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A small bearded boy was the only one in kindergarten who had to shave. Some called him a freak, some said he was illegally pretending to be 6 years old (which was true), but damnit… The ladies loved it. With his god-like good looks, The Bearded Boy had all sorts of tricks for impressing the females. Sometimes he’d draw a sick truck with finger paints. Sometimes he’d do a backflip off the jungle jim. Other times, he’d blow people’s minds with crazy truths from the universe that they hadn’t learned yet. Sometimes girls would say: “I like you a lot!” And he’d say (putting his stunner shades on): “Oh yeah!? I like you *infinity*.” Mic dropped, jaws dropped.

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