actual tmz story i’m
guessing that they may have gone with
the hospital report
if the hospital report had him saying
that he’s
rick moranis just punching him from
zach zero time to react and
almost as frightening the attacker come
and walks away cops
it’s not even saying how it happened
it’s just a cursory
law enforcement sources tell tmz the
ghostbusters
and honey i shrunk the kids star was
walking in central park vest
thursday in manhattan went out of
nowhere a man
in a i love new york hoodie unleashed a
violent punch knocking miranda’s down
hard
so it was a random thing it was it was
like to not it was the knockout game
just a random attack we could see that
the video shows that
just some just some random [ __ ] [ __ ] doing [ __ ] [ __ ] and again tmz is reporting it i’m apt to
more believe them
they’re reporting than most other
outlets because they are
very very cautious about not getting
sued for the [ __ ] that they post
huh
i don’t uh
i don’t know what to say i don’t know
what to say
um if this
if if it and and again i’m if i’m more
apt to believe that it is actual varanas
after seeing the tmz report uh this is
this is [ __ ] irritating this is this
is and it’s it’s weird
my reaction is is different than anybody
else’s because i
can’t be angry because i can’t prove it
was him
you know when i heard when i saw the
headline at first and started setting up
i was like
oh my gosh and then i’m watching it and
i’m like
oh wait a minute wait the car
the cautious person in me is like huh
hold on
wait wait a second the the
you know hold on hold on a second this
is a news story
but it may not be the new story we think
it is and i think
this is another example of something may
not be what we think
it may be it may actually be what we
think it is
our early reactions may be the right
reactions of vitriol
get the goddamn pitchforks and go tear
that man asunder
or it could be slightly less vitriol
because we don’t know the random man
that actually got punched
now obviously the man deserves as much
punishment as he deserves
for doing something so stupid and so
random regardless of who it’s to
but the internet’s vitriol
aside from even the evidence of the tmz
report
even though in their report
yeah it’s still blurred out it’s still a
blurry picture
that’s a hard fault he took too but it’s
still a blurry picture
it’s still boxy and blurry and we have
no
way of confirming who that is
so even with the tmz report
uh and video i
can’t exactly respond the way i thought
i was gonna respond
because i’m still waiting to see what
actually comes of this
i’m still waiting to hear from a
confirmation from mr moranis
i’m still waiting to hear from or see an
actual video
of mr moranis in that outfit walking at
a different
you know at a different angle even if
even i don’t even necessarily have to
see the assault
if if i can just see you know
miranda’s walking off the other corner
in that same outfit
to confirm that that was him but i can’t
there’s nothing
so far on the day of the attack here
at 10 30 in the am west coast time
to say that that’s actually what
happened so
so i i i personally don’t know um
party people i need you to tell me
down there in the comments section what
you think about this
um if by the time you’re watching this
new news has come about
uh you know put that down there i’m sure
my reaction will change with some
confirmation uh
you know at the same time like i said
before stupid thing to do
don’t [ __ ] do that send the [ __ ] to jail
regardless of who it is okay so
apparently the
rick miranda story has been confirmed by
his people at least
uh variety as well as the abc news
or abc 7 new york story has the same
statement from his representative
abc new york calls him troy bailey but
variety just says his representative
says uh that he is fine but grateful for
everyone’s thoughts
and well wishes so it has been confirmed
we can go to war
get your pitchforks out now let’s
[ __ ] wreck some [ __ ] but if it actually is mr
moranis
if it actually is the international
treasure
rick moranis then by all means
throw him under the jail
and and and
get the [ __ ] secret service involved
because we’re talking about an
international treasure that must be
protected
at all costs betty white is fine she’s
sewn up
in her compound with all her pets she’s
perfectly fine
the black community has put out a bat
signal
to protect miss marla gibbs at all costs
that’s fine international treasure rick
moranis
who just came out of hiding
must indeed be protected
at all costs i need a building
built out of schwartz rings i need
uh i need the top of his bill of
wherever he’s living
to be converted to central park west to
spook
central west i need
you know i need cannons shrink cannons
all around his compound
to shrink any and every body that comes
within
a five mile radius including all the
postmates workers
that are going to be delivering his food
they can blow the food back up as soon
as it gets inside
but international treasure rick moranis
must be protected at all costs
all costs
cheers
[Music] straight

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