Thanks for everything, Rick Moranis.

Sorry about the background audio. The mic did the best it could.
Transcript:
oh boy here we go all right so i’m
getting ready for work when i find out i
managed to sleep through a snow storm
like
a fairly big one my car is pretty much
buried entirely in snow so i dig out my
car the best that i can then i avoid
hitting anyone by sliding left and right
across the snow desperately and i begin
my haphazard journey to work
now i don’t want to drive on a highway
because i’m mildly concerned i’ll end up
a news blip about how i crashed at a
high speed into a cliffside by sliding
on a flake of snow
so instead i come to the brilliant
conclusion of driving through a
residential district and
as we all know they totally prioritize
powering a rinky dink side street over
an area of major automotive travel
so the roads seem fine but then i start
turning onto a road which is just a
complete blanket of snow you can’t tell
the difference between a yard and the
street not a single person has tried
driving on this yet okay
you know who can drive on that with ease
a buffoon like myself so i turn onto the
road and slide almost instantly into a
ditch and my wheels start spinning so
i’m like great i’m gonna freeze the
death in the middle of nowhere solely
because i neglected this crazy option
known as reverse instead of powering
through to get onto the street
so as the cold start setting in and my
spend my final thoughts thinking of
victoria justice a knock sounds on my
driver’s side window and i am greeted by
rick moranas well not the real rick
mirandas but he looked like his walmart
brand cousin maybe twice removed he’s in
a full beige trench coat he’s wearing a
pitch black fedora and he has some
lackluster stubble on both sides of his
face he’s also tipping this hat
dramatically
it’s likely to contend with the wind
that’s blowing in his face as he’s at my
window but i chose to tell myself he was
just making a very dramatic entrance he
looks at me and yells greetings
as one often does let’s start a
conversation looks like you’re stuck in
some snow friend
yeah i noticed rick thank you
he recommends i put the car in reverse
and then go straight
thank you what an idea why didn’t i
think of that rick moranas so i reverse
and then start driving straight to get
out of this nightmare as quickly as
possible
rick waves in my rear view mirror i said
hey honey i freed the kid but
enter truck
uh a giant truck starts driving straight
at me and since the road is just a
blanket of snow no one knows where one
lane begins and my life ends so i swerve
off the road to let the truck pass
and i get stuck in a ditch again
now this time i’m surrounded by new
sites uh a man is snow blowing right
next to my car and ignoring my desperate
pleas for help
and i’m extra stuck so there’s no
brilliant play call this time of
reversing and driving that’s gonna save
me from this disaster
so the cold starts setting in and once
again i have my final fleeting thoughts
of victoria justice when suddenly a
knock sounds on my driver’s side window
ahoy there sailor
says rick moranis still tightly
clutching his mighty fedora looking like
he will be joining hall and oates for
his private eyes debut
it appears you’ve made land
a perfectly awkward greeting
have you tried reversing and going
straight he says yes i said quite flatly
in response
huh
hmm and he just stares off into space
like that was his only possible solution
so i’m stumped can’t go anywhere over
here
well you remember that guy that was snow
plowing well apparently suddenly he
remembered me so he walks over and says
great another idiot in the ditch
that was his greedy
i think i preferred rick’s
i got an idea rick says instead of
addressing this rude greeting
uh if you let me drive i’ll get the car
out
now typically this is how in 80s films
that usually starts a carjacking scene
but
desperate i decide to leave my life and
fate to my vehicle in rick moranis’s
rather small hands with the combined
strength of a jerk and there’s no dana
only zuul the two helped push me out of
the ditch and i drove on my merry way i
checked my rear view and rick vanished
into the snowstorm
batman vanished in the middle of the
night
i chose to believe rick was a vigilante
patrolling these snow-ridden streets
freeing cars in the name of justice
ladder he wanted to carjack me which is
feasible i guess so uh yeah
that’s it

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