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• Und Now, Perpenfuhrer Theater Classics will Wrap up der Timeless Classic, LET'S SEE WHO GETS FUCKED, With Part 3:

  Upon Their Arrival in Honolulu, Hawaii der Next Day, They Discovered That They were Nicht Out of der Game Yet. Before They Could Collect Their Respective Grand Prizes of $300,000 und $400,000, They Had to Immediately Pay a Visit to Room 1408 at der Coconut Waikiki Hotel in Order to Pass der Final Test of LET'S SEE WHO GETS FUCKED. Der Room Contained an Official L.S.W.G.F. Fuck-Detection Bed Equipped with Cameras, Motion Detectors, Body Heat Detectors, Heart Rate Detectors, Breathing Detectors, Penis und Vagina und Asshole Detectors, Ejaculation Detectors, und Lights und Speakers. On der Wall in Front of der Bed was a Clock with a 20 Minute Countdown. If der Bed Detected der Completion of der Fuck Process Before der Time was Up, Sirens und Lights would Indicate Victory und Hundreds of Thousands of Dollars for Each Contestant.
  
  There was Nein Time for a Romantic Walk Together on der Beach; Nicht Even Time to Individually Prepare in Private, Separate Rooms. An L.S.W.G.F. Official Drove Them to der Hotel, Ushered Them into a Elevator und Up to Room 1408. They were Practically Pushed into der Room und der Door was Locked Behind Them. They Looked Up to See that Der Countdown Clock on der Wall Had Commenced with Working It's Way Down to 00:00.
  
  Gratex Said, "Fook It!" und Hurried into der Bathroom with Her ALDO Women's Overnight Handbag. Ayman Stripped Down to his Shorts und Started Workin' on His Soft, Tiny Penis with His Bathmate Airpump XL5 Model. Der Bathroom Door Opened und Gratex, Dressed in a Veiled Hijab, a Vinyl Cupless Corset with Gold Pasties on Her Tits, und a Laced G-String, Walked Over to der Bed und Fell Back Onto der Red Silk Bedspread with Her Legs Spread.
  
  "Drop the Fookin' Toy an' Tongue Ma Fart-Box, Ya Sexy Brown String Bean!" Gratex Said to Ayman.
  
  Ayman Had Achieved His 3 1/2" Hardon but the Rubber Cuff on the Airpump Wouldn't Let Go of His Dick.
  
  "Jesus Christ, there's 15 Minutes Left on the Fookin' Clock! Am Ah Gettin' Ma Hole, Laddie? Get that Whalluper of Yers Ov'r 'ere an' Let's Fookin' Get On with It, Ya Dozy Cunt! An' Ya Don't Need to Worry about Wearin' a Condom. I'm Infertile."
  
  "I'm Sorry, Miss," Said Ayman, "But...But...I'm Pulling Hard! It's Stuck!...ARRGH! GRRR...OUCH! OH, There, I got It Off. Okay, Let's Start Fucking and Get Our Grand Prizes."
  
  Gratex Pulled der Front of Her G-String to der Side, Revealing a Lovely, Tiny, Pink Vagina. Ayman Got Excited, though in His Mind, There Seemed to Be Something Missing from It. He Mounted Gratex und Pressed His Cock into der Pink Hole.
  
  "ARRGGH! Yer Hurtin' Me, Ya Fookin' Fuddy Cockwomble! I Thinks Yer Too Big for Me Love Hole...an There's No Jobbie Jabberin' Going On Here, Laddie, So Go Over to My Handbag an' Get Out the Vaseline an' Put it On!"
  
  Ayman Got der Handbag, Pulled Out der Vaseline und Rubbed It On. He Returned to der Missionary Position und Poked It In Quite Easily.
  
  "Aye, Laddie. Now Start Pumpin' Hard an' Fast--There's 8 Minutes Left on the Clock!" Gratex Said.
  
  Ayman Started Fucking Nice und Hard. Der Minutes Began Ticking By Quickly. He Thought about der Money to Come...About Quitting His Crappy Job...About a Nice Apartment...un-Und INMENDHAM. A Darkness Suddenly Came Over Him und He Felt Inmendham Coming Out through Him. HE STOPPED FUCKING. Gratex Looked Up at Him.
  
  "What the Fook Are Ya Doin', Ya Fookin' Lavvy-heided Cocksplat! There's 3 Minutes Left on the Clock! Get Goin', Laddie!"
  
  "I...I Can't Go On," Ayman Said to Gratex. "This Game Show is a Sham! Life is a Fucking Sham! We're Tools of Nature. Don't You See It? We're Two Flies Fucking. Life is Meaningless and Unnecessary. All We Do is Consume and Shit and Pass It On! I QUIT This Game!"
  
  WHACK!!! Ayman's Head was Snapped to der Side by an Open Palm Strike. He Felt Dazed und Was Quickly Flipped Over on His Back. Gratex Straddled Him und Stuck His Slippery Cock Back Inside of Her Pink Cunt. She Tapped Ayman's Face until He Fully Came To.
  
  "Now You Listen to Me, Ya Daft Fookin' Walloper! I Am Not going to Lose $300,00 Because of a Witless Fookin' Twonk-Efilist like You!"
  
  Gratex then Whipped Off a Remy Monofilament Wig und Tossed it Across der Room.
  
  "Ya See? I'm a LADDIE Originally. I Had a Recent Sex Change Operation that Cost Lots of Fookin' Money, So I Have Some Bills to Pay And Another Operation Coming Up to Complete Ma Fud that You Got Your Whalluper Into, Ya Fookin' Numpty! Now, There's Just 90 Seconds Left on that Clock An' If You Don't Fookin' Pop Yer Cork, I'm Gonna Give You Pain an' Suffering Like You Fookin' Efilists Never Imagined!"
  
  Ayman Forgot Inmendham and Focused Back on His Money Dreams. Gratex Humped Like a Barn Horse on Crack Cocaine. Der Pussy Farts were Spectacular.
  
  "It's 40 Seconds, Laddie! Fookin' Do It, Laddie!"
  
  Ayman Felt Himself Getting Into It as That Slippery, Tight Pussy Gripped at His Cock und Quickly Slid Up und Down. He Listened to der Pussy Farts with Great Excitement.
  
  "There's 15 Seconds Left! COME, Ya Fookin' Walloper!!"
  
  Ayman Could Feel It about to Explode. He Nodded His Head at Gratex und Closed in on der Coming Explosion.
  
  "5 SECONDS!!!"
  
  Ayman Braced Himself for der Release into Gratex's Tight, Hot Pussy.
  
  "1 FOOKIN' SECOND, YA DOZY CUNT!!!"
  
  He Was Finally THERE! Ayman Moaned und-Und--
  
  BZZZZZZZZ!! Der L.S.W.G.F. Disqualification Buzzer Filled Their Ears und Quickly Brought der Hot Action to a Standstill.
  
  "YA FOOKIN' FUDDY JIZZTRUMPET!! $70,000 DOWN THE DRAIN BECAUSE OF YER FOOKIN' INMENDHAM AN' EFILISM!! YA FOOKIN' GOMMY BOGGIN' FUCKNUGGET!! I'M GONNA BEAT THE CRAP OUTTA YA!!"

  After 10 Days Spent in a Honolulu Hospital, Ayman Only Had a Few Grand Left to Spend, und He Took His Free Flight Back to Los Angeles to Continue On with His Washroom Attendant Job at der French Restaurant. Gratex, Having Lost Much of His Money due to Legal Fees for Assault und Battery Charges, Flew Back to Scotland to Continue His Struggles with Paying Bills und Getting that Final Sex Change Operation to Complete that Something that was Still Missing.
  
  In Los Angeles, Ayman had Settled Back into der Drudgery of His Job, Watching Inmendham Videos, Jacking Off to Porn...Except He was Nein Longer Interested in Videos about Guys with Cunts. Unfortunately, However, It Wasn't Long before Donald Trump's Zero Tolerance Immigration Officials Came Sniffing Around, Looking for Ayman. He Had Become Too Well Known Since Becoming a Contestant on der Nationally Televised LET'S SEE WHO GETS FUCKED. A Rooming House Drunk from Down der Hall Gave Him der Tip about Immigration und He Packed und Took a Tour Bus, Heading North for der Canadian Border. As He Took a Shit in der Toilet at der Back of der Bus, He Thought of a Wise Saying Put Together by YouTube's Verrry Wise WarblesOnALot: "A Good Shit is Better than a Bad Fuck,"...Or, Let It Also Be Said that der Pollyanna und der Efilist Make Verrry Bad Bed Mates, Indeed. Ho! (end of story)

  Hohohoho! I Hope You YouTubers have Enjoyed Our Latest Perpenfuhrer Theater Presentation. Stay Tuned for Our Next Riveting Story.

  --Perpenfuhrer Erich Brown (Host of Perpenfuhrer Theater Classics)

• I remember (very inexactly) one line from the original film: "My hair is reaching the stars", or something like that.

• Now that's a right fine video, y'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawl.

• Hilarious bickering between Dr Tongue and Bruno...hard to believe this is the same duo who played the Schmegies...what talent!

• Probably watched this bit on TV and online video half a dozen times before, always wondering where in Toronto or Chicago that street shots are from, DEF not NYC. There's enough northerly crap that it could be Chicago or even the Canadian side of Detroit (Windsor), but the BUILDINGS give it away. There's a shot of someone looking like a young woman walking down street away from the camera while both John Candy's Doctor Tongue's Jon Voight's Joe Buck (what a goofy pathetic striving threatened little man name that is, "Joe Buck". who would ever name their child this or take on this name for themselves, probably only someone with cable TV show that's pro-hunting or NRA or some such inherently morally compromised subject) and Eugene Levy' Woody Tobias Junior's Dustin Hoffman's Ratso Rizzo, ogle her with their average 1.5 visual acuity compromised eyes (I wonder if that giant wen on Woody's right cheek has independent sensory data collection capacity?), and it shows a series of buildings on the other side of the street in an order I recall seeing many many decades ago in a stay of several weeks in a hotel just north of the main downtown street in Edmonton Alberta, called Jasper Avenue. If someone were to walk directly south from Edmonton city hall to Jasper then when they reached the north side of Jasper Avenue walked along the north sidewalk maybe 4 to 6 blocks west towards the High Level Bridge stetree, which I think is 109th street, there used to be some small seedy looking business building along the south sidewalk on Jasper Avenue, maybe 3 bloocks north of the provincial government building complex, that had the usual D list business and ethnic cafes and cheap bars in them - THAT'S GOT 2 b where his episode of SCTV was shot.

• When comedy was good!

• Take Butler St.PGH Midget!

• Only a few years of brilliant SCTV's, yet we still have SNL to put up with, and which should have been put to sleep YEARS ago. They've not been funny in ages...

• Quite possibly the funniest scene from SCTV. John Candy as Dr. Tongue, doing a 'Texas' accent! "Howdy y'all! I'll have a 7 & 7 y'all!" HAHAHAHAA! So many classic lines in this...man I miss John.

• Can't believe I found this.wow comedy gold .I love these characters and sctv