Cast:
Dave Thomas as Doug McKenzie
Rick Moranis as Bob McKenzie
Max von Sydow as Brewmeister Smith
Lynne Griffin as Pam Elsinore
Angus MacInnes as Jean “Rosie” LaRose
Paul Dooley as Uncle Claude
Brian McConnachie as Ted
Mel Blanc as voice of Father McKenzie
Tom Harvey as The Inspector
Douglas Campbell as Henry Green
Len Doncheff as Jack Hawkland
Buddy the Dog as Hosehead
Chris Benson as Hospital Orderly
Transcript:
hey grow you make some noise you not
yeah we got to start the mov keep
growling I think he’s bummed out stick a
pin in his bum e no way what are you on
valium maybe maybe I had to crank his
tail he that start him up okay start up
come on E maybe we got to call Perkins
eh get Wild Kingdom Here hey come oh
jeez getting mad yeah oh jeez we better
get
home do the thing
oh good day oh do do our new movie theme
eh yeah
okay okay good day I’m Bob Mackenzie
this is my brother Doug how’s it going e
Welcome to our movie okay our topic is
uh movies okay uh first off difference
between movies and TV e okay go to TV
this is the difference between TV and
movies eh so okay go back to movies jeez
now that hoser is growling take off will
you we’re doing our movie don’t wreck
our show you hoser okay uh another topic
zoom out e let’s show how big the screen
is e zoom out look how look how huge it
is e okay like normally we just have
great white North a but look we got
what’s that over there okay like England
and Ireland and uh France e he’s genius
e he knows the atlas okay and over here
we have uh uh Russia and Hawaii okay so
all hosers in Russia and Hawaii and
England Welcome to our movie how’s it
going okay comrads we made uh Zoom back
in E okay we made a movie e uh so we’re
going to show that now yeah okay oh wait
a minute first of all they got to you
got to interview me the director I got
to put up screen too e don’t forget okay
zoom in on me the director come
on okay I direct you too he yeah well I
got to give them my theory on on movies
eh okay here’s my theory on movies you
want to know how to wreck a movie eh
take a jar of moss into the theater eh
and like uh
sorry and then like uh release them at a
point in the movie when you know what’s
going to happen hey and all the Moss
will fly up to the projection Bruth
window and Cloud it up and you can
demand your money back okay zoom out e
this movie was shot in 3B three beers
and it looks good eama call it Hama okay
so we made movie so sit back get some
corn and uh let’s have uh let movie time
okay turn it on
okay do you have enough time just see
okay okay then 10 years after World War
I 2051 no more what no1 the future they
saw ready takey I was the only one left
on the planet after the Holocaust eh go
the Earth had been like devastated by
nuclear war like Russia blew up the US
and US blew up Russia Statue liberty act
lucky for me I’d been off planet on
vacation at the time of the war eh there
wasn’t much to do all the bowling alleys
had been wrecked so as I spent most of
my time looking for
beer one day I was out looking for a
nice place to build a city for my
children when I spotted a mutant in the
forbidden zone I landed my vehicle to
pursue and Destroy This genetic freak
before he could warn other mutants in
the underground caves I was kind of like
a oneman force say like Char and hon in
Omega Man did you see it it’s
Beauty fleshy headed mutant are you
friendly no way he radiation has made me
an enemy of
civilization alphab base this is Bob
McKenzie I’ve spot a fleshy head mutant
sector
16b take off you
hser dude what happened e film broke oh
jeez got to fix it eh sorry fil F see
turn the lights on what you got what not
jeez we had a lot of popcorn too okay uh
you cover I’ll fix film he oh I got I’m
getting Whiplash for my burps he okay
uh oh nice going you knob hey what kind
of movie is this uh okay here’s how to
get uh zoom in on me zoom in on this
okay here’s how to get a free beer e
let’s get a baby mouse and like put it
in a bottle and uh when it’s so small it
will fit in like this hole right they
did this on their album R shut up you
shut up maybe with some uh like okay
we’re able to fix film okay here’s what
happened in the film after I was chased
takeoff after I chasing van he took back
to don’t tell him a film like you’re
supposed to show it yeah we can’t show
it cuz yeah show it like this he like
just hold it zoom in on
this zoom in oh jeez that’s good idea
that’s it we’re leaving kids come
on oh hey how come everybody’s going I
don’t know it gets better what a waste
of money where’s the man man I hope
you’re proud of yourself take off e how
come everybody’s so [ __ ] eh I don’t
know but you may as well really wreck
this movie now you must yeah jeez here
we
[Applause] goar
like uh you why you
[Applause] FR well then how about a couple of
passes to a real movie can you
believe let’s get out of here okay yeah
you hold it not that way we’ll get
kill get
[Applause] it they’ve been saving their allowance
for weeks to see this movie what am I
supposed to tell him just what the heck
am I supposed to tell him we’re real
sorry here’s some money back it’s only
15 bucks Tak it yours take off that’s
Dad’s Beer Money e hey look they’re
giving refunds in the alley get
[Applause] [Applause] him
uhoh watch out cops what cops this is
the place I got back for you jeez good
thing I’m still wearing that
jock hey wait up you heard
[Applause] you
[Music] [Applause] get who driving you drive there’s a lot
of cops around okay
[Music] thanks it’s a 20
hey where are you going this way for go
the other way I told you hey officer I
told him to go the other way Sor come
let’s
move we’re moving my brother’s drun I am
not come on let’s
[Music] go
[Music] hey I went to the
doctor nobody home so I call up the
high wait for the you see met me on W
yeah took me home
gave me some strange Pro I won’t leave
me alone now
I don’t so good I’m
[Music] so Str more than I should to much
[Music] Str
[Music] St
[Music] through
[Music] first come first
sir give me no way come take
[Music] one come on
[Music] Here
Boy Save one of those beers for me
[Applause] eh
[Music] he’s guarding up here what are we going
to do give him a donut jelly he likes
jelly jelly donut coming okay Jose come
on Jelly get over there get over
there Qui get a
glass what the hell’s going on in there
[Music] just
you take it to him no wait you take it
to him no you no take you take it I’m
let I’m going to let go I’m Letting Go
the beer you taking it I’m Letting Go
I’m Letting Go okay let go okay
fine dad B broke your beer no I didn’t
dog broke it it was you clean up the
mess boys I want you hosers to get me a
fresh casaste of beer first thing in the
morning we’re going to need some money
use the money I gave you today you idiot
way to go you gave away the
M yeah what’s going to happen if this
plan don’t work e the old man will boot
us out of the house we have no place to
sleep yeah I could live in this van I
don’t need no place off you need money
to live or you’ll starve well this plan
sucks I ain’t going in our tour I’ll
tell the old man you gave away his beer
money okay okay you CS me around morning
George all right how you do petty give
me 12 fresh Yukon go 12 Yukon Gold
7 that horse ran like a bum yesterday
see you tomorrow okay take it
e well Elenor 12 24 oh yeah sorry 24
Elenor beers 24 yeah 24 Elenor
1470 I believe there’ll be no charge on
this to for a beer thank you excuse me
okay we found this mouse in a bottle of
elnor beer that we bought at your beer
store ehy and we heard like when that
happens that uh you get your beer free
it’s in the Canadian criminal code eh
like there’s legal precedent setting
cases in law so like give us our free
beer you want free beer go to the
brewery now get out of here before I put
the two of you in a bottle you sure you
don’t want to think this
over I’m sure okay we’re going yeah see
you
[Music] SE a lot of arrows e elnor Castle elnor
Brewery Royal Canadian Institute for the
man insane hey that’s looney bin eh yeah
sure looks spooky up there I don’t like
the look of this oh where should we go
Looney bit or Brewery I’m taking you to
the Looney B I’m going to the Brewer no
way go to the brewery all right but then
I’m taking you to the doing
[Music] thing holy look at
[Music] that
oh
jeez jeez what should we do hey get me
out of here hey hold it hold it her
tires are insulators don’t get out of
the car you’ll ground and get
electrocuted he hooked up our stereo eh
well I can’t get out the doors are stuck
you know what we got to do eh what
rammer from behind come
on who’s driving you are in case she
sues for whiplash I don’t know you I’m
just a hitchhiker
e you all sue
for
[Music] hey thanks a lot
okay so you’re looking at me yeah cuz
she thought you’re some kind of freak
now come on let’s go God she likes me eh
no
way
what happened there’s a power search at
the main gate we lost picture but we
have it back now is she here yes she’s
not alone she’s got two guys with her
lawyers I knew this would happen someone
went them in they’re already in damn
Distortion that’s twice where is he oh
he’s back in the
thing
yes she’s
here what are you doing here well I uh
uh Ted said she had lawyers with her I
thought we should discuss it I did not
say they were lawyers you said they were
lawyers I don’t look like lawyers to
me you have the check oh yes it’s right
here did her mother sign it yes she did
and you know what to do yes yes I know
[Music] it’s real big eh yeah well don’t get
scared just think all the free beers
we’re going to get come
on good morning may I help you yeah we
have an appointment with that guy there
eh
oh I’m
sorry Mr Elenor passed away
recently no wait yes well we made the
appointment with the deceased quite some
time ago eh we away in business how long
ago was it when did you die I beg your
Parton wait okay you know his
replacement e like the new boss we made
the appointment with him eh what’s his
name again I’m afraid that’s private
company business I see
well perhaps one of these would refresh
your memory
[Music] eh well the day after he died his
brother Claude married his wife and took
over the entire
Brewery but there’s a
daughter go away it’s my last one go
go it’s a
jelly
she just turned 21 and legally inherits
the whole Brewery so she’s a new boss
however today I’ve asked Pamela to drop
by so that uh we could present her with
this honorarium and the temporary shared
transfer
agreement in other words you’re buying
her
out nobody is buying anybody out
Henry this is a temporary arrangement to
to relieve her of the burden of of
ownership so that she can continue with
her studies do you want to be relieved
of the burden of ownership well I don’t
know $5 million is an awful lot of
money my mother might have accepted your
proposals but I don’t forget it Uncle
I’m taking over the
company there’s a legal question to
consider here excuse me essentially this
is a vote of
trust come on we’re lost we’re lost
keeping bre
quiet my get my head you’re not going to
get it
back keep
quiet who are
you yes um we have an appointment with
the president the new president not the
one who died eh of the brewery Mr Claude
elnor perhaps you heard of
him come on I’ll show
you you know who that is Shan Rose
Montreal Canadian rookie a year two
years ago doesn’t play hockey no more
take off he’s a cop and he knows you’re
lying about the mus he’s going to arrest
you I’m going to be a witness I got that
guy’s hockey card at home I’ll show it
to
you looks like lose picked up those two
Hicks but you don’t know how to run a
brewery who will handle the day-to-day
operations no Henry ran it for my father
he can run it for me I’ll help all I can
excuse me
I just don’t want to step on Smith’s
toes who what we’re having a meeting
these gentlemen here say they have a
meeting with you eh when what meeting
hey Whiplash how’s it going just fine
thanks what is the reason for this you
Claude elnor yes yeah okay well we found
uh this mouse in a bottle of your beer e
like we was at a party and a friend of
ours a cop had some he puked and he said
uh come here and get free beer or uh
he’ll press charges
Henry could this have
happened well not so long ago when there
were men on the bottling lines this sort
of thing didn’t happen so let’s get some
men on the bottling
line welcome to
1984 the age of Automation and
unemployment the rise of the machine and
the ball of
man the end of the human
era you don’t know what I’m talking
about do you what we can’t hear you we
got these things in our ears watch your
step and remember big brother is
watching you here put these on safety
requirements your job is to watch the
bottles on this line watch them for
mice what’s my job
help
got an opener yeah I stole
this two time yeah two at a time do our
new job yeah
Beauty let me see what you got
okay good now bring the lunatics from
The Institute I want to see how the drug
and the beer is affecting them they’re
responding to the sounds watch
[Music] [Music] this
[Music] okay basically it’s the same system with
a new addition specific
tones are still linked to motivation but
now we’ve added color distinction so
object a will attack object b or black
will attack white or vice versa I’m
going to try the whole thing out
tomorrow the same concentration of
formula mhm that means we are right on
schedule
just one more
test and then we are ready for the
world light them
[Music] up
[Music] thank you know
Pamela I I don’t want you to think that
you’re your mother and I don’t
understand how you feel about about
losing your father if it’ be me who died
you’d be over it by now it’s easy to
wallow in self-pity the hard thing is to
go on living we’d always have our
memories the Colonel’s dead here we are
still enjoying his chicken don’t you
think it’s a little unusual to get
married so soon after the
[Music] funeral Mor Bean medling
here
well where’d your boys get all this beer
you stole it didn’t you I’m calling the
police no way we got jobs this was free
beer dad there’s more outside how much
more oh about 10 or 12 cases we got jobs
in elnor Brewery we work there now eh do
you hear that honey they got jobs they
got free
beer je really good books now man yeah
well let’s not blow it by sleeping in
and being late for our first day at work
e why don’t we stay up all night Bey
idea honey pH the
neighbors oh never mind I’ll do it
myself hey George the boys got jobs
crazy going on out there all the damn it
Kenzie shut
up good morning elnor Brewery I’m sorry
it doesn’t work here anymore thank you
they were here when I got
here guys shut up M oh
jeez good day we we got here too early
hey we was just waiting where’s Henry
green weren’t you supposed to meet him
here jeez I just got up E I don’t know
okay well come on you you can’t leave
this mess here so I’ll show you the way
to the cafeteria and then we’ll try and
find Henry green okay get up oh je
take
[Music] oh if there’s no staff I guess there’s
no reason to have a cafeteria jeez I
told you we brought too many donuts hey
this is spooky in here it’s like a ghost
town isn’t it
yeah take
off look out
e the lights don’t work hey check this
out there’s sandwiches and smokes in
these machines eh here’s an old Galactic
Border Patrol game jeez you got Jo Lou
and jeez is that tuna or what plugs
don’t work hey give me some quarters we
you AR going to have chocolate milk
forget it hoser the power’s turned off
come on guys let’s go yeah there’s a
door herey it’s locked hey Pam you got a
credit card hey you got a credit card
well yeah I do yeah she’s got a credit
card okay give it to me I need it he
needs your credit card he here okay com
and credit card jeez travel eh here you
go Bey like he once got our dead battery
going by mixing Birds uh feces and uh
spit cuz there’s like acid in
so do you travel quite a
bit
be
Bingo de jackpot look
at how did you do that oh I uh know some
stuff about
electricity hey here’s a
Chate
cheers jeez poser this is 4 months
[Applause] old
what is
it the power is on in the old
cafeteria oh nosy Little Friends it must
be
them I think it’s time the little lady
and I had a
[Music] chat sorry i ralphed b you shouldn’t had
that chocolate milk I know sorry about
your sweater you can take it out of my
page if you want it’s okay jeez you’re
real nice if I didn’t have puke breath
I’d kiss you hey Pam your name’s on this
machine what you got to level six I only
got to level five Beauty playing I never
played that game before well your name’s
right
here not a bad score either 21
1059 right but that’s my birth date
October 21st
1959 hey my name’s gone who’s John elnor
my father fresh the daisy hey can I play
sure go ahead ow this thing’s hot jeez
we better check this look the plug’s
going M Elenor hey Rosie um Mr Smith is
waiting for you where is he in the
brewery room I can show you the way no
thanks it’s okay I can find my way
myself he see you guys later hey thanks
for the jobs Z yeah we’ll work real hard
hey Rosie will you a hockey card abroad
from
home where’d you get that well I collect
them but I already had the gum me sign
it to Bob Mackenzie my good pal put
Rosie L Rose I know you like when people
call you Rosie eh hey how’d Pam’s dad
die he was electrocuted takeoff we he
signning my card hey that was a great
hattick you got against Czechoslovakia
eh sorry about that nervous breakdown
you had though I guess it kind of
screwed up your career you had a nervous
breakdown eh me too when he was born
take off you rer you take off you
numb
okay good morning Miss Elenor I’m
brewmeister Smith my condolences to you
on the loss of your father I appreciate
your sympathy but I came here to talk
about my plans for the
[Music] brewery
[Music] it’s really your Brewery Now isn’t it oh
well I’m very flattered that you think
I’m that important but of course it’s
not true I’m just an employee really
well who employed you to install
surveillance
cameras well you see the brewery
business has become very competitive
these days so security is extremely
important what made this Brewery great
is that my father ran it as a family
business
I’m afraid you have two weeks notice Mr
Smith you must be out of your mind young
lady it takes experience to on the
brewery and you have none I don’t plan
on doing it
[Music] alone Henry want to talk to
you all right let let’s not get excited
I’m the president of the company I’ll
just hire you back she has no right she
has the right she has 51% that’s all the
right she needs you’re right well what
are we going to
do I have a
plan oh no no no no rough stuff now
remember that was our deal I uh I mean
we had a deal I I don’t have the stomach
for it stinking hypocrite you murdered
your own brother you had the stomach for
that the second time the second time you
murdered him first he was already dead
when I killed him I can’t go through
with that again there’ll be police
there’ll be questions I’ll crack I know
I will shut up shut up shut up we are
not going to kill anybody excuse me
brewmeister we’re ready for the
exercises good you’re going to conduct
those experiments with her walking
through the brewery suppose she sees
something where are the Fools With A
mous they’re with Henry green put them
in a game take it to level five level
five level five do it do
it take this we got work to
[Music] do I have to go along with this but
don’t worry you won’t get her your
equipment should protect you being on
the same team is use all the padding I
need Rosie are you okay you okay hoser
hi I’m your father Luke give in the dark
side of the force you knob he saw Jedi
17 times eh
Bey better go to your
goals have a good game
[Applause] man
[Music] [Music] where’s
[Applause] the the power of the force docky you
hosers cover your short side don’t get
deep stick on the
[Music] eyes that was no goal you know they was
in the
[Music] crease come back and fight you hoers
come on
[Applause] get
off oh my left
nut care it’s all right it did that
before now I think he just pressed one
of these buttons
here what are you doing I’m just hang
on there you see that you see that
number April 4th that’s that’s the day
he
died wait look that’s the tape they
showed at the
inquest
look
I killed
him it looks that
[Music] way yeah yeah us your sucking white
skates like a figure skater well us are
like referee skates at least figure
skaters know how to skate
e hey
somebody hked our
clothes jeez who’d want to hark our
clothes eh maybe a couple of these guys
got sick and tired of wearing their
pajamas e oh they’re all on the ice we
better report this to our boss no hey
let’s go see if there’s L and found eh
no let’s report it to our B no l of F’s
a better
[Music] idea
[Music] [Music] f
[Music] [Music] you ever been in here
before
yeah I’ve never seen this stuff before
you certainly don’t need any of this
kind of Hardware to make
beer you ain’t going to find our L found
I told you that was a mistake I’m
skating it’s faster ow ow jeez those
things
hurt who’s
that Smith’s
assistant look at this every camera in
the place is tied into this
console it’s
us they don’t even trust themselves
it’s a
[Music] guys are you sure we didn’t kill them
you just shut up I have this all worked
out Ted you stupid idiot now he’ll be
asleep for 2
hours
w don’t waste
it here
you you
H I told you we take them to the loading
dock and put them in beer C
cases
[Music] hurry oh jeez look at this
place jeez what is this eh it’s a
nuclear bomb shelter come on je let’s
get
bomb there probably beer here somewhere
holy jeez there’s a guy over there
[Music] jeez hey there’s the game we was in hey
what’s with this guy e hey
you you killed him he’s dead I’m a
witness please please I didn’t do that
my promise murderer go he’s not dead
look his stomach’s moving maybe he’s
just sleeping he maybe he’s going to
puke he had too many beers where’s beers
I’ll find
him jeez here’s the organ he was
[Music] using
hey hey look boets no wonder
everything’s so secret around here
they’re cutting Pirates
hey
[Music] hey this piano’s got a computer eh I
don’t know how to work though e you
wouldn’t know how to work it if it’s got
a computer oh yeah Mr Wizard you know
let me try I’m a
genius okay watch this these holes are
skating around in a circle hey
beauty that song’s making them fight eh
yeah do it
[Music] again
[Music] Deo has heard grety there in the dress
room not find out what’s done pford and
om man have been fighting terribly of
course Frank MAV one of the strongest
guys in the league he made out okay but
what a fight well now somebody is
throwing an octopus on the ice and
lenburg and Salon
[Music] go
[Music] how are the brakes they got two stops
then no brakes good work good
work uh listen about that uh shooting
business I’m sorry about that I I didn’t
mean
it
your boys have a nice nap well uh how it
going you’re doing a great job for me
here but I have a special assignment for
you uh uh my daughter you know Pamela
she’s having her birthday and I want to
deliver a couple of kegs very special
kegs for the party jeez these got beer
in them these big CS beer oh yes beer
for for the party now here look here’s
the map and you must follow this route
precisely because otherwise you you’ll
get lost and she’ll be disappointed
where are you guys going what get out of
here get hey Rosie we’re going to Pam’s
birthday you coming it’s a business trip
they’re going on a business trip okay so
we just go down to Lakeside Park here
right that’s right it’s right at the
bottom of the hill you can’t miss it
it’s right at the bottom of the big hill
now you better get started or you’ll be
late okay I’ll go with you hey no no you
open the door open the door we’re going
to get Lo on open the door come ahead
Bo
[Music] [Music] hurry uh oh look everything’s under
control don’t worry I took care of it so
I heard yes uh please do you mind you’re
a little crowded hereo yeah so let me
out please now send those no takes back
to the Institute we have to follow the
van back to the Institute do as I say h
you have to follow the van back back go
back the
back follow the van oh just to make sure
that’s a great idea great idea get I’ll
[Music] drive
hey did you feed hose head this morning
no I forgot he well he was sleeping eh
well make up your mind eh yeah he was
sleeping well she made we got to go home
and feed him eh what in case the party
goes all night we got two
[Music] kids do what are you doing uh just
testing the brakes e it felt a little
soft
where are they
going I don’t understand it Ty I I gave
them a map it was all very clear follow
[Music] them okay don’t be a hog we just have
time for one quick one
okay hey last one in the house is a a
big idiot take
off
hi win
e oh nice
job oh jeez take a look at this she dad
really got in beers eh where are they
Mom
Dad see if they’re in the room don’t
push come on Mom
Dad take off hey get off sorry get
oute I don’t know they were in here
leave
it get his ball quick or he’ll kill us
yeah he’s got a funny look in his eye
e what the stink are they doing in
there would you like me to tilt your
chair back shut up 20 cans ought to be
enough a okay we’re going to a party
don’t eat the furniture I got to get
some new underwears jeez food legs oh
remember where we got this yeah was
running off them Pirates eh was that a
dream or what it was no dream it was in
your underwears okay let’s see what are
you going do one of them new Square
records e that goes like on a on on a
record player that’s like on its side no
way that’s NE PE some British New Wave
band take off you you don’t know yeah
they boo
go what do you think sounds like a
British New Wave band yeah Beauty sound
Beauty not my style of music hey Jose
here’s another one for your collection
eh Beauty Hank Aaron wonder if he can
hit there they
are hey who’s driving I am cuz you’re
too loaded to drive take off I’m not
just getting warmed up for the party eh
can’t drink and drive at the same time
[Music] Hoser
[Applause] it’s nice to get away from the brewery
once in a while you know take a little
drive you
know hey did you ever notice that uh
like in movies that they when they’re
driving like they don’t look at the road
like for a long time gee no I I’d never
noticed that yeah that’s cuz uh they’re
being told eh really by like rig
[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] that’s
we have them now just like I told
[Music] you what’s going on will you stop this
thing come
on great
work so try the parking breake eh thank
God the parking brake never works these
cops is good in rest us
no point in steering now take off you
steer this
[Music] thing
[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] a
end of the war the end of the
[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] war
[Music] [Applause] [Music] help you better call an
ambulance
they’re down at the end of the warf sir
all right you better follow us there hey
you guys follow
him
here right right all right back off
let’s have a look here back off you all
right
okay she’s fainted call an ambulance
silence way
[Music] sir we’re down there 10 minutes mhm
nobody can last that long not Houdini
not
[Music] [Applause] [Music] nobody
54 Mar 2 is uh
[Applause] [Music] 1098
[Music] [Music] w
[Music] la
[Music] hey what oh okay that’s it that’s enough
than
those big cons are going to love you eh
what do you mean you’re a cute little
guy they’re going to be loving you from
dawn until dusk turn where are you going
to be I’ll be in the cafeteria selling
smokes all right single file down here
Step It Up move it jeez they’re going to
kill us hands on your pockets back
against the walls oh jeez feet together
come on straighten up here look straight
ahead straighten up I said okay that’s
it okay try to pick out the man who
kidnapped you that’s her
hey how you doing get back there well
that’s her she was get back quiet okay
you can’t get any further back shut
[Music] up
[Music] [Applause] what the doctor say catatonic
schizophrenia what H schizophrenia
marked by an excessive and sometimes
violent motor activity or by
generalizing
aiss sounds like you just picked that
out of the dictionary no no that’s
that’s exactly what the doctor told us I
have a photographic memory you know
really oh yes I never forget a thing
well they might be useful in my
investigation of this case well feel
free to call upon me at any
[Music] time I compliments in the many fine
things you have in your home well thank
you mhm bonapart uh Napoleon actually
yeah what a thing like that cost oh4 or
$5,000 I don’t
remember who uh who chiseled this I was
some uh sculptor I think think uh I’m
terrible on names I I thought you said
you had a photographic
memory oh well normally I would but uh
darling ah my wife you didn’t tell me we
had company I think you know the
inspector dear uh hello my wife actually
how is she uh she’s about the same I’m
afraid I don’t know what’s wrong with
her she hasn’t said a word since the
accident I hope it’s not something that
I’ve done no no of course not no uh well
the inspector has to leave oh wouldn’t
you like a drink or something thing no
he wouldn’t he’d loved to but but he has
to run oh right thank you
inspector I hope she’ll be able to
testify tomorrow morning who oh yes uh
yes we hope so good night bye
night chimp here does the kill him I
don’t like to kill I’m the brains eh
like we got over5 billion in in our
Hideout only some of the money’s marked
a so we’re not spending it we’s just
waiting these guys like a smoke no
e we want our lungs to be pink when they
fry
us we told them we didn’t want a lawyer
Shimp here would probably just kill him
anyway lawyers are for
sucks McKenzie brothers your lawyers
[Applause] here
come you can talk in here
okay hi I’m Jack Hawkman your lawyer
how’s it going how’s it call Mr Hawkman
I remember you from the office eh you’re
very observant I’ll make this as simple
as possible the two of you have been
charged with kidnapping under Section
2471 of the criminal code the offense of
kidnapping is comprised of two elements
both both of which must be satisfied
before a conviction May lie the first
element acus Rus which was satisfied on
October the 10th 1983 when you Robert
and Douglas McKenzie did kidnap one
Pamela elar where that like we didn’t do
it yeah that’s right we innocent hey if
you’re innocent then you have nothing to
[Laughter] [Music] fear get
[Music] off exhibit a it’s an open and shut case
should I time code it
yes now what about that missing
[Music] [Applause] [Music] disc how did you get the code random
chance that’s
impossible play back give me
magnification on the code
[Music] pad that’s not how
code give me the John El no
[Music] disc look look at
[Music] this what the hell was
that there’s no scientific explanation
for
it so it’s pointless to
[Music] worry let me see there’s 11 12
13 they knew exactly what they were
doing that took the one disc that would
incriminate
me what are we going to do
[Music] now we will move towards October fest’s
plan and I will not underestimate our
little friends
[Music] again do you want me to light it
up
no hey
it’s the Press I’ll handle
it that’s how you handle the Press come
on
we’re late let’s go remind me to pay his
bill on time eh yeah Chuck North for the
defense
eh your worship I wish to plead my
clients guilty to statutes 125 and 233
of the criminal code and not guilty to
all other charges due to mental
incompetence objection you cannot split
pleas like that two bowls of split
pleasa soup to go
oh did you get bleeding nose yeah your
honor you Mr judge my brother’s got some
bleeding hey take off my brother’s got a
bleeding nose we need some kleenex
yourself Clark please Clark’s going to
give you some
[Music] kleenex and this sir is the same tape
that your engineered retrieved from the
the television cameras that monitor the
activity in your Brewery oh yes and I’d
like to point out that this uh this tape
has not been tampered with or edited in
any way uh it even has a a Time code on
it and and those are very difficult to
fake for the benefit of the Court would
you please explain time
code just because I don’t know what it
is doesn’t mean I’m lying
J he usually stops bleeding by now oh
this isn’t work something quick a couple
of bullets maybe we should call like the
Red Cross something try these well good
idea Beauty
clerk
Beauty may I remind you two idiots that
this is a court of law he’s the want to
bleed know I didn’t do that proceed
counselor would you state your name and
occupation please Dr BM Smith resident
head of Psychiatry at the Royal Canadian
Institute for the mentally insane now Dr
Smith we know you’re familiar with this
case the victim Pamela Elenor is
currently in your care at the
rcii that is
correct Dr Smith would you say that you
are sufficiently familiar with the
defendants to give us a preliminary
diagnosis I am I would say without a
doubt that they suffer from paranoid
schizophrenia would you kindly explain
to the court what that means
that is schizophrenia marked by
excessive and sometimes violent motor
activity or by generalized
inhibition I do I do I guess we’re
married clerk don’t where’s the
honeymoon oh order give me a toasted bag
bacon hold the toast don’t make me laugh
I must instruct you not to speak unless
you are spoken to Jee he starting to
sound like the old man pretty soon he be
setting me out for
beers
you right all right
right until the victim is mentally fit
for trial I want these two lunatics
confined under the psychiatric care of
Dr Smith at the Royal Canadian Institute
for the mentally
insane this hearing is
adjourned
[Music] [Applause] [Music] hey take off this is my side don’t go
over that line what line I don’t see a
line there is a line if you put your
mouth on take off I’m going to do the
steamrolling take off don’t
away Steamroller I’m steam rolling you
take
off ah a steam
roller hi fellas my name’s Ted and I’m
happy to be working with
[Music] you I’ll reconnect this forget it Dr
Smith is doing labotomy in the
[Music] morning
[Music] no oh doctor thank God you’re
here
[Music] we lost
him what did you give him uh this is
just a thing a hypmic needle excuse
me help stop that man stop
[Applause] him
[Music] 650 um here this ought to be worth 650
no I don’t want a 650 hey I got your
license number you R bomb
650 hey you 650 hey you let me see your
ticket
650 I I’ve got you
25 who was in this bed uh Jean
lose John lose the hockey player I don’t
know yes I guess so is this the
available bid no he’s I don’t know where
he is this is the one he’s dead well get
him out of that bed that’s not my job
I’m sorry not your job what what we want
them to Mama you’re asking me to do all
sorts of crazy things just isn’t my
business going to listen to what have
you done with the disc what are you
looking at me for I don’t got it
maybe uh it’s out of gas
hey oh you farted no wasn’t me it was
the chair e he’s lying check the machine
he I’m not
lying he’s lying all right I don’t need
no machine to tell me that he I didn’t
do it I swear jeez don’t slice cheese in
here with take
off all right come on down the hall all
right don’t be a bully eh
jeez hey there’s those guys to Heart our
clothes hey hey how come you not playing
hockey eh okay I know my right hey who’s
in this
room
hey in all right don’t touch anything
I’ll be right
[Music] back
[Music] what was
that let’s get out of
[Music] here how’s that beauty take it up to 30
this time no way it’s my turn I okay
I’ll just disconnect these no he he went
out like he went to get a
pizza who’s this je gu H up bab okay put
this in your mouth so you don’t bite
your tongue out hey let’s try the head
this time Dy okay see if You’ stick to
your 12o maintenance program e then we
wouldn’t have to jump start you like
this but oh no you had to do it your way
you think you know everything e okay
here we
go I’m going to take it up to n this
time hey get away from there don’t touch
those things no no no no no you’re
always touching things take off hey he’s
party pooping hey hey some guy call for
you while you was out yeah the phone for
me yeah yeah okay do it now no no he’ll
get me oh come on hey gez we’re about do
this instead
hey how’s it going sh uh it’s going
pretty
good he doesn’t like him much where’s
Pam I got to find Pam jeez I saw her
down the hall before but she was dozing
off B come on come on oh jeez we got to
come back to my turn eh one guy drove
away the car from here and he gave me
this maybe he’s a doctor and one guy
stole the card over there my coat
too okay let’s take a look sir he was he
was not wearing any clothes he was
wearing pajamas he stole my coat and hit
me
[Music] uh-huh
hey but I saw you drowned they saved my
life you saved my
life what are you doing in here oh uh
we’re from the Department of Justice and
we’re adjusting the beds this is Mr Roy
our
consultant jeez 2 minutes for elboy
let’s get out of
here
[Music] what’s going
[Music] on hey where are all these hes going e
there’s a tunnel to the brewery let’s go
jeez I ain’t playing hockey again tunnel
to the brewery take off how
conv
[Music] [Music] [Applause] what is you want what’s going on here
didn’t we pay our electric bill the
circuits of fusion the computers the
surveillance system everything seems to
be overloaded and I think Ted is dead
Ted yeah oh my God look it’s him it’s my
brother
oh no John he wants revenge I know it
he’s going to kill us I didn’t do it it
wasn’t me wasn’t me I didn’t do it turn
this thing off I should never have
listened to
you shut
up could crush your head that in
that but I
won’t because I Need You Now go to the
loading
dock make sure the trucks leave for
October as
[Music] clown do as I
[Music] say they put some stuff in the
beer and they make us drink it every day
my father must have found out about that
that’s why they killed
him come
on got this tunnel way oh I’m having a
heart
attack wait I want to go to the
cafeteria you go with her you come with
me be
careful don’t worry I will come on come
on
see
yeah good
day
jeez I’m too glad we got rid of them
they really starting to bug me eh come
on let’s go yeah
okay you mean you never been a
part St where you are or I’ll kill
you where’s the other one he’s dead
Smith you killed him I’m good so one
less to worry about that now come this
way
now hurry
[Music] up hurry up come on let’s
go I saw
[Music] that this the one stolen from the
hospital that’s it I’m not down now
Japanese eh yes sir The Whole World’s
made in Japan good be sir
[Music] [Applause] [Music] how
ironic you came here with a mouse in a
bottle now you are the mouse as for you
my dear don’t worry about me Smith I
wrote everything I know in a letter and
mailed it to the newspapers when did you
do that very good my dear cunning right
to the end but unfortunately we find the
mail system unreliable here so we use
private coural nice
try it’s really too bad you won’t be
around to see the whole world become
addicted to elsen or beer in a few hours
I will introduce my special formula to
the public at October Fest when they
drink enough they will do whatever I
tell them you know people can tell
what’s in beer like my brother can tell
the difference between beers by what is
birp tastes like your brother is dead
now but he’s not really dead I just told
him that when you
[Music] fainted bu
[Music] here a lot to remember you know what to
do I think so okay see you later okay oh
see
you my brother and I used to s say that
drowning in beer was like heaven eh now
he’s not here and I got two soers this
isn’t Heaven this sus don’t talk try and
use as little oxygen as possible now
maybe when the level rises we can get up
to that port
[Music] hole
I think it’s getting warmer in
here I I didn’t notice
anything
uh uh no fellas no no no exercises
today oh oh no no fellas forget about
[Music] it no can we talk this over fellas uh I
I no you can’t wait fell oh turn that
off wait you can’t do this to me I can
charge
[Music] you a
[Music] [Music] [Music] oh
[Music] uh
[Music] yeah
[Music] [Music] hey come on they’re in the B room let’s
[Music] go back this is really going to
[Music] blow didn’t
blow anybody
hold I can’t believe it he drank it all
help me
out you got to help him you got to get
him out of there
thanks oh no jeez I got to take a leak
so bad I can taste
it
what are you doing walking around I
thought you were sick there’s a guy back
there trapped in a bat somebody tried to
kill him you stay here come
on all right out of the way come on Cops
clear out clear
out holy [ __ ] how’d he get in there I
didn’t do it well how we going to get
him out we can try cutting him out with
a blowtorch you couldn’t cut through
that with a torch no we need an
explosives expert no don’t blow him up
he’s my brother please don’t hurt him
get out of the way get out of the way
he’s going to take a leak get out of the
way hey get me out of here will I got a
Weis to throw boy that was some Bouch we
thought you were going to take a leak
what do you mean just get me out of here
he come on hey you I had save you some
but I had to save everyone’s life in
yeah well G I don’t know how to do this
oh not there okay how about here ooh
that feels
[Music] good
[Music] [Music] I think I better
go
[Music] the hell was that it wasn’t me the roof
just blew off the Institute it’s on fire
on fire jeez hey can you hold on for a
minute yeah okay but hurry will I got to
go yeah help me get him out of here I
got an
idea all right
we you done yet yeah
Dy you did a fine job son what took you
two minutes would have taken us 2 hours
you ever w a job with the fire
department you come and see me you got
it huh what about my brother can he get
a job your boys want to come with us
where you going October Fest jeez I’ve
had enough beer for a while two trucks
full of that bad beer went there this
morning we have to stop the people from
drinking it that’s a thirsty crowd it
won’t be easy okay I got an idea but we
got to go home first okay come on okay
you guys go with them yeah how come
we’re going home don’t worry about it
just put these clothes on I’ll tell you
[Music] okay one more
table yeah
Oher we’ll go right over there okay
right over there please you got
it okay uh all cops get out of your
cars okay I want to take a head count uh
like me we’ll have some breakfast hey
some back B sandwiches while he’s
waiting okay another thing um y all went
through the stop sign over there okay
and that’s a moving violation and my
brother and I uh like we have a lot of
parking things say what my brother’s
coming in now so all cops come on up
here now sit here sit okay got a map map
yeah
right okay this like an aerial view okay
take the floral one take the floral into
Kitchener here and then take Highway 6
North okay it goes right up here that’s
the offramp no look right there there’s
the offramp don’t forget to make a ride
at Highway 6 eh yeah okay so when you
get there you can have all the free beer
and sausages you can eat
[Music] [Music] [Music] can I have everyone’s attention please
we are very happy to announce that today
all the beer is free
pry from our good friends at
[Applause] [Music] El
[Music] [Music] [Applause] go
[Applause] I wouldn’t go in there there’s a big
skunk in there you know that that’s a
Toronto skunk my jurisdiction
[Applause] right
well boys it worked worked I can’t thank
you enough really can’t that’s some dog
of yours too he really hungry isn’t he
yeah he’s always hungry eh well we
couldn’t feed him cuz we was in jail
yeah you put us there thanks a lot we
she told were just a second just a
second all right now I got maybe got you
the criminal charges but believe me that
metal incompetence bit will be will’ll
be tough to beat I’ll take care of them
from now on they’re working full time at
the brewery for me and
Rosie come on let’s go here let’s go
here see inspector
bye oh sorry we just wondering e like uh
just exactly what is wrong with the beer
eh is it poison like could have killed
yeah no no no no it’s not a poison it’s
uh more like a drug you can wear off in
time like it did with me eh oh well we
was thinking like since we’re employees
of the brewery now way like perhaps it
would be uh a good idea for us to take
like all the contaminated beer back to
the brewery where it can be properly
disposed of eh you know how to handle
one of those big rigs she’s a 10 speed
yeah sure of course like uh we drive
them all the time eh well take off eh
Bey come on you’re lying come on it’s
okay don’t worry just trust me just come
around here just come here I want to
talk just tricking me come here if
you’re sucking me in I swear oh you
dock off you don’t know how to drive
this thing I do so it’s just a 10 speed
that’s 5 speed time two eh we’re going
to crash we’re going to be in the water
again take up we are not going to crash
eh there’s no way I’ll crash this this
is a beer truck
[Music] eh
[Music] [Music] [Music] oh jeez okay good day welcome to the end
of the movie e yeah how’d you like it
yeah I’m Bob Mackenzie this this my
brother Doug oh excuse me how’s it going
yeah I was drinking during the beer cuz
I was having such uh during the movie
he’s loaded hey he’s gone okay I’ve had
a couple so time for movie review eh he
said don’t have a voice like Jiminy
Cricket okay movie review okay I thought
it was Beauty what’ you think duck well
I thought there were a couple of uh
minor uh story flaws but all in all it
was a good $5 worth for me and my whole
family okay I’d like to thank the acad
academy for this AC for this beer it’s
Beauty I’ll put it on my mantle and um
you know try and keep it cold try and
keep it keep dust off it too okay how
about all those people that left early
he when the movie was ending e they’re
they got their cars out now and you you
got to see this e Beauty it’s like
leaving a ball game early eh they
thought they were going to get out and
instead they missed all this great stuff
yeah Beauty okay all these names is
going by these guys worked on a movie he
like uh this guy here he is beauty mind
you he ate a lot uh at like meal time he
he was always late here goes another one
it’s great do a movie you get to learn
what all the stuff means he like grip he
I never knew what grips were e you know
what they are e they’re guys that wear
tools on their belts and they live like
up in the rafters e they come early in
the morning and go up there and you
don’t see them all day and then they go
out they’re sort of like uh like a breed
eh you knew what a gaffer is e living
proof of evolution it’s a guy that like
he you know he gaffs Gaff for
us that’s what a gaffer
does okay what 2 minutes is up 2 minutes
and holding okay he’s going to blast off
in a minute you ever seen him do that
you ever see at the end of movies uh
when they like Freeze Frame okay Freeze
Frame okay never see in movies Cowboys
ride off into the
sunset when they hear the whistle blow
they ride off ride off Happy Trails see
you bye
[Music] now
h

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rick moranis and dave thomas SCTV #Strange #Brew